In the building where I work, I am, with some other people, responsible for making sure everybody has evacuated the building and security in case of a fire alarm. This means I have an area where I have to check — in the bathrooms and meeting rooms — if they’re empty, all the windows are closed, and so on.

Usually, when there’s an exercise, we receive an email informing us, so we know it’s a drill. Only the people who are responsible for evacuation receive an email.

One day, the fire alarm sets off in the building. I haven’t received an email, so I know it’s serious, and I start the evacuation of my area.

Everybody leaves the building. Then, I see one coworker still sitting at her desk with no worries at all.

I confront her.

Me: “Leave your desk and evacuate the building. Don’t you hear the fire alarm?!”

Coworker: “Um, I wasn’t informed of this! I have work to do!”

She is not responsible for evacuation, so she would not have received an email anyway, and not receiving an email would mean it’s for real!

Me: “Seriously? This is not an exercise; this is for real! Leave now!”

Coworker: “No! I have work to do! Leave me alone!”

I don’t want to risk my life for this.

Me: “Look. Either you leave now by walking to the exit, or I drag you outside! Your choice!”

I yelled and must have had an extremely angry face and attitude, because she finally got up, took her purse, and started walking to the exit.

Finally, we reached the area where we had to go in case of evacuation. Everybody had already realised that two people were missing and were relieved to see us.

The person who was overseeing the evacuation asked me what had taken me so long, and I explained what had happened.

Meanwhile, I heard the coworker complaining that I had made her leave her desk while she had important stuff to do and that she was going to Human Resources with this. Everybody looked at her in disbelief.

The supervisor made a report to her boss, and I never heard from HR, but she got fired a month later.

I live with my mother, though we’re more like roommates. I pay the gas and electric bills while she pays the rest of the bills. My stepdad sleeps in a different house that we also own to keep it from seeming to be abandoned while we save up money to renovate it.

One morning in early December, I get up and am much more groggy than usual. I stumble out of my room to go to the bathroom, and I see my stepdad look up. He’s over by the stove and frantic.

Stepdad: “Are you okay?!”

Me: “I’m tired. I need to use the bathroom.”

Stepdad: “No, get your cat and go outside! Now!”

I am very confused, but I do what he says. I go back, grab my cat, and wander out of the house after slipping some shoes on. My stepdad comes back out a few minutes later with my groggy mother, the other cats, and the dog.

Stepdad: “The entire house was filled with gas! There was so much in there that you could see it! Are you both okay?!”

Now I begin to panic.

Me: “What?! How did that happen? Do we have a gas leak?”

Stepdad: “No, the stovetop was turned on, but it didn’t have a flame in it! The entire house was pumped with gas all night! Who left the stove on?!”

Mom: “Oh. I did that.”

Me: “…you did what?”

Mom: “I turned the flame on low to add some heat to the house last night. Something must have blown it out.”

I can’t tell who is angrier at this: me or my stepdad.

Me: “What the h***? Why would you do that?!”

Mom: “Well, it was cold, and the heater has been acting weird, so I didn’t want to turn it on.”

Me: “If [Stepdad] hadn’t gotten here in time, we could have died! No, listen to me. I pay the gas bill, and I say no more turning a burner on at night! Ever!”

Mom: “Well, what am I supposed to do when it gets cold?”

Me: “Put on a pair of socks! Wear an extra pair of PJ bottoms! Wear something with sleeves! Throw another blanket on your bed! You have a large, warm dog who sleeps with you; snuggle her!”

We later figured out that the reason we both made it through okay was that I sleep with my head next to the window that I keep cracked open in the winter, because I need a VERY cold room to be able to sleep well, and one of the windows in mom’s room has a chunk of glass missing. We both had a good supply of fresh air, as did the animals who sleep with us.

Mom doesn’t pull this anymore.

I work as a lifeguard at an outdoor facility. I am watching the diving board when a timid albeit confident girl walks to the end of the board. It seems like she stands on the end of the board for longer than a normal amount of time.

Me: “Hey, can you swim?”

Guest: “This a pool, ain’t it?”

How can you argue with that sound logic? Unsurprisingly, I have to dive in to save her while she sits at the bottom of the pool.

After getting her out and making sure she’s okay:

Me: “Why did you jump even though you knew you couldn’t swim?”

Guest: “I just thought I would figure it out once I got in.”

Related:
I Have A Sinking Feeling About This, Part 4
I Have A Sinking Feeling About This, Part 3
I Have A Sinking Feeling About This, Part 2
I Have A Sinking Feeling About This

This was back when my border collie and I still lived at my parents’ house. I owned a bearded dragon who was kept in my bedroom. One night, I was downstairs focusing on college work and my mum had gone up for a shower. My dog was relaxing next to me. All of a sudden, he bolted upright, staring ahead with his head to one side. Then, he took off upstairs.

At the time, I didn’t think much of it; he sometimes liked to greet the resident humans after their traumatic time in the shower. I thought my mum had just come back out and he wanted to make sure she hadn’t drowned. But then, I heard a yell from upstairs.

Mum: “[My Name], your bedroom is full of smoke!”

I ran upstairs and found out that, indeed, the room was full of smoke. Something had gone wrong with the heat lamp in my bearded dragon’s enclosure. Perhaps the lizard had been climbing and the fitting wasn’t tight enough, but the whole thing had spun toward the back of the wooden vivarium and was slowly burning through. And yes, I do still kick myself about this. It was an eighty-watt bulb pointing at wood. You can imagine.

It turned out that my mum had come out of the bathroom to see my dog scratching at my bedroom door. She’d opened it, and that’s when she’d seen the smoke.

I immediately took the lizard out and put him in a temporary enclosure while I made sure his usual was completely free of smoke and while my dad drilled the fitting in place.

That was probably eight years ago. My border collie is now almost twelve, and my bearded dragon sadly passed away in 2021, aged thirteen. My dog still loves to check in on his little critter friends, now consisting of a hamster and guinea pigs! In fact, the hamster has moved into the four-foot-long refurbished and hamster-proofed vivarium my lizard used to live in. It still has the burn marks. I still feel terrible. But I’m eternally grateful to my pooch for that and all the times he’s tolerated and supported me through poor mental health.

Related:
Collies Without Borders
Border Collies Are Focused… On Something…
No Borders On That Guy’s Rudeness
No Borders On That Kid’s Kindness
No Borders On That Lady’s Crazy

This story is part of our Border Collie roundup!

Read the next Border Collie roundup story!

Read the Border Collie roundup!

I’m outdoors when I hear a horrible ringing and grinding noise. I decide to figure out where the noise is coming from. This isn’t hard: the noise is getting louder and seems to be approaching me.

To my shock, a City Of Minneapolis vehicle drives past with a propane tank hanging from a tube connected to a piece of machinery in the back. The propane tank is dragging on the ground, producing the horrible ringing noise.

I whip out my cell phone and get a picture of the plates, the Department Of Transportation number, and the phone number to call. I call the city and attempt to explain what’s happening. When I reach the part about the propane tank dragging on the ground…

Employee: “The tank is what?!“

Me: “Dragging on the ground.”

Employee: “How is it dragging?”

Me: “It was connected to a tube that was connected to something in the vehicle.”

Employee: *Slightly hysterical* “So, you’re telling me that a live propane tank is dragging behind this vehicle?”

Me: “Yes.”

*Click*

Me: “Uh… hello?”

*Ring-ring*

Me: “Uh… Hi, this is [My Name].”

Employee: “Yeah, we were disconnected. I was so surprised by what you told me that I accidentally hung up on you without getting some important information. What were the license number and DOT number of the truck in question again?”

They promised me that they would get in touch with the driver and handle the problem, but I still think it’s both funny and horrifying that they hung up on me mid-call because they were so surprised about the propane tank.