If you’ve ever been concerned about how safe large commercial trucks are on the highways, most are actually pretty safe, but some are death on wheels. This is a story about a truck I encountered that still gives me the creeps.

Years ago, I worked for a tool and construction equipment rental place. We had two large above-ground fuel tanks (one diesel, one gas). We guys in the back would regularly take dip measurements and let the front end know in advance when they needed to bring in more fuel, but one time, the notification slipped through the cracks. Mistakes happen and they were able to order gasoline to be delivered on a Saturday — no biggie as we were open then anyway.

The fuel trucks we got weren’t B-trains (the semis with two trailers that you see filling up the tanks at your local gas station) but the smaller tankers with the tank mounted on the truck chassis — kind of like the trucks you see delivering furnace oil but bigger. For some reason, the only truck available had to come from a city a couple of hours away.

From that city, at about sea level, the highway took an immediate steep, winding path to a summit, then another equally steep winding path down to about about 300 to 400 feet above sea level, and then everything was more or less level. The locals know it as “going over the hump”.

The guy showed up mid-afternoon, backed into where our tanks were, and started pumping fuel. I walked over to say hello and shoot the breeze, approaching the driver’s side of his rig, and what I saw made my heart freeze. Talk to any competent trucker or someone who runs heavy equipment and they’ll tell you that you can tell at a glance if something’s seriously wrong. Work taking in rental equipment returns and it’s the same, as customers will often try to conceal damage, and you develop a spidey sense when something is off.

Forgive me for painting a picture. The truck is a cab and chassis. The tank has a frame underneath it, and in this case, there were four sets of brackets on each side that allowed the tank frame to be secured to like brackets on the chassis of the truck. There were large bolts close to a foot long, with springs in between the brackets (for dampening, I’m guessing, and I confirmed this by looking at the set-up on the intact passenger side). There were two bolts per bracket, so eight per side.

On the driver’s side, there was one bolt that had sheared off and was just sitting there. The other seven were missing entirely. I pulled the sheared bolt out, and where it had broken there was considerable rust; this was far from recent damage. I approached the driver and told him what I had found. He seemed surprised. This idiot had obviously not done a pre-trip inspection nor, from the looks of it, had anyone else for quite some time. And this was a major national fuel company!

The guy told me that when he was coming down off the hump, he’d felt the truck getting tippy on the corners. That wasn’t the fuel sloshing inside the tank; they have baffles to prevent that. It was the entire tank threatening to detach from the truck because it was only fastened on one side! The attitude floored me. It doesn’t take much imagination to think what even a smaller tanker filled with gasoline would do should it tip over, rupture the tank, and have sparks from metal sliding on the road. With luck, only the driver would get barbequed. If he’d had to do an evasive manoeuver on the freeway and tipped, many innocent people could have been injured or killed.

My supervisor had a fix. We had long, thick, grade-eight bolts and nuts. We fastened down the one side as best we could and let him go. I wasn’t comfortable with that as I didn’t think that tanker should have left our yard. I don’t know exactly what happened after that… except for one thing.

On my own time, as a concerned citizen, I had a nice anonymous talk with an equally concerned fellow from the provincial highway safety and inspection branch, complete with the truck number and the details I’ve already told you. To say that this guy had a justice boner would be understating it. All he said is that, based on my information, that depot was going to have all its trucks inspected, and they’d be going through all the pre-trip logs and maintenance records with a fine-toothed comb. I told him to have fun. He said he would.

I am working at a go-kart ride for little kids. There is a height limit; anyone over forty-eight inches tall isn’t allowed to ride for safety reasons. A kid comes up and she’s about six inches too tall.

Me: “Sorry, you’re a bit too tall.”

Her dad flips out and starts yelling.

Dad: “You let her on this ride last summer, and now you won’t? I’m going to tell your manager!”

He then immediately turns around to the other parents in line and yells some more.

Dad: “Can you believe this jerk? He let my kid on last summer and now he won’t!”

The other parents are silent for a few seconds until one brave, awesome person replies.

Other Parent: “It’s not like your kid is going to shrink every year.”

The angry guy then just stormed off with his kid.

One day, the fire alarm goes off in our store. I am on the emergency team and have additional responsibilities, so [Cafe Colleague] and I head to the meeting point to see what we need to do. Our store has two entrances on the main road, so we are both assigned to an entrance each to stop customers from coming in. On my way to my post, I have to shoo many customers away, including a lady who “just wants to look at the sale stuff quickly”.

About ten minutes after the fire alarm starts, it’s still ringing, and the store is empty. I’m standing at the door nearest to the post office down the road, and [Cafe Colleague] is standing at the other door. We can’t see each other due to the road layout. [Admin Colleague] walks toward me from the street. Thinking maybe she is coming to give me an update, I call her over.

She tries to go into the store! I stop her.

Admin Colleague: “What’s going on? Why can’t I go in?”

Me: “Um, the fire alarm is going off?”

The alarm is still going — very loudly. [Admin Colleague] suddenly gets a look of horror on her face.

Admin Colleague: “Oh, no! I’ve just been to the post office and I didn’t swipe out!”

We have a board near the fire exits where every staff member, contractor, etc., has to sign in. You move your T-card with your name on it to the relevant board when you enter the store and move it back when you leave. You should do this even when leaving the store for just a couple of minutes. In the event of a fire, the managers grab this board and do a roll call at the evacuation point to make sure everyone is safe. If you are still showing as “in-store” and you’re not there, they will be looking for you and could put themselves in danger.

Me: “You’d best get to the evacuation point quickly, then!”

The quickest and safest way to get there is by walking down the road that runs parallel to the store. [Admin Colleague] walks off and I think nothing else of it.

Later on, the alarm is off, we’ve been given the all-clear (it turns out a faulty sprinkler set the alarms off) and we are back at work. I tell [Cafe Colleague] about [Admin Colleague].

Cafe Colleague: “Yeah, I saw her, too. She tried to come in through my door, as well.”

Me: “What?”

Cafe Colleague: “She wanted to get to the evacuation point by going through the store and going out the back entrance.”

Me: “A store that theoretically could have been burning down?”

Cafe Colleague: “Yep…”

I suspect [Admin Colleague] was given a stern talking-to by the managers after this.

My eighth-grade teacher was giving a speech about appreciation and things like that. At the end of it, she said:

Teacher: “I hope that something terrible happens to every one of you, just once in your life. It makes you appreciate what you have! And it makes the bad times a little less bad.”

We were kind of stunned at her basically wishing harm on us, but we could understand the basics of her point. The next day, one student didn’t show up for school.

Teacher: “Where is [Student #1]? Is he sick or something?”

Student #2: “His house burned down yesterday.”

Teacher: “Oh, haha, very funny. Is this about what I said yesterday? Where is he actually?”

[Student #1]’s best friend and neighbour spoke up.

Student #3: “It’s true. His house burned down last night. Everyone’s okay, but they lost everything.”

[Teacher] went white and just about fainted.

Teacher: “I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!”

She never made that speech again.

I work in the office space above a warehouse. I come in one morning with some questions for my supervisor, as I’m a fairly new employee, and I wander into her own smaller office to ask. 

On her immaculate desk is what looks like a shoelace, next to a letter from a very well-known company who happens to be one of our clients. I ask her about it. 

Supervisor: “This is a string from one of their garment bags. I have to light one end of it on fire to see what color it is. If I can tell what color it is, I can tell how it should be recycled. The problem is that I don’t have a lighter.”

Unfortunately, neither of us carries a lighter on our person, so we figure we’ll talk to one of the warehouse folks. 

Now, because I’m new, and because of the way the system works, I have to go clock in just like the warehouse folks, which is downstairs. I figure I’ll ask when I go down there. 

One of the warehouse managers is at his desk. I explain what I’m looking for, and he thinks about it for a second.

Warehouse Manager: “Hm. I’m sure we have a few.”

He gets up, and I follow him into the warehouse. I explain why I’m looking for a lighter and he nods. We go over to the far wall where there are several cabinets and shelves with equipment, supplies, and safety items. One of the safety cabinets is bright yellow and reads, “INFLAMMABLE”, and there are other warning signs on it. He opens it. 

Inside, there are three shelves, all of them bowing under the weight of bags FULL of lighters. 

Me: “HOLY CRAP!”

The warehouse manager grabs a random lighter off the top, lights it, nods sagely, and hands it to me. I thank him profusely and head back upstairs. 

I relay that story to my supervisor as I hand her the lighter. 

Supervisor: “Well… if ever there’s a fire, we know who to blame first!”