I was serving a customer at the checkout. I gave her her total.

Customer: “Oh, just a second. Let me find my wallet.”

She started digging in her purse and pulling out items. She casually whipped a vibrator out of her bag and put it on the counter so she could keep searching!

I overheard a coworker talking to a customer over the phone.

Coworker: “Well, when a Mommy Phone and a Daddy Phone love each other very much, they like to BlueTooth…”

When I was in fourth grade, we had to write a poem about a color. I did green, and the title was 50 Shades Of Green.

I didn’t know what 50 Shades Of Gray was, and I had just heard someone mention the title somewhere.

My mom had to write my teacher a letter explaining this.

A customer is checking out at my register and reads my name tag.

Customer: “[My Name]. You know what I think of when I hear that name? A girl riding bareback on a horse. Naked.”

I respond before I can stop myself.

Me: “What the actual f***?!”

The customer looked shocked, stammered something or other, and then hurried out of the store.

I had a regular customer that was a guy in his late seventies. One time, he came in with a buddy. I waved and welcomed him in. He curled his finger at me to have me walk over to him. When I did, he said to his buddy:

Regular: “I told you I could make her come with one finger.”

I was in shock and honestly didn’t even know what to do but walk away from him. I never again acknowledged his existence when he was in the store.