They Have Been Profiled

, , , , , , | Working | April 13, 2018

I am working for an IT service provider. We are currently replacing all of the PCs of a company of several dozen employees. The old PCs had 512-GB hard-drives; the new ones have 128-GB SSDs. Not much, but aside from the OS and some software, nothing is supposed to be stored on these PCs. All files, databases, and stuff are stored on servers and accessed via shares or terminal connections. In order for us to not have to configure each user profile on the new PCs, and for them to be able to work on other PCs if necessary, their user profiles and everything in them are being synchronized with the servers and downloaded automatically on first login of that user at a PC.

I’m currently installing the new PC for a certain employee. The moment I we try to login with his account, I get an error message, basically stating that the PC could not download the profile stored on the server onto the PC, for whatever reason. I go through a number of troubleshoots, none of which are effective.

I then decide to simply create a new account for him, which works like a charm. However, when I have some waiting time later, I decide to check out his old account, if only to make sure the problem would not occur on other accounts, too.

After checking a few things, I decide to copy the profile to have a backup. My eyes widen as I see that the profile is over 250GB in size, when it should only be a few MB. Way too large for the SSD, of course, which is the reason why it was unable to download. Using a tool, I am able to display all the files in the profile directory, as well as their sizes. What do I discover? The employee has collected hundreds of pictures and videos and stored them locally on his PC, obviously not realizing that they would be synchronized with the server. Almost 250GB of porn, some of it the more disturbing variety.

I am told that the employee will not be returning to his office.

Learning A Language Can Blow You Away

, , , , | Learning | April 3, 2018

(I’m in Spanish class, and my teacher is having us form words into grammatically correct Spanish sentences.)

Teacher: *pointing to some words with a picture of a girl blowing bubbles with a bubble wand* “This sentence should translate to, ‘She blows them.'”

The Language Of Romance

, , , , , | Learning | April 2, 2018

When I was in high school Spanish class, we had progress sheets that we would mark every day. They used one- and two-letter codes, depending on what we had done that day: “ME” (“mucho esfuerzo,” much effort) for going above and beyond in class; “V” (“voluntario,” volunteer) for volunteering, A (“ausente,” absent) if we weren’t in class that day, and PP (“poca participacion,” little participation) for doing poorly in class. The word for, “give yourself,” in Spanish is “date,” (pronounced “DAH-tay”), so the teacher would say “Date [Mark]” to students who had earned a certain mark.

He told us of one time when he wrote the phrase out on the board in order to tell a student to give themselves an “ME” mark. When he realized he’d written, “DATE ME,” on the board, both he and the student were embarrassed. At least they got a good laugh out of it.

The Ugly Face Of Easter

, , , , , , , | Right | March 31, 2018

(We have one of our many unusual customers in doing Easter shopping. She comes back the next day to get a price adjustment.)

Customer: “Oh, thanks. I hope you have a great Easter!”

(We wish her a happy Easter, and as she’s walking away she gives my manager who helped her a huge grin.)

Customer: “I hope the Easter Bunny sits on your face!”

(This was said brightly, with no hint of any alternate meaning or malice, and left us both standing there stunned for several moments. It was one of the strangest things I have ever heard a customer say.)

The Day Has Hit Rock Bottom

, , , | Working | March 30, 2018

(I volunteer some time at an op shop in my hometown, and I work with a great group of people. I do a range of tasks while working there; the duties on this particular day are focused on tagging clothes so we can get them priced and out on the shop floor. I’ve been working on tagging what we label “bottoms” for ladies: skirts, shorts, pants, and so on. After a while, I wind up working on the register, but since business is slow this day, I decide to get some more stock sorted. I finish a few minor items before calling out to the manager and a couple of fellow volunteers, who all happen to be female. I proceed to create this little gem because my brain moves faster than my mouth.)

Me: “Can I pinch…” *brief mental hiccup* “…what I was working on earlier? The ladies’ bottoms?” *brief pause* “OH, MY GOD, THAT CAME OUT WRONG!”

Manager: *thinks for a minute then starts laughing, as do the others*

(I deserved the good-natured ribbing, but we all knew no harm was meant.)

Page 2/4112345...Last
« Previous
Next »