(My fiancée is currently working late shifts, so he is in bed when I leave for work in the morning. I usually give him a kiss goodbye, but I have a minute spare, so I climb into bed to give him a cuddle over the covers.)
Fiancée: “Are you naked?”
Me: “No, I’m just about to leave for work; why would I be naked?”
Fiancée: “I don’t know; I can always hope.”
Me: “What would you do?”
Fiancée: “I don’t know. Things.”
(My boyfriend and I are in bed at night, binge watching a TV series. We live with his father, so walking around the house in a state of undress is a no-go for me. I suddenly remember I bought grapes, which are my boyfriend’s favourite fruit.)
Me: “I bought grapes, by the way. They’re in the fridge.”
Boyfriend: “Really?!” *looks at me, hinting for me to go get them*
Me: “Now? Ugh, fine. I’ll have to find some PJs. I’m in my underwear here!”
Boyfriend: *flips the duvet cover off himself dramatically and points to his own boxer shorts* “What’s THIS?!”
(At this point he looks down and realises the button on his fly has come loose, and everything is on display. We both crack up laughing.)
Boyfriend: *in a tone of bewilderment* “What is this? I just found it!”
This story is part of the Underwear roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
23 Weird And Funny Stories About The Strangest Customers Ever
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Hopping online one day, I notice I have a message with an attachment, and open it. What is enclosed is adult imagery. This alone catches me off guard, enough to stop and wonder what is going on.
That’s when my mother, who is on the phone with my grandmother, looks at my computer and shouts, “ARE YOU LOOKING AT P*RN?!”
Instantly I can hear my grandmother laughing through the speaker, and I have to explain the situation. After that my mother explains everything to my grandmother, who can’t stop laughing.
(My roommates and I are hanging out. One goes to the kitchen and opens the fridge. There is a small crash.)
Roomie #1: “Who left an open soda on top of the fridge door?!”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Roomie #2: “It wasn’t me.”
Roomie #3: “It was probably [Roomie #4].”
Roomie #1: “It better not have been [Roomie #4]!”
Me: “I’m sure it’s not intentional. Somebody probably just got distracted.”
Roomie #1: “Yeah, well, they just got distracted ALL OVER MY PANTS!”
Roomies #2-#4: *burst out laughing*
Me: “Phrasing!”
Roomie #1: “Now I’m all sticky!”
Roomie #2: *literally falls off of the sofa*
(I am working self-checkout at the time of this order. An older gentleman, probably around his early 80s, is having difficulty putting the cash into the bill slot, so I walk over to help him.)
Me: “Hello, sir, did you need any help with that?”
Customer: “Yes, I just can’t figure out where to put my money.”
(I hold my hand out for the money and put it in for him. The machines take the money very quickly, so I make a seemingly innocent comment as joke.)
Me: “Well, that certainly sucked it back very quickly, didn’t it?”
Customer: “Yeah, just like my wife!”
(I didn’t know what to say, so I just told him to have a good day and walked back to my till.)
