Dear readers,
Customer service employees usually have to maintain professional composure, smiling and polite, never seemingly bothered by grumpy and overbearing customers. Sometimes, though, the customer can say or do something so profoundly unacceptable, that a response is required, and when the perfect one-liner or comeback presents itself, it would be a crime not to say it!
Here are 23 stories from our archives about the perfect zingers to put those customers back in their place!
When Life Presents A Fork, Choose The Right Way – When the customer demands free stuff, remind them exactly what they’re already getting.
Not A Believer – The customer gets out exactly what they put in.
Who’s Got The Power Now, Part 2 – If you work in a call center and don’t get daily death threats are you even trying?
(more…)
Dear readers,
Today is Drive-Thru day! Those inconceivably convenient constructions that are plugged into fast-food restaurants, pharmacies, banks, coffee shops, and even funeral homes! Sadly, with extra convenience comes extra entitlement from some customers who can’t handle waiting for more than a few seconds.
In solidarity with drive-thru staff the world over, here are 23 stories about customers who we wished had carried on driving.
Nonsensical Hypotheticals – When the drive-thru is so convenient the customer wants you to do everything for them.
Drive-Thru Virgin – Even first-time users of drive-thrus shouldn’t possibly be this dumb.
Enigmatic Espresso – They want Schrödinger’s Coffee, which is both everything and nothing at the same time.
(more…)
Dear readers,
Today is Gorgeous Grandma Day! In these crazy times we need to remember our elderly and more vulnerable relatives, so it’s only fitting then that a day exists to honor our gorgeous grannies!
We’ve rounded up 23 amazing stories about grandmas; some are hilarious, some are shocking, and we’re pretty sure the last one will make you cry. Either way, we hope you enjoy, and if you have a cool grandma give her a call when you’re done!
We All Have A Dream – When your grandparents marched with Martin Luther King. Jr… you listen!
Take A Holiday Chill Pill – Grandma always has the best medication.
Slithering Into The Wrong House – How Grandma proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that she’s a Slytherin.
(more…)
Dear readers,
We have plenty of bad customers on this site, from the entitled to the ignorant. But there exists a sub-set of retail creature prowling the aisles that should not be overlooked: the weird.
These are the customers who believe in every conspiracy theory, think that supernatural forces are stopping them from choosing the perfect carrot, or insist on wearing furry costumes before they can possibly shop. The following 23 stories have been selected from our Twilight Zone of strange and bizarre customers that you’re never going to forget.
Pray She Doesn’t Use Hemorrhoid Cream – Let’s start with a just a taste of the weirdness to come!
Who Is The Dumbest Of Them All – Weird is in the eye of the beholder.
Stupidity Comes In Different Wavelengths – My name is Luna and I’m a lifeguard.
(more…)
Dear readers,
Today is Junk Food Day! We know it’s not good for you, and you should only eat it in moderation, but we can’t deny that it’s delicious! Junk Food Day is a worldwide “cheat” day where you don’t have to feel guilty indulging in your guilty culinary pleasures, be it burgers, donuts, bacon, or… in the case of one specific example represented by the 23 stories listed below – souls.
Diet starts tomorrow! For now, settle down with a greasy plate, and enjoy our calorific roundup!
That Comment Contains Many Holes – If only this were true… 🍩
A Nugget Of Truth Can Get You In Trouble – Chicken nuggets so good they’re worth going to jail for.
Too Much Food, Not Enough Thought – If people like more pasta than salad, then let them enjoy it!
(more…)
