Taxes Roundup 2019

| Right | April 15, 2019

Today is the day when most Americans need to have their income taxes filed.  (Folks in Maine and Massachusetts get two extra days.)

It’s an annual ritual and it brings out tales of suffering folks trying to navigate crazy taxpayers and frustrated taxpayers trying to get the right forms filed… 1040? 1040EZ?  1040MOUSE?  It’s all so confusing!

Here are some favorite stories about dealing with the US income tax system!


The Ocarina Of Crime — Do not try to scam the experts if you want to keep your eardrums.

What’s A Few Years Hard Labor, Anyway? — Nobody wants to tell them, friend.

Too Taxing On That Brain — It’s a good thing he went to a pro because math is not his field!

Time To Cash Out Early — This is a sure way to get into deep trouble with the tax agencies.

Taxing Taxing — Getting your tax refund should not be this hard!

IRS = Irate Rambling Scammers — Remember that the IRS will never call you to talk about your return or say that you ‘owe’ money.

Taxing Taxes, Part 2 — Dealing with out-of-state taxes can be hard, but this is ridiculous!

No Returns On The Return — The professionals are professionals for a reason.

Making Tax Taxing — Hey, that form can be confusing the first time you deal with it!

A Product of Fraudulent Taxes — This is not how to fix your employment problems.

A Taxing Conversation, Part 2 — Sounds like Financial Hokey Pokey.


How is your tax day going? Did you get your forms filed early, or are you going for that last minute push?  Tell us your most frustrating or whacky income tax story!

Are you not an American? Tell us about how income tax works in your country, and tales of the tales of mayhem it can bring!


Unfiltered: Best Of – January to March 2019

| Friendly Healthy Hopeless Learning Legal Related Right Romantic Working | April 10, 2019

Dear readers, some of you may be aware of the Unfiltered category here at Not Always Right. We get a lot (a lot) of submissions from you fine folk, and sadly, not every story can make it to our main page. But we recognize the effort and passion that goes into sending us a retelling of an interesting or outrageous event, and so we give a home to every submission that doesn’t make the main feed in Unfiltered.

However, the editors, being only human (on the surface) make mistakes, and sometimes a submission might have been unfairly relegated to the Unfiltered section. Therefore, we’ve taken the ten highest-voted Unfiltered stories from the last three months and showcased them here for your perusal. We’d like you to vote which is the best of the bunch! The winning story will then be edited, titled, and upgraded to the main page, all chosen by you!

And remember, as the name implies, these stories are presented to you as they are to us, raw and unedited, with all the grammatical errors and curse words left in, so tread carefully!


Story #1:

Grocery Store, Minnesota, USA

While doing our weekly grocery shopping it begins to storm outside, the kind of thunderstorm that will soak you to the bone in a matter of seconds. Once my wife, my 2 children, and I are done checking out we stop at the front door to decide if we want to wait for the rain to stop. After checking the weather we decide that it is going to last a while, so I just decide to suck it up and go out to get the car, leaving my wife and kids to wait for me to pull up. I of course get soaked to the bone on my way out. Once I get to the entrance I start loading my kids in the car when the store manager approaches us. I assume she is going to tell me I can’t park there, but instead she proceeds to help me load my groceries into the trunk, along with about 4 other employees all of them getting soaked as well. I have never had that kind of service before and it’s nice to know that there are still people out there willing to help their customers even if it doesn’t help their bottom line.


Story #2:

Military, Sri Lanka

In 1936 my great-grandfather left the Royal Navy with the rank of Chief Petty Officer after 22 years service.  He then joined the Admiralty as a Naval Paymaster.  During the war he was posted to Ceylon (now Sri Lanka).  Much to his chagrin, the authorities insisted that he be given a formal rank and appointed him Lieutenant-Commander. Although he had a uniform, he swore that he would never wear it.

One day a U.S. Sub-Lieutenant needed some information from him and demanded that he presented it to him on board his vessel the following morning.  My great-grandfather went home and asked his wife to lay out his dress uniform.
“But Robert, you said you would never wear it.”
“Olive, tomorrow I am making an exception.”

The following morning he arrived at the U.S. vessel, in uniform, and was piped aboard.  The vessel`s captain, being massively out-ranked by a Naval Lieutenant-Commander, asked very respectfully what he wanted.  My great-grandfather said that Mr ***** had demanded that he bring this information to him and therefore he was doing so.

One hopes that the U.S. Sub-Lieutenant was never again quite so high-handed with a `civilian` worker and also that he recovered from the chewing-out that he will have received from his captain.


Story #3:

Bar, Kentucky, USA

It’s happy hour at the bar I work at, we’re serving a regular we know well for being confrontational normally, and even worse when he gets drunk, but he never actually goes so far as to swing or do anything to incite something past words so we haven’t seen fit to kick him out, we also get people from a nearby military base pretty often, so you’d have to be an idiot to seriously pick a fight. I’m working the bar and see the regular is nearing his point and has gone to pick on someone who, to my horror, is an obvious amputee I haven’t seen before.

Regular: “Come on stumpy, come at me, I’ll even give you the first swing! Or are you gonna show me you’re half the man you used to be!”

The new guy grunts. Obviously annoyed but not wanting trouble he continues to ignore him, then the regular throws his drink in his face.

Regular: “Hey, what’s that on your finger, a wedding band? You even got the d*** to please her anymore? Tell ya what, you give me your address and I’ll go-”

Before anyone can react, the regular is on the floor bleeding from his mouth unconscious, the new guy wipes off his knuckles, sits down like nothing ever happened and goes back to his drink. At this point the soldiers in the bar are going OORAH, when one of them turns to me.

Other regular: “Guy over there is the toughest damn soldier I’ve met, lost his arm to a bomb and still managed to kill the guys that attacked his squad before getting rescued.”

I see the new guy pull out a piece of paper, write something on it, and slip it into the regular’s pocket. When the regular came to it was in the back of an ambulance. The regular was banned for attacking both a veteran and a disabled person as well as jailed for assault. And as for what was written on the note? According to the Vet it was; “What does it say about you that I could still kick your ass with one arm and one punch?”


Story #4:

Coffee Shop, USA

(This is a small, locally owned coffee shop. A customer comes in with a couple of very energetic children who are excitedly jabbering back and forth to each other in a normal inside voice. The customer, their father and a regular, orders his drinks, pays and goes to wait with them, joining in their silly word game. A minute later another customer comes up to the bar to get their drink.)

Customer: “You need to kick those noisy brats out of here.”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t kick them out for talking. They’re really not being that loud.”
Customer: “And their father, encouraging his kids to talk in public. Disgraceful. You should ban him for that.”
Me: “Ma’am we don’t ban people for entertaining their kids and we don’t kick kids out for talking in a normal tone of voice.”
Customer: (Yelling at me) “Listen you little b****, I’m the owner’s wife and I’m telling you to ban them right f******* now!”
Me: “I can’t…”
Customer: “Don’t you dare open your f****** mouth to argue with me you b***! I’ll have your a** fired.”

(I flinch at the tirade and find myself unable to respond. At this point the father comes up behind her.)

Father: “[My name], get yourself a drink on me and go on break. I’ll handle this. If your boss says anything just say I’ll explain.”

(He turns to the customer as I nod dumbly and turn to make myself a drink.)

Father: “First of all, you don’t treat other human beings like that. If you had any decency I wouldn’t have to tell you that. Second, my kids are being much better behaved than you are. Third, you weren’t even at the owner’s wedding. I was.”

Customer: (Smugly as if calling a bluff) “If you were at the wedding where were you sitting?”

Father: “I was standing right next to her.”

(The customer keeps smiling smugly for a few seconds before realization hits her like a sledgehammer. Her smile falters then she pales visibly and runs from the store. The owner’s husband covered for me for about 10 minutes while I took a break. When I came back there was a $50 bill in the tip jar. He’d never admit to it, but I suspect he put it in there.)


Story #5:

Restaurant, Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA

(I work at a grill. We don’t really have a vegetarian menu so this customer ordered a grilled cheese. A minute after I bring out their food she flags me down.)

Vegetarian: “I hate to be a bother but there’s um, something in my sandwich.” She shows me: a spider is stuck in the cheese. I’m freaking out, sure we’re going to have a bunch of unhappy customers.

The guy from the table next to hers tries to lean over and see it. He asks “What’s in it?”‘

Vegetarian: “Some kind of meat. I’m a vegetarian. I really hate to ask but could I please have a new one?”

Me: “Of course, I am so sorry. I’ll get that to you right away.” I rush the plate back to the kitchen and show the chef. He goes red and starts yelling at his staff. My manager runs over and demands to know what’s happening. I tell him.

Manager: “Who else saw? We can’t afford to comp more than three..”

Me: “Just her table. She told the other tables it was meat.”

My manager was so grateful he sent over an entire dessert platter and comped their meal. When I told her table their food free they left a $100 tip.

Best table I’ve ever had!


Story #6:

Beach, Florida, USA

(I go to visit my 24-year-old best friend in Florida, because her boyfriend called me and told me he was going to propose. After he does so, offers her a ring, she takes it, hugs him, and then studies the ring.)

Her; what is this? *points to a small diamond on the band, that is reasonably sized*
Him; it’s a diamond! *grins*
Her; right. That’s a diamond… ha!
Him; babe, that ring cost $500!
Her; that’s not enough!
Him; what?!

She takes off the ring, and throws it into the sand, then stomps off. Her boyfriend looks at me and his friends who are standing with me, avoiding her family’s gaze. We go over to him, as her family follows him, and hug him. We hung out for the rest of my vacation, and my best friend got really angry with him. I ended up telling her to shut the f*** up, and just leave him alone, if she wanted to be such a greedy b****. Her boyfriend broke up with her then, and after a few months, visited me where I live, and we went out on a few dates. It didn’t work out, but we’re still good friends, and he did find a wife who loves her “small, cheap a** ring!” And finds the original proposal both disgusting and hilarious.


Story #7:

Fast Food, Virginia, USA

I worked nights during the week and long day shifts on the weekends at a popular burger place, known for their thick burgers. I have been on the clock for two hours when I hear yelling. It’s slow so I had to the back where the manager is yelling at the cooks. It turns out the young fools were bored and decided to play with the hose. They not only broke the sprayer but have torn the hose apart.

Just standing there looking at this fifteen-foot hose, I prayed I wouldn’t need it to clean the bathrooms. The connection to the sprayer was just hanging like a slinky and the sprayer was broken in two. One cook had the hose with the slinky, while the other cook had the handle part of the sprayer in his hand. Both boys were standing there soaked. The back half of the restaurant was soaked. Guess who had to clean up the dry stock and floors, ME. The fools had to clean the kitchen and freezer, it was right next door to where the hook up for the hose was located.

So the night continues, though the two bone heads now try to joke with me about cleaning the bathrooms, which I am dreading. I check the bathrooms. Woman’s is good, just some wiping down and sweeping but the men’s. There is one stall in there… just one… the rest is urinals. Will at some point a cherry bomb or a firecracker had been put in the toilet when it was full of SHIT. I just could not see someone pooping all over that stall because the ceiling and top part was also covered. This stall was ceiling to floor enclosed so a very small space with poop on every surface. Plus it was the farthest room from the front. I really needed that hose. Oh did I forget to say it was all dry and smelled.

No one complained about it and I had no clue when it happened. So I turned around walked right past the fools, who were snickering and right to the manager. I just told her to check out the men’s. She looked at me then the fools and went to see why I was near tears. I really was because I had no clue how to clean it or if I had time. Before she even returned I decided I wasn’t going to. The fools were back joking me and saying how I would be here all night. When did they learn I can’t say I just had a sinking feeling they had a hand in it.

My manager that night was the best, also she was pregnant. When she came back she was pissed. I mean fuming. She just watched them act a fool as she reached over to grab the buckets and brushes we kept near the hose before whistling.

“Since you think it is so funny, why don’t you go look yourself!” She said to them very calmly. They turned toward the kitchen to get back to work only for her to step in their paths. “Oh no. Since you boys broke the hose you are cleaning the men’s bathroom. Like you told (my name) it will take all night.” At that she thrusted the buckets and brushes into their hands and escorted them to the men’s. Her last parting words before turning the corner, “Start with the ceiling as that shit is going to be the hardest place to clean!”

I couldn’t believe what was happening. The cooks never cleaned the bathrooms because they had to stay with the food. As will as the cross contamination that could occur.

That night I learned how to make food and that my manager was a firm believer in Karma. They stayed in the bathrooms for the rest of the night. As I was leaving they were outside the men’s gagging and one of them had a streak down his back. His friend was trying to wipe it off with toilet paper. It was hilarious.

They never joked me about cleaning or ever touched the hose again. I stayed for another few years before I found a better job.


Story #8:

Call Center, Oregon, USA

(I work in a call center in the comments/suggestions department. This is my first call of the day.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [company] comments and suggestions, this is [my name] speaking, how can I be of service today?”

Customer: “Hi, [my name], I want to start by telling you that I am in an extremely bad mood and that I realize that this is not your fault personally; I am just mad at [company], so if I am rude or aggressive in any way, I apologize.”

(The customer was actually the nicest call I had all day. I took down her complaint and flagged it as priority so that somebody would get to it quickly because she tried very hard not to yell at me for the company’s mistakes.)


Story #9:

Grocery Store, Florida, USA

[Several months back we started selling Star Wars themed Jell-O molds and very few of them sold, so our manager gave them to us cashiers to give away to customers.  A few hours had gone by and I had quite honestly forgotten about them when a woman walked up to my register with her son, who started looking at the coloring books we have on display and I notice him looking at a Star Wars one.]

Me: (leans in a bit close, lowering my voice) Does your son like Star Wars?
Woman: Oh my gosh you have no idea!  I asked if he wanted to go to the water park today and he said he’d rather sit at home and read the books I got him!

[I then mention the molds and ask if she would like one for him, and she immediately accepts.

Woman: Hey, [boy’s name], this nice lady has something for you!  Like a present!
Boy: (puts down the book and walks over) But mom it’s not my birthday!

[I quickly finish the transaction and excuse myself to grab the mold from the register where they were stored.  I return with it behind my back and crouch down a bit so I’m closer to his height.]

Me: So, your mom told me you like Star Wars?
Boy: (smiles and nods) Yeah, I love it!
Me: (pulls the mold out from behind my back and hands it to him) This is for you!

[The boy’s eyes lit up as he looked at the characters and he got the biggest grin on his face.  He gave me the most sincere ‘Thank you!’ I have ever heard in my life and skipped off with his mom.  I’m still grinning about it.]


Story #10:

Clothing Store, France

(We’re in year 2000 or close. As a teenager, I’m slim and “nicely built” (or so I heard), yet I am VERY modest, especially on the chest area, and my family know it and respect it. I don’t mind girls who wear low-cut clothes, I think it’s really great if they enjoy it and I HATE slut-shaming, yet I’d rather get slapped or punched than showing the slightest part of my “parts”. Up to now most girls and women used to wear swimmer one-pieces on the beach, and I loved it. However, bikinis are coming back into fashion and my mom wants to buy me one of those. I accept, thinking she’ll find me a modestly cut two-pieces or anything that’ll cover everything I want to cover. She makes me try a dozen bikinis on. All of them are too low-cut for my tastes, and the shop assistant (he’s male) is staring.)

Me: “Mom, I don’t feel good in any of those.”

Shop assistant: “Are you sure? Because you look great in ALL of those!”

Me: “I don’t feel good. I’d like to try something more modest, please.”

(The shop assistant comes back with a swimsuit that is even more low-cut than the previous one. I’m running out of patience).

Me: “I’d like to try a one-piece on!”

Mom: “But you look so much better in a bikini!

Me: “Mom, EVERYONE looks good in one-pieces! They hide all the flaws!”

Shop assistant: “Which flaws? Your mom’s right, you have a bikini body!”

Me: “It’s MY body and I want to try a one-piece. I just prefer stuff I can swim with without ever losing the straps.”

Mom: “Try this one on before.”

(I try it. It’s still too low-cut for my tastes.)

Me: “I’d prefer a one-piece.”

Shop assistant: “One-pieces are for grandmothers. Is that what you want to do, looking like a granny? That would be a waste!”

Me: “I’d like something that’s not THAT low-cut, please.”

Shop assistant: “Why? You have beautiful breasts.”

(He’s staring at my cleavage and I’m just a girl. I feel dirty. To all shop assistants who read this, if a customer ever tells you she wants something more modest, just give her something more modest. Don’t make her try sexy things on “for her own good” if she doesn’t want to, especially if she’s a teenager. Prude-shaming is just as wrong as slut-shaming.)


Please select which Unfiltered story is the best!

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Monthly Roundup: March 2019

| Friendly Healthy Hopeless Learning Legal Related Right Romantic Working | April 8, 2019

It’s time for the March roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in March deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the 855 stories we posted in the month, we’ve singled out twelve.

If there are any stories from the last month you feel we should have included, please let us know in the comments!

Don’t forget to vote for your favorite stories in the poll below! Note: You can choose up to three*. The winner of the previous roundup poll was Taking Inventory: I’m Afraid I Can’t Let You Do That, Dave from the Legal category!


Retail Access Memory – Sadly these days, politeness does not compute.

I’ll Have A Black Hole Pizza With A Side Of Nothing – We must say this black hole has impeccable taste!

Thinking With Your Brain By Landing On Your Butt – Diffusing a situation level 99!

Can’t Finnish What She Started – Why hello! My name is Jaakko Heikkinen!

Doing A Disservice To Community Service – Failure to do the work is your problem to work on.

Can’t Help Falling Out Of Love With That Song – What’s worse than a bridezilla? Why the mother of the groom of course!

Customers Cooperating Over Carbon And Copies? Cool! – Proof that not every customer is a carbon-copy a**-hole.

Get Someone That Nose What They’re Doing – Cry me a bloody river!

The Contrarian Librarian: The Childhood Years – When bad behavior is normalized then good behavior truly stands out.

Booked Yourself Into An Impossible Situation – See what happens when screaming entitled adult-toddlers don’t get their own way.

Should Have Captured Her Reaction On Your Phone – These darn kids and their convenient technologies!

Speaking Your Private Parts – You know you’ve grown up when the reproductive system stops being funny and starts being terrifying.


Please choose your favorite story of the month!

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*Not Always Hopeless stories are not included in the poll. This is because often they are so lovely they win by default. 

We’ve decided to separate our favorite ‘Hopeless’ story of the month from the section above, since it’s not part of the poll:

Hail To The Bus DriverSadly all good things must come to an end.

All About Cats Roundup

| Right | March 25, 2019


Just look at that image.  Our Senior Editor, who hates cats, allowed this roundup under protest. Everyone boo the Senior Editor.

The rest of the editors adore cats.  We have our own tales of cats past and present, and we love the cat stories on NotAlwaysRight.

Here’s a sampling of some of our favorite NAR cat tails!  Erm, tales…


Looks Like This Is Your Cat Calling — Two adopted cats aren’t quite what they seemed to be.

My Pet Halloween Project — This is the real reason why you can’t adopt black cats in October.

Kitteh Sez STFU — Remember LOLCats? This person sure does…

A Lack Of Common Scents — “…and we’ll name him Stripey!”

A Victim Of Fur-Ball Abuse — Don’t worry. There’s no real abuse here, just *hand wave* stupidity.

You’ve Got To Be Kitten Me — Even the cat can’t figure out what that person is going on about.

A Very Purr-sonable Cat — Poor Corky. So misunderstood… and misidentified.

Models Are Always Catty — Ma’am, this isn’t a factory showroom.

Bring The Whole Animal House With You — This is a really smart idea!

It’s The Stray Details That Matter — A heartwarming story of a cat and her person being reunited.  It’s ok, we understand that someone is cutting onions nearby.


(Don’t worry, we love dogs and other animals, too! Stay tuned this summer for a roundup of our favorite dog stories and a future roundup of other animal stories.)


Do you have a favorite NotAlwaysRight story about cats? Do you have a story of your own furry feline?  Tell us all about your favorite kitty in the comments below, or submit it to us here!

Saint Patrick’s Day Roundup 2019

| Right | March 17, 2019

Saint Patrick was the patron saint of Ireland. The day has become celebrated by all and is associated with fun and beer and shamrocks, which are supposed to represent good luck.

Here are some of our favorite stories about luck, good and bad.  We hope you only have good luck this Saint Patrick’s Day.  Enjoy!


The Luck Of The Irish — Even when you’re not Irish, you’re Irish?

The Matrix Rejected — There are superstitions, and then…

Lady Bug Luck — When luck turns into an infestation.

Worst Of Luck To You — Maybe good luck is a jinx?

BLT, Better Luck Tomorrow — Seems to be a new definition of BLT.

As-Sale-ing Your Manager — Bad luck brings a good sale!

From Lucifer To Lucky — A quick change of numbers means a quick change of luck?

Incoming Comments About Outgoings — What some think is luck can actually be hard work.

Unlucky For Some — Different cultures, different unlucky numbers.

Pulling Your Leg — Now that’s bad luck!

The Customer Is Fruit Loops — This customer is magically delicious!


Has luck been good or bad in your life? Do you have any good stories about your luck?  Tell your tales in the comments below, or send it to us here!


NB: An earlier version of this roundup said that shamrocks are four-leaf clovers. As our astute readers mentioned, they are three-leaf clovers. The editors of NAR regret our error.