Weekend Roundup: Kids Say The Awesomest Things

| Not Always Right Archives | Right | March 4, 2012

Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Right archives.

Kids Say The Awesomest Things! This week, we share five stories that show that kids are not only our best customers, but can be an employee’s best friend!

  1. Ah, Children:
    A misbehaving customer gets put in the time-out corner…by a toddler.
  2. They Swim Where The Sun Doesn’t Shine:
    When Blade meets The Little Mermaid, awesome ensues.
  3. Making A Hug(e) Difference:
    Every store needs a kid like this…seriously, can Not Always Right adopt this boy?
  4. Vocabulary, Meet Veracity:
    Proof that kids hear everything parents say.
  5. They Grow Up Too Fast:
    When the rubber hits the road, Ultimate Driving Machines come in all sizes.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

| Not Always Related Archives | Related | March 4, 2012

Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Related archives.

Kids Saw The Darndest Things! This week, we share five stories where kids surprise us with their vocabulary and their veracity!

  1. Hymn No. 2:
    There’s nothing wrong with telling mom about your bathroom activities…except when it’s in front of the entire church.
  2. Literally Scream For Ice Cream:
    There’s learning vocabulary, and then there’s massacring it.
  3. Tainted Love:
    Today, I learned that forgiveness comes before foul smelling messes.
  4. Like Son, Like Father:
    And we wonder where he gets his mouth from…
  5. Kids Love Kisses, Cuddles, And Face-Huggers:
    Can you spell i-n-a-p-p-r-o-p-r-i-a-t-e?

Roundup: Another 5 Funny (But Not So Romantic) Things Lovers Say To Each Other

| Not Always Romantic | Romantic | February 26, 2012

Lovers’ conversations can be anything but loving, Part 2! Continuing our previous roundup, here are another 5 funny—but not so romantic things that lovers have said to each other, from actual Not Always Romantic submissions (click on the link to read the full story!).

  1. A newlywed husband, explaining to his upset wife why he took off immediately after the wedding ceremony:
    “I had to update my Facebook relationship status.”

  2. A notoriously unromantic girlfriend, speaking to her boyfriend while they are in the car together.
    “I truly feel like you are the other half of me, the one that makes my world go round. The one that I want to see first thing in the morning, and all that crap.”

  3. A husband, writing to his wife on an anniversary card:
    “My internal organs are being crushed by my heart, because it is so full of love for you.”

  4. A boyfriend, spontaneously expressing his love to his girlfriend while watching TV in bed:
    *burping* “I…LOVE…YOU.”

  5. A girlfriend, joking with her boyfriend while watching TV in bed:
    Girlfriend: “When you’re asleep in the middle of the night, I should roll over and fart on you!”

Weekend Roundup: Tech Support Classics

, | Not Always Right Archives | Right | February 26, 2012

Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Right archives.

Tech Support Classics! This week, we share five stories that reveal the trials, tribulations, and terrors that technical support employees endure daily.

  1. DE TING, DE TING!!!:
    Problem: Video is blue and blue on “the thing.” You know…DE TING!!!
  2. Accountants And Their Blue Tape:
    That’s right, kids! You too can click “Next” to discover the not-so-savory nether regions of your hard drive!
  3. Quantity Does Not Equal Quality:
    When in doubt, just keep inserting.
  4. Guardian Of The Tubes And Protector Of The Google:
    I CAN HAZ LORD LOLCATS NAO!
  5. His Repair Method Doesn’t Hold Water:
    For this customer, DIY stands for “Drown It Yourself.”

Weekend Roundup: Don’t Mess With Employees

| Not Always Right Archives | Right | February 19, 2012

Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Right archives.

Don’t Mess With Employees! This week, we feature five stories that teach misbehaving customers the consequences of messing with employees.

  1. In Real Hot Sauce Now:
    A young teenage employee decides her dignity is worth more than £3.71 and dealing with a cowardly manager.
  2. A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’:
    A customer tries to rough up an employee, but ends up getting roughed up by the manager instead.
  3. Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists:
    Teenage robber, meet Doug. Doug is our new pharmacy tech. Doug is also built like a fridge.
  4. Who’s Got The Power Now:
    Tech support is happy to support your technology. Supporting your potty mouth, not so much.
  5. Your Prank Got Spanked:
    A prank caller picks the wrong, well-armed store to call.
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