A Tech Support Retort

, , , , | Right | October 31, 2019

(I’m working as a junior accountant at an ISP which also offers a free fax-to-email service to customers. Jerk It’s two hours past our working hours when the customer service line starts ringing, but I decide to answer it anyway.)

Me: “Hello, [Fax-To-Email Service], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m trying to fax some documents to a client of mine, but he says he hasn’t received them. I need these sent out ASAP.”

(I go through the usual troubleshooting steps. I can tell the customer is getting angrier with every question I ask, but I’m trying to help them out anyway.)

Me: “Okay, I’m terribly sorry, but I can’t help you at the moment, as you are trying to send this document to a foreign country fax machine. The reason could be a technical error on our side or a problem with the fax line from Germany. Unfortunately, our offices closed at 5:00 pm, so none of our technical experts are available at the moment, but if you give me your name and contact number I will call you back first thing in the morning and let you know what is the issue and how we can have those documents sent to your client.”

Customer:What? No, you don’t understand. I pay for this service—” *reminder: it’s a free service* “—and I need these documents sent like yesterday and it’s your job to help me send them now.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m really sorry but there’s nothing we can do right now, since there’s no one left in the office who could take a look at this problem. May I suggest trying to use a different number for your clients, just to rule out the possibility of a problem with their line?”

Customer: “NO! You are a fax company, you have a fax there, you send a fax to them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I cannot use the company fax to send out client documents.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know you can’t. You just answer calls and drink coffee all day, right?”

Me: “Actually, I’m a junior accountant and answering customer calls is the least of my priorities here, especially when it’s way past my working hours and I’m trying to finish something.”

Customer: “This is not how you treat a paying customer! I will call [local Customer Protection Authority] and complain about this! What’s your name? I will call your boss and tell them about their lazy employees who are being rude to their customers.”

Me: *calmly* “My name is [My Name], my manager’s name is [Manager]. If you prefer, you could take this issue straight to our CEO, [CEO]. They will both be here tomorrow at 9:00 am, like the rest of our employees. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: *silent for a few seconds* “NO!” *hangs up*

Me: “Hey, [Manager, who was anxiously waiting for the call to end so she could have a laugh at me], make sure you’re not late tomorrow morning; someone wants you to teach me a lesson.”

(Of course, we never heard from the customer ever again and I didn’t get into any trouble.)

1 Thumbs
411

Doesn’t Get The Closed Concept

, , | Right | January 15, 2019

(I work at an IT company that’s situated right above a very popular store in my area. There are thousands of customers daily, but the store is closed for two days for renovations. There are workers outside with power tools, and because the store has a glass front, you can see people inside picking up the floor and working in general. There are also large flags outside saying when the store will reopen. You can access the store through our door, but you need an access card to go in. A potential customer of the store walks up the stairs to our door while I’m outside on my break. He tries the door but it won’t open.)

Customer: “How do I get in the store?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the store is closed for the next couple of days.”

Customer: “Okay, but how do I get in?”

(I’m visibly confused.)

Me: “You can’t. They closed the store since they’re renovating. It wouldn’t even be safe, or sanitary, since they’re picking up the floor.”

(I point to the stack of tiles in front of the store.)

Customer: “Do you have an emergency exit or a fire escape at the back?”

Me: “Yes, of course. But you need an access card to open it.”

Customer: “Can I get to it?”

Me: “Technically, yes, but you have to be an employee or visitor to enter, and that door is only used for emergencies.”

Customer: “Well, then, how am I supposed to get in the store?”

Me: “You can’t.”

(He got visibly angry and stormed down the stairs. As I got up to go back to work, I saw him talking to one of the workers in front of the store. I wonder what they were talking about.)

1 Thumbs
497

Unfiltered Story #136304

, | Unfiltered | January 8, 2019

(I’m the customer in this story, sitting in the cafe, when I see two employees coming out of the Men’s bathroom, talking)

Employee #1: So what do you think he does in there?
Employee #2: I don’t know, but he’s so creepy, I don’t want to deal with him anymore.
(By this point, the two see me staring at them and come over. I’m a regular at this cafe, so they know me well.)
Me: What’s going on?
Employee #1: There’s this strange customer that always comes in and orders the same thing, a strawberry tea. After he leaves, we find the whole sink and the mirror in the bathroom covered in the red liquid.
Employee #2: I actually saw him going into the bathroom with his cup today.
Employee #1: Yeah, we’re pretty freaked out by this. The manager told us to be careful when he comes in.
(They later told me he confessed he was washing his hair with the tea because he thought it smelled good.)

Your Attitude Can’t Be Scanned At The Checkout

, , , , | Right | July 27, 2018

(It’s Friday evening before Easter and I’m checking out my groceries at a busy local supermarket. I’m a bit in a rush, but the cashier is very young and it looks like she’s in her first days of work. Some guy in his forties behind me taps his feet nervously and stares at her slow scanning. Of course, this doesn’t improve the scanning speed at all. After about five minutes or so:)

Impatient Customer: “GOD! Can you hurry up? It must be painful to be so stupid you can only be hired as a cashier.”

Me: “I agree she’s slow, but why do you think she’s stupid?”

Impatient Customer: “All she has to do is scan some labels; how smart do you think she has to be?”

(Visibly offended, the stressed cashier scans one of my products twice by mistake. She calls a supervisor to cancel the double-scan.)

Impatient Customer: *superior* “See? What did I tell you?”

Me: “You were right. I bet you can do it faster than she does.”

Impatient Customer: “You bet I can!”

(The supervisor arrives to cancel the double-scanned product. I approach him:)

Me: “Hello. Can you please get me a manager?”

Supervisor: “Good evening. I’m the shift supervisor; what seems to be the problem?”

Me: “Your employee here scans the products very slowly and the gentleman behind me is in a rush. He’s a lot smarter than your employee and much faster at scanning products. Since the line behind us is quite big, I was wondering if you can let him check out his own groceries to speed up the line.”

Cashier: “…”

Supervisor: “Excuse me?”

Impatient Customer: *turning red* “I didn’t…”

(Silence. I showed a massive grin to the smiling cashier, paid, and waved the smarta** good-bye. All I heard was a faint, “I’m sorry,” while pushing my cart to the parking lot.)

1 Thumbs
722

Not Speaking The Same Programming Language

, , , | Right | May 6, 2018

(My father repairs computers as a secondary job. A customer is asking him for help with his new computer.)

Customer: “I want some programs on my computer.”

Father: “Bring the PC and—”

Customer: “What?”

Father: “You have a screen, a box, a mouse, and a keyboard. Bring the box.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(He brought the box in which he received the PC. He even had some chains to keep the box closed, so that the programs wouldn’t fall out!)

1 Thumbs
434