Must Be One Big Jacket

, , , , , | Healthy Right | January 27, 2019

(I’ve just asked an elderly patient to remove his jacket so I can take his blood pressure.)

Patient: “Sure. I’ll take all my clothes off, if you want!”

This Patient Is Not A Breath Of Fresh Air

, , , , , | Healthy | June 18, 2018

(I work at a large, multi-specialty medical office. Access to the back office is restricted, so patients are guided to their rooms by me or by another nurse after they check in. After their appointment, there are signs showing the patients the way out, but unsurprisingly, many ignore them and get lost. My coworker finds a woman wandering the halls.)

Coworker: “Were you looking for the exit? Let me show you the way.”

Woman: “No, I… I’m here to see the pulmonologist.”

(It turns out the woman had never actually checked in, and had just followed another patient into the back office when they were called back! My coworkers and I wondered if she thought she was just going to stumble upon the pulmonologist waiting for her in one of the rooms!)

Unfiltered Story #100113

, , , | Unfiltered | November 14, 2017

(My coworker is calling a patient to go over preparation instructions for their colonoscopy. This involves listing foods they must avoid and foods they can eat on the required clear liquid diet before the procedure. She’s speaking with a non-native English speaker.)

Coworker #1: “You can have jello, clear broth, popsicles…*pause, then a funny look* ‘What’s popsicles?'”

(My other coworker starts cracking up at the look on her face.)

Coworker #1: *at a loss for words* “Uh…it’s…frozen ice!”

(Coworker #2 just about falls off her chair. We all tease her about ‘frozen ice’ for the rest of the day.)