The Root Cause

, , , , , | | Working | August 9, 2019

(I’m attempting to purchase two four-packs of root beer, along with a couple of other items.)

Cashier: “Can I see your ID?”

Me: “For what?”

Cashier: *looks at the root beer for a moment after scanning it, not realizing that “Check ID” did not appear on the register display* “I thought it was beer.”

Me: “Well, that’s no worse than when I was at another store and they asked for my ID when I bought chocolate-covered cashews.”

The Vendor Defender

, , , , , | Right | July 18, 2018

(I’m a vendor. I represent certain companies and the products they make. I am working with a manager in dairy with some juice our company makes. This occurs while we are standing and going over upcoming events. The manager is female, in store apparel; I am male, with my company logo all over me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir, where can I find [obscure item]?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I have no idea. This lady here—” *points to manager* “—knows everything about this area and can answer that for you.”

(After she directs the customer…)

Me: “While we are standing here, if everyone asks me questions and not you, you have to buy these displays.”

Manager: “You’re on!”

(Cue six people coming up to us in the span of five minutes –all different ages, both male and female. All of them come up to me. To my surprise, even the women immediately come to me.)

Manager: “THIS IS GARBAGE!”

Me: “Sign here, please!”

Don’t Waist Your Time On Him

, , , , , | Right | October 13, 2017

(A customer on his phone approaches me.)

Me: “Can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, but I’m afraid it might be unethical.”

Me: *slightly worried* “Well, what is it I can do for you today?”

Customer: *turns around and pulls down the waistband of his jeans* “So, my wife is next door getting me new pants, and I can’t remember what size I am. Would you mind taking a look at the tag?”