Turning You Into A Preposition

, , , , , | Learning | October 17, 2017

(It is the first day of school.)

Me: “Hey, where is the cafeteria at?”

Other Student: *snottily* “Never end a sentence with a preposition.”

Me: “Okay, then. Where’s the cafeteria at, b****?”

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Cheesecake Cheesed Off

, , , , , | Right | August 25, 2017

(I’ve just been called in for a closing shift on my day off and two shifts have passed since I was last in the building so I’m not quite up-to-date on exactly what I have left in the backroom. I’m on the sales-floor stocking yogurt when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Do you have any more of [Brand] in strawberry cheesecake?”

Me: “Hmm. Not in this load but I had two cases in the back yesterday morning. I’ll go see if they’re still there.”

(I hurry to the cooler in the backroom and check quickly for the two cases but they are gone. I return to the man and less than three minutes have passed.)

Me: “No, I’m sorry, sir. We must have sold them after I left last night.”

Customer: “All right, thanks for checking.”

(I return to stocking yogurts and find three cups of the flavor he wanted at the back of the shelf, shoved behind another flavor. He’s still nearby so I flag him down.)

Me: “Oh, sir, I found three of them at the back of the shelf!”

(Suddenly he snarls at me.)

Customer: “You little b****! You wasted my time!” *he turns on his heel and leaves without the yogurts, leaving me speechless*

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A Storm Of Protest

, , , , , | Working | June 14, 2017

(It is January of 2015, and at the time, my state is getting hit often with really bad snow storms. On this day, I have a late shift, 5:00 to 10:00 pm, and the weather report is warning of another severe storm that is going to start kicking up around the time I am going to be headed into work. I live quite a ways away from the store and have to take several winding, hilly roads to get there, so for my own safety, I decide that morning to call out.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. The weather is going to be really bad, and I don’t feel safe coming in for my shift tonight.”

Manager: *coldly* “[My Name], weather isn’t an excuse not to come into work. If it was, everyone would be calling out. I’ve got a business to run. You have to come in for your shift tonight.”

Me: *speechless*

(So I head into work a few hours later and as I’m driving, the snow starts falling. I’m beyond angry that I have to come in, especially with the manager confirming to my face that he cares more about money than he does his employees’ safety, but I suck it up and head to my register. As I’m setting up, my manager is leaving for home and he heads over to me.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], when you called, I hadn’t checked the weather yet. I didn’t know how bad it is gonna be.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I knew he was lying, as the storm and been common knowledge for almost a week at that point, so I just nodded and didn’t say anything else. It took me over an hour to drive home in the dark that night, with several inches of snow covering the roads and continuing to fall. There were hardly any customers anyway, thanks to the bad weather, and so work could have easily survived without me. He was an awful manager, so I was quite happy when he moved to another store a few months later.)

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Unfiltered Story #88987

, , | Unfiltered | May 31, 2017

A mother walks in with her 8-10 year-old son whom is wearing a superhero-like mask over his eyes. The mother asks for some pizza and is looking at the pastries while her son stares at the cookies.

Mother: (to son) Which do you want to bring?

Son: (jabbing finger into cookie display case) That one, that one, that one, that.

Mother: Which?

Son: (jabbing harder and bellowing at his mother now) THAT ONE, THAT ONE, THAT ONE, AND THAT ONE!

Mother: (fed up) Ok, I’m not getting you anything.

Son: (freaking out and still jabbing the glass with his finger) NO! I WANT THAT ONE, THAT, THAT, AND THAT!

Mother: Which ones?

Son: (just as loud and rude) THAT ONE, THAT ONE, THAT ONE, AND THAT ONE!

As the mother is repeatedly asking her son which cookies he wants, I have been watching him through the glass behind the display case and already have his cookies. My eyes are completely bugging out of my head. This is by far one of the rudest children I’ve seen in a while. I meet the mother at the counter and her son has gone to the door where there are chimes to let us know when people come into the store. He is messing with the and making a lot of noise.

Me: (to her son) Honey –

Mother: Yeah, YOU tell him.

Me: Please, don’t do that.

Son: Why?

Me: Because it’s loud and annoying.

Son: Oh. (He stops and goes over to a baguette in a basket) Hey, mom look! (And he grabs the exposed part of the baguette)

Me: Ok, I can’t sell that now because he touched it.

(The mother and son are starting to leave.)

Me: Ma’am, I can’t sell this because he touched it.

Mother: (to son) You touched it! Now I have to buy it!

Son: So if we touch stuff that means we get it for free?

Mom: NO!

Me: I can’t sell it to anybody else because you touched it.

Son: Oh.

Mother: You’d better eat this since I had to buy it!

(If I had done ANY of that when I was his age, my Nanna would never have taken me anywhere again. I would have been RUSHED out of the store and called by my middle name until I felt the fear of God. Parents aren’t willing to correct their own children, but of course they’ll let a total stranger do it!)

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A Detergent Deterrence

, , , | Right | November 5, 2013

(The market I work at keeps the packages of detergent pods on the middle shelf. A customer sees where they are, and flips out.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss?!”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Is there anyone I can talk to about the placement of the detergent pods?”

Me: “Our manager isn’t in right now. If you want, I can give you his name so you can bring the matter up with him at a later date.”

Customer: “I want you to do something about it now! These are poisonous to young children. If a child were to open one of these and eat one in the store, you would have a major lawsuit on your hands!”

Me: “We’ve never had an issue with the placement of the product before, but I could see if the acting manager can do something about it.”

(I go to page the acting store manager to the aisle. When I return to the aisle, the customer is nowhere to be seen, but there is a young girl trying to open one of the containers. Upon seeing me the young child drops the container on the floor causing them to spill everywhere.)

Child: “I’m sorry!”

(As if on cue, the customer comes flying into the aisle.)

Customer: “See what I mean?! It’s a good thing you were here to stop this little girl before she ate one! I can’t imagine what would have happened if you hadn’t come into the aisle when you had! See how easy it is for a child to get into them?!”

Child: “But Mommy, you told me to open it!”

(The customer turns beet red, grabs her daughter, and sprints from the aisle. Thankfully she is stopped by the acting manager who had heard the entire exchange. It turns out that the woman had pulled the same stunt at several other markets in the area to get some form of compensation. She was forced to pay for the detergent pods in the end.)

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