Unfiltered Story #143683

, , , | Unfiltered | March 16, 2019

(I am shopping at a grocery store in a long line.  A man answers his cell phone while in the 15 items or less line)

Wife on phone:  Honey, I don’t feel good.  I need you to provide dinner to the kids.

Husband:  OK.  (The man gets out of the 15 items or less line and comes back a few minutes later with some pesto sauce and some yogurt.  He pays and the cashier is on to the next customer.  His phone rings.)

Wife on phone:  Well.  Since you didn’t respond and you’re taking your sweet time coming home, I’ve decided to cook dinner.  And when you get home, you’re responsible for finishing this pound of spaghetti.

Husband:  Dear, I responded to you that that’s fine.  Since I’m at the grocery store, I’ve picked up some yogurt to go along with dinner.  I’m also planning on making pesto.

Wife on phone:  The kids already had yogurt for lunch.  Why are you pushing me like this?  Listen, it’s easy, I’ve already got the spaghetti done and I’m waiting for you to get home.

Husband:  Wait – now I’m confused.  Was I making dinner or not?

Wife on phone:  Like I already told you, you’re responsible for dinner.  I’ve already got the spaghetti done and no we are not eating more yogurt for dinner.

Husband:  OK, so I’ll just grab a vegetable and bring it home instead of the yogurt.

Wife on phone:  No, I just told you, you’ve got spaghetti.  Just come home already.

Husband:  Well, now I’m confused even more.  Am I cooking dinner or not?

Wife on phone:  Why do you keep pushing on me?  This isn’t complicated!  Stop being a jerk already!

Husband:  So…  do I grab a vegetable or not?

Wife on phone:  You know what?  What ever.  You’re being a jerk.  All you needed to do was make the spaghetti.  It’s not that complicated and the kids already had yogurt, so don’t bring any home.

Husband:  Dear… I am very very confused.  You want me to make dinner, but you’ve already made the spaghetti.  And I understand the yogurt, which is fine.  But, what are they going to have along with dinner?  I understand the not having multiple yogurts in a single day.  So, while I’m at the store, I can grab a veg…

Wife on phone:  You know what?  Fine, be that way.  You’re such an asshole.  I’m making the spaghetti.  When you get home, you can make a plate of your own.  And, I’ve lost my appetite just by talking to you!


Husband:  (Everyone is just staring at the man, who is standing there shaking his head in disbelief)  This happens around the same time each month…

(He drops off his shopping in his car then comes back in and grabs some assorted vegetables.  Who ever you are, good luck with your crazy wife!)

Unfiltered Story #141587

, , | Unfiltered | February 22, 2019

Two ladies are shopping together and one runs over to the yogurt section I’m working next to.

Customer (to her friend): I’m looking for my yogurt! They always sell out of my flavor before I get here, it’s the best one. Banana!

I look over and realize she’s looking for an item we don’t sell.

Me: I’m sorry, we don’t sell banana-flavored by Brand1. We have banana by Brand2 and banana cream pie by brand3 and brand4, though.

Customer: I always look for it here but it’s the best one so it sells out before I get to it. Everyone likes banana for some reason.

Me: Actually it’s not there because we don’t sell it. Some of our other locations may, but we only have those other brands I mentioned. I’m sorry about that.

Customer: Oh, that’s okay. I’ll just check back next time I’m in, you sell out of my flavor so fast!

me: *dies inside*

If You Spend $200 On A Calculator, You’re Not Good With Numbers

, , , , , | Right | January 9, 2019

(I work at a small chain grocery store at the customer service desk. This woman calls in claiming to have been triple-charged, and I tell her to come in the next day with her receipt.)

Customer: “Hi. I spoke to [My Name] on the phone yesterday, and she told me to come in today with my receipt for a refund.”

Me: “Hi! Yes, I was the person you spoke to yesterday. Let’s take a look at your receipt.”

(I look at her receipt, and she has a total written down next to her balance that is $20 less.)

Me: “Ma’am, you got your three free items. You purchased three and got three free. Here, I’ll circle it for you.”

(I circle the free items in red and the paid items in green.)

Customer: “No! You’re wrong! My total should be $82.91 and not $102.91! I was overcharged!”

(I take out my calculator and calculate her total which comes up to her subtotal.)

Me: “Ma’am, your total is correct. You weren’t overcharged. I promise.”

Customer: “No. You’re wrong. I’m going to go home and calculate my total on my husband’s $200 calculator, and if it’s different than what I paid, I’m coming back for a refund.”

(She never came back.)

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Unfiltered Story #124979

, , , | Unfiltered | November 11, 2018

(I take my nine-year-old daughter to the pharmacy because she has some pocket money to spend and wants to pick up a few treats. I enter my phone number to pull up my card number so my daughter would get any sale prices, but otherwise I am not involved in the transaction. I stand back as my daughter puts her items on the counter.)

Cashier: *looking up at me* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Me: *pointing back at my daughter* “She’s the one buying, not me.”

Cashier: *to daughter this time* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Daughter: “Sure, I’ll donate a dollar! I have the extra money, and it is for charity!”

(The cashier and her manager were shocked, but impressed, and quickly thanked my daughter!)

Comedy For A Quarter

, , , , , , | Working | November 5, 2018

Every week we have specials on certain items. One particular item, normally 35¢, was discounted to a lower price and shown in the ad as “4 for $1.00.” A customer went to a register with four of the item and the cashier was ringing them up.

A minute later she called for the manager over the walkie-talkie system, “These items are supposed to be four for a dollar, but they’re ringing up at 25¢ each!” It was the first time I heard five different employees laugh in five different parts of the store at the same time.

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