I work in a hotel. One weekend, we have a very large wedding that takes up the entire house. The festivities go into the early hours of the next day and most of the guests decline housekeeping services due to hangovers and sleeping in.

The second day, the majority of the guests check out while the bride and groom stay an additional night. I work through the busy and frenzied checkout for the better part of the morning. Toward the end of checkout, the housekeeping manager calls me over the radio to say that I need to come see a guest room so I can charge the guest accordingly.

The guest managed to climb a four-foot tall dresser and poop in the top drawer, and then they decided to close it and act as if nothing had happened. When housekeeping attempted to enter the room, the guest claimed someone else had done that before he checked in. Mind you, the whole floor now smells of feces.

The guest comes down shortly after to try and check out.

Me: “Sir, there was a mess that needed to be cleaned and you will be charged an additional fee.”

Guest: *Playing dumb* “That’s not my room. Housekeeping is cleaning it now.”

I show the guest the picture the manager sent me.

Me: “Sir, could you then please explain the mess?”

He claimed to have not created the mess and blocked his card from being charged.

The next day, I had to tell the bride that, as part of their bill, they would be required to cover their guest’s lodging and cleanup fee. When we told her what the mess was, the bride demanded proof, and after seeing the picture, she promptly paid and left.

My family’s rescue ranch is a very big attraction in the area, acting as a pseudo-theme park of sorts. We have just opened up after a three-week transition from our Halloween attraction to our Winter attraction, which boasts carnival rides, meet and greets with the jolly man himself, holiday shopping, a craft market, etc.

Usually, I am in charge of the carnival area, which is called the “Winter Wonderland”. This night, however, just happens to be my father’s birthday, and my brother and I have taken over for our parents while they enjoy a night off together.

I am dealing with a flooding issue in our “Main Street” area when I hear security calling for my brother or me to head to the pathway between the illuminated forest attraction and the carnival attraction. My brother responds that he will go, as I am dealing with flood issues and will be busy for a while.

All is well and quiet until I hear this over the radio.

Brother: “Attention team members working the Illuminated Trail and Winter Wonderland: be advised that we have a ‘Cousin Eddie’ at the rest area.”

Perplexed and finished with the flood issue, I hop on my ATV and head up to the rest area in question. It takes me some time, but when I get there, I see my brother hanging an “Out Of Order” sign on the washrooms.

Me: “Hey, [Brother], what exactly is going on?” *Leans in* “What the heck is a ‘Cousin Eddie’?”

Brother: “Well, when you think of Cousin Eddie, from that Christmas movie, what do you think?”

I blink before my eyes go wide.

Me: “No.”

Brother: “Yes.”

I still have no clue why, but I unlock the door and take a peek. It is the stench that hits me first — I still smell it now — before the sight makes my eyes water. Out of the three toilet stalls, two of them have been covered in feces. It is everywhere — toilet, wall, door, everywhere. The sinks are covered in poopy handprints, and that is all I see before I shut the door and lock it. I turn to my brother.

Me: “How about we just burn it down?”

Brother: “Mom and Dad will never know what a s***ty situation we got ourselves in tonight.”

Client’s feedback on an ice-cream image’s proposal for a printed ad:

Client: “I really like how the whole image looks, just have in mind that we are going to come out with this ice cream Ad in winter, during the Christmas Holidays. For you to understand, we actually want the image to transmit a ‘warm winter feeling,’ so, just make the ice cream look a little bit hot, and we’ll be okay.”

My wife and I owned a two-bedroom, 660-square-foot condo some years ago and, when we moved to a single-family home, we rented it out. One of the applicants was a young, enlisted service member and his fiancée. We felt we should give them a chance since they were just starting out. They paid up front and we halved the rental deposit to give them a break. That was a huge mistake.

The second month they were there, they were late on the rent as they were on the third month. We finally had to charge them the 10% late fee. Into the fourth month, I got a call from a friend who still lived in the condo.

Friend: “There are twelve people living in your rental, and they’re taking up all of the assigned parking! They showed up from one of the US territories and never left. They built a cooking pit on the walkway in the common area and they’re roasting freshly killed chickens and pigs.”

Mind you, this is a suburb, not a farm. I went down there to talk to them.

Me: “You cannot have all your relatives living here as they’re not on the rental agreement. They have two days to move out. You also need to repair the common area where your firepit is, or else I’ll get fined.”

Renter: “Our relatives came over and they had no place to stay, so we let them live here.”

Me: “They can stay in a hotel.”

It was three generations — twelve people plus the couple — living in a 660-square-foot, two-bedroom condo.

Into the fifth month, I had to charge them the late fee again and call the service member’s commander to get him to pay. Finally, at the end of the sixth month, he got deployment orders, so we let them out of the lease.

On the day of the exit walkthrough, I found that the curtains were gone, and the carpet was stained with grease and soot from them roasting chickens and pigs in the living room. The dishwasher was inoperable because the drainage tube had eight ounces of rotting fat lodged in there. There was grease and soot all along the walls of every room. They lost the keys, so we had to change the locks. They tried a makeshift repair of one of the toilets, using… concrete.

I confronted them on all of this and said we would be keeping the security deposit, at which they got angry. They thought that, since they lived there for six months, they owned the curtains. They were going to challenge us on the rest for their security deposit, but I wrote a detailed letter — with photos as documentation — to his commander and they backed down. It cost us three times the rental deposit to repair all of the damage and to get all of the chicken and pig grease off of the walls.

In my first week as a manager, I get a complaint about one of the contractors working for me. Apparently, he smells like he hasn’t washed in weeks. Other comments have been made about his lack of handwashing and overuse of deodorant spray.

I think long and hard about how to approach it. It’s not an easy subject; I don’t know what cultural or personal issues I might be stepping on. Eventually, I decide on an honest but fair approach. I get him in first thing Monday morning and check that he is okay and understands why I asked him here.

Me: “The bottom line is that you need to wash daily and apply some sort of antiperspirant or deodorant that works for you and everyone around you.”

Worker: “I do!”

Me: “Honestly, you’ve been here for thirty minutes and I can smell that’s not the case. I need you to make this change or we are going to have to lose you.”

He folds his arms in defiance.

Me: “Listen, we can deal with it here or we will have to escalate it. But it needs to be dealt with now.”

Worker: “Are we finished?”

Me: “Yes, you can go.”

I was being kind when I said I could tell he hadn’t washed. My office stank of body odor and I could see his clothes were dirty from the week before. Being a contractor, he was getting paid more than I was. We even have showers on-site! I decide to call the agency we use to manage him. I explained why we spoke and that I expected them to follow up and have the matter sorted within the week.

A week later, I got the same complaints. I invited him to a meeting with me and a representative from the agency. He didn’t show up that day. I rescheduled and he called off sick.

We fired him on the spot; being agency work, there is no notice period and no pay other than the hours he worked.

He claimed unfair dismissal (doesn’t exist for contractors), claimed I made things up (everything was documented), and claimed racial discrimination (no evidence was given, as there wasn’t any).

He then tried to apply directly for his old position. Of course, that didn’t work. His last act of defiance was to write me a list of accusations and vague threats. After he showed it to his agency, they fired him, too.