This Job Is A Dump

, , , , , | Working | July 20, 2019

(The convenience store where I have been working for about a year and a half is sold and the new owner decides to keep me for my regular opening shift. I am glad to have new bosses because the last boss/owner was hard to work for and one of the other employees never did anything because she was friends with the owners. This story happens about two weeks after the new bosses take over.)

Boss: “Somebody has been bringing all their garbage and throwing it in our dumpster after we close. Let’s go out here and go through the bags and see if we can find some mail or something with their name on it.”

Me: “Okay, do we have any gloves?”

Boss: “No, just wash your hands when we’re done.”

(We go to the dumpster and open several bags, going through them and getting really nasty and wet doing it. Finally, after about twenty minutes of searching, we get a clue.)

Me: “Here’s an empty cigarette carton.”

(It’s a brand that we only sell to one customer. She’s in once a week to get two cartons of those cigarettes.)

Me: “It has to be her. Nobody else buys these.”

Boss: “Maybe, but just to be sure, keep looking.”

(We dig through bags for about ten more minutes when my boss finds something.)

Boss: “Here it is. It’s [Regular Customer] mail with her name on it.”

Me: “Good, are we done? Her brand of cigarettes and her mail. Are you going to tell her to stop?”

Boss: “No, better not. She spends a lot of money here. I’ll figure out something.”

(After all of the crap we went through and as dirty as we got, then he decided to let it go. After three more weeks of her filling our dumpster, he finally got a lock and that solved the problem. I worked for him for another year before I finally quit.)

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Rich People Be Ballin’

, , , , , , | Right | July 12, 2019

I work in a public library. A man approaches the counter to check out some movies. At the time, anyone who owes $5 or more is blocked from checking out, and this fellow owes $6. I inform him of this and tell him if he can bring his bill down to $4.99, he can check out. I’ve found this an effective way to get people to pay most or all of their fine, even our most stubborn “I shouldn’t have late fees at all” patrons.

The man is perfectly pleasant and agrees to pay. He then proceeds to not only pull the waistband of his shorts away from his body, but the waistband of his boxer shorts underneath, as well. He then rifles around in his underwear a bit and proceeds to give me six damp dollar bills.

I can’t refuse the money, so I reluctantly take it and check his items out to him. As soon as he’s gone, I get a can of disinfectant spray, hit “NO SALE” on the cash register, and take out his boxer-short money to spray down, informing a confused coworker what just happened. I also use a LOT of hand sanitizer and make sure the dollar bills are kept separate from the others.

Honestly, I’ll take boob money over ball-sack money any day! Unless she’s lactating, of course.

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Making Sour Grapes By Sampling Sweet Ones

, , , , | Right | July 11, 2019

(Working nights in a supermarket, you see a lot of strange things and strange people. There is a mother/daughter duo who comes in a couple of times a week to shop, and they always ride around in the motorized carts. They are lazy, not disabled. I am the third-shift assistant manager, and the third-shift store manager and I are headed up to the front of the store to buy food for our lunch break. We notice the mother/daughter duo popping lids off of cakes in the bakery and we go over to see what was going on. They are scraping frosting off with their fingers, eating it, and then putting the lids back on the cakes!)

Store Manager: “What the h*** do you think you’re doing?!”

(The mom looks up and says, with complete innocence:)

Mom: “We’re just sampling… you know… like when you eat a grape.”

(We kicked them out and banned them from the store.)

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In Retail, It’s That Time Of The Month ALL Month

, , , | Right | July 11, 2019

(I am working at a clothing store that sells very cheap — in quality and price — clothing geared towards young women. It’s a typical evening at the end of the week, bustling with customers in a tiny space. Suddenly, I hear a shout from my coworker.)

Coworker: “Ewwww! I am not touching that!

(This alarms the rest of the staff, and I see my manager run towards the dressing room where my coworker is, while the others look on in confusion.)

Manager: “Oh, my God! What the h***! Someone get me a plastic bag, now!

(I see my coworker dash across the store, shaking her head with her face wrinkled in disgust. Seconds later, we see our manager walk out with the plastic bag; in it is a wet, bloody tampon!)

Manager: “So freaking nasty; this is why I hate people sometimes.”

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In Receipt Of A Crazy Request

, , , | Right | July 10, 2019

(In our charity shop, if a customer wants to return something, we offer an exchange or a credit note, as long as they have their receipt. We always offer a receipt, but usually, for smaller purchases, customers don’t want one. A customer has bought something for £4.95 — about $6.50 — and declined the receipt, so I crumple it and throw it in the bin. Later that day, they return.)

Customer: “I bought this earlier.” *shows me the item in their bag*

Me: “Yes, I remember.”

Customer: “I want my receipt.”

Me: “Did you want to return it?”

Customer: “No, but I didn’t take my receipt. I need it.”

Me: “I threw it away because you didn’t want it.”

Customer: “Can you print another one?”

Me: “Sorry, no, we can only reprint the last receipt, and I’ve had other customers since you were here.”

Customer: “What did you do with my receipt, then?”

(I point at the bin, now full of receipts, price tags, dirt from when I swept behind the counter, sweet wrappers, sticky tape, and several used teabags.)

Me: “It’s in there, sorry.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll wait. I want it.”

Me: “You seriously want it?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(I picked through that filthy bin, unfolding bits of paper, for ten minutes before I finally found her receipt. It was wet from a teabag and had tape stuck to it covered in dirt. I offered it to her. She declined.)

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