(I’m a customer coming back from the buffet line with food and notice another customer changing her baby’s diaper, right in the middle of the seating area.)

Me: “Madam? You can’t do that here.”

Customer: “This won’t be too long!”

Me: “That’s a table; you can’t change your baby there!”

Customer: “Yes, I can! I just need to be quick! You can just clean this!”

Me: “I happen to be a health inspector and–”

Customer: “S***!” *runs away with the baby, leaving the dirty diaper on the table*

Me: “–that was my table right there.”

Bus-Boy: “Let me move you to a new table…”

This story is part of our Terrible Parents roundup!

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(I work for a large electronics chain as a repair tech. An older man comes up to the counter with a 42″ TV.)

Customer: “I need to have this TV replaced. I bought it yesterday and it made a ‘buzz’ sound and won’t turn on anymore.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. I just need to verify what’s wrong with the TV and then we can look into swapping it out for you if you have your receipt.”

(I walk over to the TV and notice an odd aroma lingering near it.)

Me: “Did your TV come into contact with any liquid, sir?”

Customer: “No… Wait… Does pee count as liquid?”

This story is part of our Need For Hazard Pay roundup!

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Customer #1: “I would like a discount on this shirt. It’s covered in blood! This is disgusting!”

Coworker: “I’m very sorry about this! I can give you a 10% discount.”

(The customer looks through the rest of her purchase, which is also covered in blood.)

Customer #1: “There’s blood on all of these clothes! This is DISGUSTING!”

(A nearby customer notices what’s going on and chimes in.)

Customer #2: “Ma’am, your hand is bleeding.”

Customer #1: “Well… er… I don’t bleed like that!”

This story is part of the Customers-Who-Will-Die-On-Their-Hill-themed roundup!

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(I’m cleaning a table that a young couple just left and find a used tampon floating in their old drink and a pregnancy test hiding in their napkin. I turn around to see a frantic woman.)

Customer: “Where is it?!”

Me: “Uh… excuse me?”

Customer: “I left some personal things here. What happened to them?”

(I look at my tub and then back at her. She looks at my tub and then back at me, and suddenly turns pale.)

Customer: “Oh…”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: *suddenly quiet* “Do you remember what the result was?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Well, that’s just f****** great! Thanks for nothing!”

This story is part of our Grossest Customers Ever roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories About Customers Who Should Quit Smoking – For OUR Health

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(I’m a female working in a gas station and it’s close to midnight. The customer is obviously drunk, which means I can’t sell him alcohol.)

Customer: “You’re the kind of pretty thing I’m not allowed to touch.

(He proceeds to our beer cooler and takes one bottle out of a six-pack.)

Me: “Sir, I can’t sell you that for two reasons. One, you are obviously drunk and store policy says you can’t buy alcohol. Two, if you were sober it would have to be the whole six-pack or nothing.”

Customer: *stares at me for 30 seconds and then pukes on his coat*

Customer: “Am I sober enough now?”

This story is part of our Grossest Customers Ever roundup!

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Read the Grossest Customers Ever roundup!