Nail Fail

, , , | Right | May 15, 2018

(While I’m shopping, I overhear the following exchange between a customer and one of the employees manning the till.)

Employee: “Excuse me, sir, what are you doing with that nail clipper? Are you actually clipping your nails?”

Customer: “Yes. I have to test if it works, right?”

Employee: “That is not very hygienic, sir. I’m afraid you’ll need to buy it now. I can’t sell it to other people like this.”

Customer: “But… I just needed to test it out. All right, how much is it?”

Employee: “It’s [amount], sir.”

(The customer paid for the clippers and walked away. As they left the shop, I heard his wife saying to him, “I don’t understand why you wanted another one. You have dozens of those things at home.”)

Number Two Over By Number Seven

, , , , | Right | May 14, 2018

(I work night shifts at a service station. When a customer picks up a fuel hose to fuel up their car, it sets off an alarm inside that alerts the station attendant that the pump needs to be authorized. Fuel won’t pour until they do so, and the alarm won’t stop until it is either authorized or hung up. Unfortunately, a system error crashes one of the pumps with the alarm still going, so the entire pump has been turned off to shut it up until it can be fixed. Each nozzle on the pump has been covered with a bright orange out-of-order sign that must be removed before it can be used. I am in the cold room of the store stocking shelves when I hear thumping sounds and swearing, so I return to the front in time to see a man seemingly standing up from beside the non-functioning pump. There is no car, but I see he has a fuel can.)

Me: *over PA system* “Sorry, customer on pump seven! That one is currently out of order. I’ll just get you to move over to six and you’ll be all set.”

(The customer storms over to the night window, swearing loudly the whole while.)

Customer: “Oh, and you couldn’t d*** well tell me that ten minutes ago, you useless f****** w****r? What the f*** were you doing?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir.” *I explain the error, the pump alarm, etc.* “So, when you attempted to fill up, it wasn’t able to notify me, and since you walked in, I didn’t hear a car entering. Again, I’m extremely sorry about the wait. If you want to head over to one of the other pumps, I can get that started for you right away, and I can grab you a coffee card or free drink as an apology.”

Customer: *slightly mollified* “Well, you still should have had some kind of d*** sign out so tha—” *he gestures angrily at the pump, pausing as he notices the fluorescent orange hose-covers* “Huh.”

(He pauses for a moment, then turns back to me, looking absolutely mortified.)

Customer: “Look, I’m really sorry I went off like that. I messed up, and you’ve treated me a lot politer than I deserved. Don’t worry about fuel or a freebie. I’ll just go. Uh… Who… cleans out by the pumps and that here, by the way?”

Me: “The night staff do it, so that’ll be me just before I finish this morning. Why?”

Customer: “Oh, uh… Um, here.” *he shoves a $10 note into the cash slot and leaves hurriedly*

(Some time later:)

Another Customer: “Jesus, did somebody take a s*** over beside pump seven?”

(Sadly, the answer was yes.)

The Director Is A Bad Apple

, , , , , | Working | May 11, 2018

(I am working as a prep cook in a cafeteria that serves over 1000 people daily. For some reason, I am occasionally asked to recycle old food from other stations through my station. For example, I was once asked to make breakfast yogurt parfaits using crushed stale cookies and fruit that was starting to turn. I refused. I am at my station when the director comes walking through the kitchen:)

Director: “Hey, [My Name], can you do something with this?”

(He sets a single apple — rotten on one end — down on my cutting board.)

Me: “Yes, sir, I can!”

(I wait until he has left the kitchen, and then I nudge the apple off my cutting board into the wastebasket.)

Me: “Done. Easy.”

(No one ever came back to check what salad I made for over 1000 people with a single half-rotten apple.)

Maybe Best This Guy Doesn’t Breed, Anyway

, , , , | Right | May 11, 2018

(I work at a retail chain as my first job. One day a young man comes in and puts a one-dollar pregnancy test on my counter.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this.”

Me: *looking at the test laying on my counter, out of the box* “Um… What’s wrong?”

Customer: “It didn’t work. I want another one.”

Me: “It didn’t work?”

Customer: “Yeah, my girlfriend used it. It didn’t work.”

(I called the manager, who seemed just as shocked as me that the man had laid a used pregnancy test on our counter, but he let the young man exchange it for another one. I poked the used thing into a trash can with a piece of cardboard and scrubbed at the counter for some time.)

This Manager Has You Down In The Gutter

, , , , , | Working | May 9, 2018

When I was still a teenager, I worked for a country club. The job was very easy most nights, and the clientele was very polite. The only bad thing about it was our general manager. He was a very pompous man who would eat more than he worked and would get in screaming matches with all the staff. The chefs especially hated him because he was always trying to tell them how to do everything, when he knew nothing about food. There was one night, above all others, that encapsulates him as a manager.

We were hosting a wedding, birthday party, golf tournament, and normal dining. We were very understaffed, and I happened to be sick, so we were all floundering. My supervisor put me on the hostess stand where I wouldn’t have to strain myself too much, but I still had quite a bit to do. At one point my GM approached me and demanded I clean the bathrooms. I tend to get very confrontational when I’m sick, and I told him no. I would not be cleaning a bathroom and dealing with food. That was not part of my duties. I guess he wasn’t expecting that from a young girl, and just scampered off.

I found out the next day what had happened. At some point, one of the women in the bridal party got drunk and tried to flush multiple tampons down our toilet. Our sewage is connected to the kitchen, and sewage water from the bathroom flooded the kitchen. My manager tried to get every person on staff to clean it, but they all had the same response as me. Instead of calling in a cleaner, a plumber, or closing down for the night, he told the dishwashers to just occasionally sweep the sewage water out the back door. He closed down both bathrooms with a full house, and we continued to serve food the entire night.

After all that, this man even had the gall to write up each person who had said no to him for “insubordination.” I quit not too long after. He is still the GM, years later.

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