The Non-Residents Need More Assistance Than The Residents

, , , | Right | September 18, 2017

(A woman and one of our residents come back from an outing, and the woman comes up to my desk.)

Me: “Hello. Welcome back, [Resident].”

Woman: “Do I need to sign the thing saying she’s back and…” *trails off*

Me: “Yes, just put down the time next to where you signed her out earlier.”

Woman: “Okay.” *walks away*

Me: *blinks* “Orrrrr I could do it…” *writes time in*

Woman: “Oh… did you want me to…” *turns back for a second and then walks off again*

Me: “Am I speaking English?”

Transferring The Lies

, , , | Working | September 4, 2017

(My husband’s grandmother has sent me a birthday card with cash in it and I’d like to call and thank her. However, I’ve got a new phone with no contacts in it, my husband is busy at work, and we don’t really talk to any of his relatives, so I decide to call the retirement home to see if they’ll help connect me or pass along a message. They connected me the previous year with no hassle. I explain my problem and ask if they can connect me, or give me her number, or pass along a message).

Receptionist #1: “I don’t know. I’ll put you through to [Receptionist #2].”

Me: *explains again*

Receptionist #2: “She’s not in my department. I’ll connect you with [Manager #1].”

Me: *explains again*

Manager #1: “I don’t know. I’ll put you through to [Manager #2].”

Me: *explains again*

Manager #2: “It’s illegal to give out someone’s number.”

Me: “Oh. Last year they did. Can you connect me directly?”

Manager #2: “No, they didn’t. You’re lying. I can’t connect. That’s illegal.”

Me: “Oookay, well, they did give me her number last year and then proceeded to connect me.”

Manager #2: “Stop lying.”

Me: “Woah, there’s no need to be rude. It happened. Legal, or otherwise, it happened. Can you leave her a message?”

Manager #2: “I’m not being rude. You’re lying. We can’t transfer calls on our phones. No i won’t leave her a message. She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Me: “You can’t transfer any calls?”

Manager #2: “No. It’s a single line.”

Me: “At all.”

Manager #2: “No. And it’s illegal and you’re lying.”

Me: “Okay, now you’re being rude and ridiculous. I was transferred three times today before speaking to you. And I was helped immediately last year. And, even if they weren’t supposed to do it, it still happened. Shouting at me that I’m lying doesn’t make it so.”

(She started to speak, but I hung up. I later got the phone number from my husband and called to thank his grandmother for the card.)

Husband’s Grandmother: “Why didn’t you just call reception, they could have transferred you!”

Keeping Your Records Clean

| ON, Canada | Right | July 26, 2017

(My two coworkers and I have brown hair and are women. This particularly senior has never gotten our names right.)

Me: “So, I’m all done cleaning.”

Senior: “Good, now go away!”

Me: All right, bye.

(An hour later, I and the other two girls are called to the manager’s office.)

Manager: “So [Senior] just complained to the director that the cleaner who did her room did an awful job and was rude to her. She described the cleaner as “A short brunet.” So which one of you was it?”

(We stay silent.)

Manager: “Right, I can’t punish three people when two didn’t do anything. And she complains every week, so just go.”

(We leave.)

Me: “Thanks guys.”

Coworker #1: “No worries. She really does say we’re rude every week and she complains every week no matter how good a job we do.”

Coworker #2: “Just remember, next week when she does it again, stick by us.”

Me: “Right, as long as none of us confesses to being rude when we weren’t rude and doing a bad job when we did a good job, we’re good.”

(I stayed there two years and never did get punished for that. And she really did complain every week.)

Their Brain Does Not Compute

| MI, USA | Working | July 25, 2017

(After losing my job in the great recession, I took an entry level service job to make ends meet. Many of my coworkers, while well-meaning, were not particularly bright. I stuck out like a sore thumb as the only college grad in the building. One coworker decided to ask me for advice…)

Coworker: “Hey, you gone to college, right? So you know about computers?”

Me: “I know a little. I didn’t study computer science, but I’ve used computers for a long time.”

Coworker: “So I just bought a computer, and I need to learn how to do Internet.”

Me: “Yeah, I can help with that. Is it a PC or a Mac?”

Coworker: “…”

Me: “Do you know what kind of computer it is? Where did you buy it?”

Coworker: “Oh, I got it at a garage sale. Only five bucks! I still need to get the other parts, like the keys and the mouse.”

Me: “Good deal on a computer. Yeah, you’ll need the keyboard and mouse before you can do anything. Do you have an Internet service provider? If you have cable, you can probably have your cable company add Internet service.”

Coworker: “I got to pay them for it? That’s crazy. WiFi don’t cost nothing.”

Me: “Not here at work, but to get it at home, you’ll need to pay.”

Coworker: “D***. Hey, do I need one of those boxes?”

Me: “Boxes?”

Coworker: “Yeah, one of those boxes that go under the desk.”

Me: *pointing to the tower of a nearby computer* “Like, one of these boxes?”

Coworker: “Yeah! Like that. What’s that do?”

Me: “That’s the computer. The part that actually does the computing. Wait, what part did you buy?”

Coworker: *pointing to the monitor* “A computer. Like this one.”

Me: “Oooh. Yeah, that’s just the monitor. It’s like a TV that shows what the box is doing. The parts in the box do the actual computing.”

Coworker: “So how much one of them gonna cost me?”

Me: “A really basic one would probably be three or four hundred.”

Coworker: “WHAT? H***, no! I’m gonna find some other way to make my computer work.”

Me: “Good luck with that.”

I Scream For More Ice Cream

| USA | Right | February 21, 2017

(I work as a server for the elderly residents.)

Resident: “What sort of ice cream is there?”

Me: “Vanilla, strawberry, and peach.”

Resident: “Chocolate?”

Me: “No chocolate.”

Resident: “You said chocolate!”

Me: “No, I said vanilla, strawberry, and peach.”

(She rolls her eyes and grudgingly orders vanilla. When I bring it out, she looks disgusted and asks the manager to come here.)

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Resident: “This is too little ice cream! I wanted more!”

Manager: *to me* “You must bring more ice cream to her next time.”

Me: “Okay. I was under the impression that she only wanted a bit, but okay.”

(The manager helps me scoop out more ice cream for her, and I resume my duties. Guess what I saw when I went to clear the resident’s plates after she left? A full bowl of untouched vanilla ice cream! Crotchety old bat.)

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