Delicious Deals

| | Right | May 18, 2009

Me: “Would you like this gift wrapped?”

Customer: “Yes I would.”

Me: “OK – here’s your receipt. Just head to the back of the store in about 5 min–”

(The customer eats the receipt.)

Me: “Oh…um, you actually need that to collect your purchase from gift wrap…”

(The customer spits the receipt onto the counter.)

Customer: “It didn’t taste very good anyway.”

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From Sprinting In Stilettos To Shin Splints & Sprains

| | Right | May 18, 2009

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for high-heeled running shoes.”

Me: “Um…we don’t make high-heeled running shoes.”

Customer: “That’s impossible! I bought some here last year!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve been working here for 2 years, and I can assure you that we have never carried high-heeled running shoes.”

Customer: “Well, where can I find some?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure those don’t exist. Heels would defeat the purpose of a running shoe.”

Customer: “Fine! I’m not shopping here ever again!” *storms out*

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

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The Child May Get A Himself Complex

| | Right | May 15, 2009

(I was working at the registers as a lady walked in with a child in a stroller. One of the other employees walked up to her.)

Employee: “Aw, what a cute baby. What’s his name?”

Customer: “God.”

Employee: “You named the kid after God?”

Customer: “No, I named him God.”

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The People Of England Wholeheartedly Agree

, | | Right | May 14, 2009

Customer: “How do you change the language setting on The Sims?”

Me: “Well, I’d imagine there’s something in the game’s options. What did you need to set it to?”

Customer: “English.”

Me: “Funny, I’d think that would be the default.”

Customer: “But I can’t understand them!”

Me: “Wait, you mean the Sims themselves?”

Customer: “Yes! They’re speaking French!”

Me: “No, they’re speaking Simlish. It’s a gibberish language.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, it sounds like French!”

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The Force Is Strong In This One

, | | Right | May 14, 2009

Customer: “Hello, I would like to return this item.”

Me: “Ok, what was the problem?”

Customer: “I just don’t need it anymore.”

Me: “Ok, do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “Yes, here it is.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t return this. It’s from six months ago.”

Customer: “Yes you can…” *waves hands in the air*

Me: “I’m sorry, no I can’t. I would get in a lot of trouble.”

Customer: “No you won’t…” *waves hands in the air again*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m not going to do that.”

Customer: *turns and leaves*

Me, to coworker: “Did I just get Jedi mind-tricked?”

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