Mindless Consumerism, How I Love Thee

, , | | Right | January 2, 2008

Kid: “Mommy! Mommy! I want those shoes!”

Mom: “Why do you want those shoes?”

Kid: “Because everyone else is wearing them.”

Mom: “Wouldn’t you want to get something different and be more original?”

Kid: “No… then I wouldn’t be original like everyone else!”

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Just Wait Until Congress Hears About This

| | Right | December 27, 2007

Me: “Yes, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Well I need one of those things that go in back of my phone. What’s it called?”

Me: “I’m not sure what it is, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh yeah, I remember what it is. A stem cell…”

Me: “A what????”

Customer: “You know, a stem cell so I can make calls…the little card thing…”

(She was thinking of a SIM card; I died laughing when she left!)

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Sticking To Your Guns

| | Right | December 25, 2007

*customer hands over a tree skirt for her Christmas tree*

Customer: “Thats all! And I have a coupon…”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but it appears that the tree skirt is already on sale, so you can’t use the coupon.”

Customer: “Really? It doesn’t say anywhere that it’s on sale.”

Me: “Well, the ad that the coupon comes in also says that ‘All Christmas decorations’ are on sale for 30% off. Your coupon is for 40% off, so its not that big of a difference. It says on the coupon that you cannot use it on sale items…”

Customer: “Can’t you just give me the regular price and discount it with the coupon?”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re only losing out on…6 dollars. I really don’t want to lose my job over your 6 dollars.”

Customer: “I BELIEVE I’M BEING CHEATED! I’M NEVER SHOPPING AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT AGAIN!”

*customer comes back 2 hours later to buy the exact same tree skirt*

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Ask A Stupid Question, Part 2

, , | | Right | December 20, 2007

(I’m standing right in front of about ten racks of toys and a giant sign that says “Toy Shop.”)

Customer: “Do you carry toys?”

Me: *turns, looks up at the sign* “Nope.”

(Customer walked off to continue their search.)

 

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Today, All My Questions Shall Be Stupid

, , | | Right | December 17, 2007

Customer: “What size is this rug?”

Me: *reading label* “54” x 72″.”

Customer: “So how big is that?”

Me: “In centimetres? It’s…”

Customer: “No, in inches.”

Me: “It’s 54 inches x 72 inches.”

Customer: “OK. And what colour is it?”

Me: “Lilac.”

Customer: “Right… and would it look good in my lounge?”

Me: “I don’t know… I’ve never seen your lounge.”

Customer: “No, I guess you haven’t. Do you think I have room for it?”

Me: “…”

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