Just Another Day In Bedrock

| | Right | September 4, 2008

(Keep in mind, this customer comes in about ten times a day. He’s insane and you never know what you will get from this guy.)

Customer: “Yabba dabba.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Yabba dabba.”

Me: “Okay. That will be thirteen fifty.”

Customer: *hands me money* “Yabba dabba.”

Me: “You don’t say?”

Customer: *angrily* “Yabba dabba!!”

Me: “Doo. Have a good day.”

Customer: *happy now* “YABBA DABBA!!!!” *leaves*

(He comes back about two hours later, talking regularly like nothing happened.)

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Guilt Trip: FAIL

| | Right | September 4, 2008

Customer: “Hey, you guys sell fish food and supplies, but do you have any fish?”

Me: “No, sorry sir, we don’t sell pets.”

Customer: “Where do they sell pets?”

Me: “A pet store?”

Customer: “Is there one of those near here?”

Me: “Uhm, I really don’t know.”

Customer: “Will you take me to it?”

Me: “… no?”

Customer: “Sam Walton would take me to it!”

Me: “Sam Walton is dead.”

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Baptism On A Budget

| | Right | September 3, 2008

Customer: “I need some help with the animal watering troughs.”

Me: “Sure, they are outside. Let’s go look at them.”

(Outside…)

Customer: “Can I see if I fit in it?”

Me: “Um, ok.”

(The customer climbs in.)

Customer to companion: “Ok, now you get in too, see if we will both fit.”

(The customer’s companion climbs in.)

Customer: “Ok, this will work, but do you have any nicer looking ones, without dents? We are using it for a baptismal font.”

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More Like The Gas Beneath My Pants

| | Right | September 2, 2008

Me: “Hello, ¬†*** Music. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you had the sheet music for ‘Hero’.”

Me: “Mariah Carey?”

Customer: “No! Bette Midler!”

Me: “Oh! ‘Wind Beneath My Wings!’ Sure, ¬†we’ve got it!”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “The song is called ‘Wind Beneath My Wings.’ It’s one of the most popular vocal arrangements on the market.”

Customer: “No, it’s that one about her hero.”

Me:¬†”Yeah…” *sings* “… did you ever know that you’re my hero?¬†You’re everything I wish I could be…¬†I can fly higher than an eagle… and you are the WIND BENEATH MY WINGS.”

Customer: “Yes! That’s the one!” *sings* “‘Did you ever know that you’re my HERO!’¬†Can you hold a copy for me?”

Me, giving up: “Of course…”

(Later on…)

Coworker 1: “So, who was on the phone?”

Coworker 2: “… and why are they the wind beneath your wings?”

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The Logic Is Weak In This One

| | Right | September 2, 2008

(A man comes out of the fitting room with a pair of pants and talks to my coworker.)

Customer: “So… it says here on the hanger, that it’s size 34. The tag says 34, and this other tag says 34. But there’s no freaking way I can fit into these! So what does that mean?

Coworker: “Well, I guess that means you’re not a size 34…”

Customer: “Oh. Thanks.”

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