Rage Against The Earless Machine

, | | Right | April 14, 2009

(I overheard this conversation between a self checkout machine and a customer.)

Self checkout machine: “Please take your items.”

Customer: “DON’T TELL ME WHAT THE F*** TO DO! WHAT? DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID? YOU THINK I’M JUST GOING TO LEAVE MY S*** HERE?!”

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Ah, Grandmothers

, | | Right | April 11, 2009

(I was working in the fitting room and overheard an obviously frustrated grandmother and her 7 year old granddaughter yelling at each other.)

Grandmother: “Put on your d*** pants!”

Girl: “No! I don’t want to!”

Grandmother: “1…2…3…”

Girl: “Nooooo! I hate you!”

Grandmother: “Well, I hate you too, so we’re even!”

 

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When Political Causes Collide

, | | Right | April 10, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me, where is this table made? It’s not made in China, is it?”

Me: “Yes, I do believe it’s made in China.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you would sell things from China.”

Me: “Well, we have a factory there that makes custom furnishings directly for us. I assure you they’re of the highest quality.”

Customer: “Well, I can’t shop here! This is an outrage!

Me: “I don’t see the problem…”

Customer: “The problem is that they do animal testing in China!”

Me: “Um, this is a table.”

Customer: “They still do animal testing!”

Me: “Well, I assure you no animals were harmed during the building of this table.”

Customer: *storms out*

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Howard Hughes Goes Shopping

| | Right | April 10, 2009

(I had just finished a customer’s transaction, and was gathering up the change.)

Me: “All right, your change is ****.”

Customer: “Wait…I don’t like people touching my money…is there any way I can just take it out of the drawer myself?”

Me: “…um, no.”

Customer: “But what am I supposed to do? I don’t want you to contaminate it with germs!”

Me: “…get a debit card?”

(He leaves with his contaminated money, quite annoyed.)

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White In New Jersey, What A Concept

| | Right | April 8, 2009

(The store has a policy where if customers bring in empty printer cartridges they would receive a free ream of white paper. However, the store would only take a few brands.)

Customer: “I have these printer cartridges and I’d like to receive my free paper.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am but we don’t accept these brand.”

Customer: “You can’t be serious, what else am I going to do with them?”

Coworker: “Well the sign over there states which brands we take, but we can recycle them for you.”

(The customer turns to me.)

Customer: “Is this a race thing? Is it because I’m white?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I’m serious. I demand to know if this is because I’m white!”

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