(I work in a popular ladies clothing store. It is a busy Saturday afternoon, with a line of customers. Our state offers tax-exempt shopping for customers from certain nearby states.)

Customer: “I’m an Alaska resident; I’m tax-free.”

Me: *jokingly, with a smile* “Prove it! I’ll need your driver’s licence or ID.”

(The customer rolls her eyes and tosses her licence at me silently. I cross to the other side of the register counter and pick up the paperwork I need to complete the tax-exempt sale.)

Customer’s Friend: “Ugh. Can you go ANY slower?”

Me: *smiles* “Yes.” *I start writing more slowly and carefully, and take my time typing in the computer and carefully folding all her items* “Thank you for shopping at [Store].”

(I’m a cashier at a retail chain; this location is inside a mall. One day, a couple of kids, looking around 12 years old, approach my cash register. They hold up a paperclip and explain that they’re trying to replicate the famous “one red paperclip” experiment, in which you start out with a small, low-value object, such as a paperclip, and try to obtain something of much higher value through a series of barters. They ask if there’s anything in the store I can give them in exchange for the paperclip.)

Me: “Um… no, I can’t take a paperclip as payment. I don’t think there’s any store here that will.”

(They thank me and leave. Their speech sounded rehearsed and they didn’t look discouraged in the least, so I assume that they have already tried other stores in the mall and have every intention of trying more. The next customer in line comes to the counter.)

Customer: “Well, that was… bold.”

(I’ve actually always wanted to try this experiment myself, and the original “one red paperclip” experiment is possibly older than those kids are, so I’m rather impressed that they’ve heard of it and that they had the initiative to go for it. I guess they didn’t understand that you trade the items with people, and not stores. I wish I could track them down and find out if their experiment got anywhere!)

(I work at a popular fabric store that sells by the yard. Customers bring the full rolls of fabric to the counter and we cut off what they request. The prices on the rolls are the per yard prices. I was working this counter when a customer who had already been to us and gone to the check out came back with a cashier.)

Cashier: “This lady says the fabric she got was suppose to be 50% off.”

(I look at the cutting receipt and see that it was indeed 50% off, but the customer had gotten two yards of material, making her total the same as the regular per-yard price of the fabric.)

Me: “Ma’am, it is 50% off.” *pointing at the receipt* “See, this here is the price per yard of $5, regularly it’s $10 a yard.”

Customer: “But right there it says $10. That’s the price on the tag and the sign says 50% off.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but you bought two yards. The tag price is per yard, so you got your 50% off, it’s $10 because there’s two yards instead of one.”

Customer: “But, it should be $5 because it’s 50% off.”

Me: “It’s $5 per yard, you got two yards.”

Customer: *long pause* “I don’t get it.”

(I can’t think of any other way to explain it so I pull a calculator out from under the counter.)

Me: “Okay, you have this fabric that’s normally $10 a yard at 50% off.” *I type ten multiplied by zero-point-five into my calculator while she watches* “This is the per yard price, now you have two yards so I have to multiply this by two to get your total.” *I type two into the calculator and show her it comes out to ten* “So your total is now $10 for the two yards. Do you understand?”

Customer: “No.” *long pause* “It shouldn’t be that much because it’s 50% off.”

Me: *long pause and I try to think of any other way I can explain this to her*

Customer: “I was suppose to get a damage discount.”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t know.” *turning to cashier* “Can you adjust that at the register?”

Cashier: “Yeah! I can take care of that.”

(They leave and I think it’s all straightened out. Ten minutes later my manager asks for me over the headset.)

Manager: “Hey cutting counter, I have a lady that is telling me she didn’t get 50% off on her fabric. It rang up $10 but she says it’s supposed to be $5.”

Me: *exasperated* “[Manager], it’s $10 because she bought two yards. I explained this to her twice and showed her on a calculator. I have no idea how to explain it any other way.”

(Later, the fabric came back to the counter. Apparently she decided she didn’t want it.)

(At the store I work for, none of our items are scanned in; instead, cashiers key in prices by hand and automatically apply discounts to items that are on sale for the week. Because of this method, anytime a return is requested without a receipt, there are things that must be done before beginning to process the return. The first thing is to explain to the customer our no-receipt return policy, which is also on display next to EVERY register, not just the return registers. I am running a return register on this day, and a customer comes to my register to do a return. However, I am already suspicious of this as she has come from the back of the store holding several items, none of which are in bags.)

Customer: “Hey, I want to exchange these balloons for these shirts.”

(The customer is holding about 15 of our reusable number-shape balloons that are 20” tall and cost roughly $5 a piece.)

Me: “Okay, that shouldn’t be too difficult. Do you have your receipt with you?”

Customer: “Nah, I threw it away.”

Me: “Okay, well, there are two different things I can do. First, if you paid for those with a credit or debit card, and as long as you have that card on you, I can do a transaction lookup and process the return that way. The second–”

Customer: “No, I don’t have any of that; I paid in cash.”

Me: “That’s understandable; in that case, we can do a no-receipt return and you will get an exchange card. In cases of no-receipt returns, you will get the lowest selling price in the last 60 days. Lucky for you, though, you seem to have items that don’t ever go on sale, so you will get full price back for them. Before I start the process, though, I must verify that we still carry these exact balloons in the store, and also verify that their price has not changed recently; if they have gone on clearance then I have to give you the clearance price.”

Customer: “Oh, you guys still have them; I was just back there and saw them, and they’re the same price.”

(Again, this makes me suspicious, as the balloons and the shirts are in completely separate areas. In order to go past the balloons, you would have to go in the opposite direction of the shirts.)

Me: “While that may be true, ma’am, the company policy is that I must verify with the department manager. If they randomly choose this transaction to review during daily reports and don’t see me verify over the phone then I get in serious trouble. I hope you understand.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, I understand.”

(I page my coworker to verify the balloons for me.)

Me: “Hey, I just need to verify for no-receipt purposes that we still have the 20” balloons and that they’re the same price.”

Coworker: “Is this person a short, [Ethnicity] lady with long hair and wearing a baseball cap?”

Me: “Um, no, it’s not that one.”

Coworker: “Okay. I was just making sure. A woman of that description just grabbed about 10 or 15 balloons from over here and walked off towards the front really quickly.”

(As she is saying this, the woman she has described has walked up to stand next to the customer I have been talking to. Her hands are empty.)

Me: “Oh, yeah, I see what you were talking about now. That is definitely the one. Would you mind checking on that for me?”

Coworker: “Go ahead and page [Manager] and get him up there.”

Me: *to customer* “Sorry about the wait. It happens to be our truck day today, and that manager is unpacking a box. She asked me to check with another manager, as she isn’t sure how much longer she will be.”

(I see my customer service manager, walk over to her, and explain the issue that we have a possible fraud return attempt, and then I page the store manager from the phone near her so I can explain the situation to him. He comes to the front very quickly.)

Manager: “Here, let me see those balloons. I’m getting on up in age and want to make sure I locate the correct item.”

Customer: “Why is this taking so long? We just want to do an exchange for this stuff.”

Me: “I know, ma’am. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience; because we have to type everything in by hand, it makes no-receipt returns a real annoyance to process. I wish the system was more streamlined, but sadly that’s for corporate to decide. My manager is just going to verify the item and the price for us; as I said it is our truck day today which always makes things move even a little more slowly. Please be patient, though, and I’m sure we can get this sorted out in just a couple more minutes.”

(The customers step a few feet away and start whispering to each other. At about the same time, my store manager and customer service manager both walk back up to my register together.)

Manager: “So, did my cashier here ask you if you guys paid for this with a credit or debit card? If you did, we can do a lookup and give you the actual amount back. We’ve got a memo in the back talking about items moving to clearance in our party department, so sadly it’s going to take a few more minutes to verify the price on these balloons before we can return them.”

(I can tell he is stalling for time, as clearance adjustments are done at the beginning of the week and it’s the end of the week now. At this point the women have caught on that we know what they are attempting to do.)

Customer: “I don’t understand this at all. We were just wanting to buy the shirts, and we were asking if we would be able to return something if we didn’t have a receipt so that we could get the balloons. I think your cashier here just doesn’t understand.”

Me: “Oh, gosh. I’m so sorry! You’re right; I must have completely misunderstood you guys. You wanted to return something else and get the balloons with it. Well, yes, as you have witnessed, as long as we can verify we still carry it, we can return it for the lowest selling price in the last 60 days. Let me just go ahead and ring these shirts up for you now. And did you guys have the thing that you wanted to return with you?”

Customer: “Uh, yeah, it’s in the car, but, um… We actually have an appointment we need to get to, so we will just come back later to get those balloons.”

Me: “Okay, that sounds like a good idea. Just don’t forget to bring your item in with you the next time you come in.”

(The customers paid for their shirts and quickly left the store. We had actually been aware of these ladies for a while, but had never been able to catch them in the act. It wasn’t just by chance that my department manager witnessed the woman grabbing the balloons and heading to the front with them. She had forgotten to put her work vest on that morning, so the woman thought she was just another customer.)

(I have just finished ringing up a customer I’d been working with for about half an hour. She was in quite a hurry as she had a formal event that night and was going right from the store to her hair appointment. She had just left to run to the restroom before leaving, so I am surprised when she comes to find me a few minutes later.)

Customer: “I was just in the restroom and realized I didn’t have my bag. I don’t remember ever having it.”

(We look all around the department before the customer says she has to go. I get her information so I can get back in touch with her. I call security, and she saw on the camera where I’d given the customer her bag, but we stopped to look at some lipsticks a little ways away, and the camera couldn’t see us. I asked the customer service manager what to do.)

Me: “Can I grab her three products and get them to her? If we find her bag, we can just put them back, and if not, we can do an inventory adjustment.” *we are quite well-known for our customer service, so this is not an outrageous request*

Manager: “That’s really up to you. If you think she’s on the up-and-up, then go for it. You’ll probably get a customer for life out of it.”

Me: “I totally believe her. I’m pretty sure someone accidentally picked up her bag, because it was so busy and there were a lot of people around.”

(I quickly grabbed the three products the customer had purchased and was filling out a form so I could deliver them to her house when my coworker came and got me.)

Coworker: “Hey, a customer just called and said she picked up someone else’s bag by mistake. It had some [Brand] in it. Did you sell that to someone?”

Me: “Yes! I’m just about to deliver some replacements to that customer.”

Coworker: “Well, this lady said she’d bring the bag back tonight.”

(I got to take care of my customer, who was totally sweet and wanted to pay for the replacements I brought her because she didn’t want me to get in trouble. And the other customer brought the bag back with all of the items in it. Faith in humanity: restored. For the time being…)