Makes You Want To ‘Bang’ Your Head Against The Wall

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

Customer: “My computer made a bang noise, stopped working, then there was a weird smell… Is that a bad thing?”


Pull-Up That Customer’s File In The Future

| MN, USA | Family & Kids, Popular

(I work at a furniture retail store that has a children’s play area where parents can drop off their kids to play for an hour while shopping. Assuming we have room, kids need to be 37″-54″ tall and must be fully potty-trained, meaning not wearing diapers or pull-ups. These restrictions are written in two different places by the check-in window. A mother with two kids in a two-seat stroller set-up are in line behind my current customer. They fill out the card that is required to check kids in. After finishing up with my first customer, I greet the mother.)

Me: “How many kids today?”

Mom: “Two.”

Me: “All right, I have space for two. I just have to check TWO requirements first. I need to check heights; can you have them stand by the measuring wall?”

(The mom takes both three-year-old boys out of the stroller and they are both tall enough. Despite me saying that I had to check more than one thing, the mom tells the two kids that they can go inside. The two start cheering.)

Me: “And our other requirement is that any kids we take in must be fully potty-trained. Are they wearing pull-ups or diapers?”

Mom: “They are both wearing pull-ups.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t take them in, then. It’s against our policy.”

(The mom suddenly becomes very belligerent as her two kids start crying.)

Mom: “But the pull-ups are just in case! They had a long car ride here and I just put them on in case they had an accident while sleeping in the car.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t take them.”

Mom: “Well, what if I just take them to the bathroom and take the pull-ups off, then bring them back here?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s also strictly against policy. I still can’t.”

(Feeling bad for the two kids, I give them each a coupon to our bistro for $1 off so they can get a snack. Usually this mollifies parents, but the mom just storms off in a huff. Thinking that’s the end of it, I put the card with their info off to the side to toss later since I have another customer to speak to. About twenty minutes later, I spot one of my managers off to the side, speaking to someone I can’t see. I recognize the corner of the stroller from earlier and inwardly groan. Five minutes later, my manager calls the department phone.)

Me: “Hello, [My Name] in [Kids’ Play Area].”

Manager: “I just had a customer complain to me that you wouldn’t let her two kids in because they had pull-ups on.”

Me: “Ah, yes, I remember her. They were very… interesting.”

Manager: “Yeah, I told her that you can’t take the kids and she went on this rant about driving here and how she still puts a pull-up on her seven-year-old overnight and didn’t think it was a big deal…? And then she asked, ‘Well, what if I take their pull-ups off in the bathroom and try to check them in when someone else was at the door? And I told her, ‘We still won’t let you because that’s lying and I’ll be giving my employees your description.’”

Me: “Wow, that’s… yeah. I actually still have her card with her name and signature on it, so I can warn my coworkers.”

(My manager was pleased to hear that. I wrote a note on the card not to check this woman’s kids in and warned all my coworkers. Fortunately she didn’t try to come back.)


Stripped Of Your Cash, Part 2

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Popular

(I work at a furniture retail store. A young woman and a man who appears to be her boyfriend are buying a couple small items and the woman hands over a handful of $1 bills for the purchase.)

Me: *trying to make small talk* “All $1 bills? Let me guess, waitress or bartender?”

Woman: “No, actually. Stripper.”

(I stop counting the bills and my face turns bright red up to my ears.)

Me: “Oh! My next guess was, um, garage sale.”

(Fortunately they were nice about the whole thing, but I was very embarrassed for asking.)

Stripped Of Your Cash


Need Some Lights For All Their Darkness

| MN, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(I work at a furniture retail store as a cashier. I sometimes like to guess why customers are buying certain items, depending on the season, such as glasses for weddings, etc. We have a set of 100 white scentless tea-lights. A pair of customers, a man and woman who appear to be a couple, come to my register with about 10 packs of these, so I’m sure I know what they’re for.)

Me: “Lots of tea-lights! Let me guess, for a restaurant or a hotel?”

Woman: “Oh, no. Actually, we’re goth!”

(I burst out laughing. They look confused for a moment, but fortunately were understanding when I explained that that was the first time I’d gotten that answer.)


Time To Start A Relationship With A New Laptop

| PA, USA | Love/Romance, Technology

(I work in a computer store.)

Me: “Okay, so, what seems to be the problem with your laptop?”

Customer: “It won’t turn on and it smells like burnt plastic for some reason. I think the motherboard is fried.”

Me: “Let me take a look at it.”

(He removes it from the box and I am horrified to find that it appears to have been smashed and set on fire.)

Me: “So… a little fried, huh?”

Customer: “Yeah… my girlfriend and I broke up a week ago. So, can you fix it or do I have to buy a new one?”

(On the plus side, I made a sale that day.)

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