(I’m working on the checkout. The shop is quiet and I’m just tidying a bit behind the counter when a customer walks up to the self-serve machine. After scanning a few items, the customer starts gesticulating wildly and muttering under his breath.)

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “Why is it asking me about a bag? I don’t care about bags!”

Me: “Well, some customers use them, so it needs to ask so it can charge for them. If you’re not using one, so just hit zero and then enter.”

Customer: “Where do I do that?”

(I lean across to look at the screen and he’s still on the screen for scanning shopping.)

Me: “You need to press ‘finish and pay’ first.”

Customer: “I’ve literally tried that four times already.”

Me: “Well, let’s try it again and see if it works now.”

(It does. I walk him through the bag prompt again and go back to my till.)

Customer: “It’s just so impersonal! I hate the machines.”

(He keeps ranting as he walks towards the door, where he stops to complain to the security guard.)

Customer: “It’s just so impersonal! I’m never shopping here again!”

(He finally leaves.)

Me: “Next time, maybe, just walk up to my till?”

(It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I’m stocking the baking aisle, which has been largely cleaned out at this point, much to the frustration and anger of many last-minute shoppers.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you have any [Brand] chocolate fudge icing?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that particular icing is out of stock. People have been asking for it and we’ve already checked out back; there’s none in the store. I’m sorry.” *braces for angry response*

Customer: *sigh* “I guess that’s what I get for waiting until the last minute. You have a lovely Thanksgiving!” *walks off*

(I stood there dumbfounded. I was beginning to doubt there was such a thing as a polite last-minute shopper.)

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(We sell pallets of stone, and sometimes we have to stack them of top of the others when we’re running low on space. A man and his young daughter walk into our office.)

Parent: “Hi! I know it’s an odd question, but can we just walk around and look at your rocks? My daughter is six, and she really loves rocks.”

Me: “Absolutely! No problem at all.”

(Later, I walk outside to speak to a customer, and during our conversation I look around and realize the little girl is SKIPPING from the top of one double-stacked pallet to another. Her father is standing in front of the row of double-stacked pallets, grinning as his six-year-old daughter jumps down the row between the uneven pallets nearly eight feet in the air. I excuse myself from my customer.)

Me: “Sir? Sir! I’m sorry, but she really needs to get down from there!”

Parent: “Aww, really? But she’s having so much fun! I guess it might be an insurance risk for you guys, though, right?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Yes it is.” *thinking* “Do you not like your child?”

(I’m ringing up a customer, and it proves to be very difficult. There are lots of factors at play, like three discounts I have to apply. She’s doing multiple returns, and we’re also trying to figure out if her store credit card is still active. To top it all off, our registers are old as dirt and can’t handle all of the extra stuff I’m trying to do, so I have to restart the transaction multiple times. I’m pretty good at manipulating our antiquated system, and I’m usually fairly quick on the registers, but all in all, it takes a good ten minutes to process everything for her, and I have to do three separate transactions to make sure everything gets done correctly.)

Customer: “I’m sorry to put you through all of this and take up your time. Thank you so much for your patience.”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Oh, no, thank you! I’m so sorry it’s taking forever and I have to keep starting over. Thank you for waiting all this time!”

(She thanks me multiple times again and leaves. I tell my MOD about how difficult it was and what she said.)

Me: “Literally any other customer would have been yelling at me about eight minutes back, wanting to know why it was taking so long and why I couldn’t do it right the first time. She was fantastic! I’ll help her all day, any day.”

(I am a cashier in a membership-based wholesale warehouse. We have a food court that is located past the registers; the food court takes only cash. If a member doesn’t have cash, they are directed to the registers where a cashier can ring them up for the food in advance so they can use credit. Most people assume that they can just cut the line — which is almost always long — and pay for the food; this is not the case. I am in the middle of a transaction with a member when I notice a lady hovering towards the end of the register. I assume she is with the member I am currently ringing up so I just smile at her and continue the transaction. When I am finished, I wish the member a good night and start the next transaction. The lady at the end doesn’t leave with the previous member so I turn my attention to her.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you were with the member I was just ringing up, since you were standing at the end of the register. Can I help you?”

Member: “Yes, I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I am sorry, but did I do something to upset you? Maybe I can address it.”

Member: “No, it wasn’t you; it was her.” *points at a coworker working nearby*

Me: “Oh, okay, let me grab my supervisor.”

Member: “While you’re at it, ring me up for food. That’s why I was standing here.”

Me: “Oh, I am so sorry, but you are technically supposed to wait in line to pay for food with credit, but maybe you were misinformed about the procedure. Let me finish this transaction and I will ring you up real quick.”

Member: “And don’t forget to get your manager!”

(I realize that she is about to complain about me, and she said it was about my coworker so that I would willingly get a manager thinking I wasn’t in trouble. Knowing this, and also knowing that I did nothing wrong, I grab the supervisor I know pretty well, and who is fully aware that I would never insult or be rude to a customer. My supervisor pulls her to the side where she starts shrieking and pointing at me hysterically. A senior manager gets involved and she shrieks even more. The manager takes her to the refund register where I notice he is giving her the food for free. He and my supervisor later approach me.)

Manager: “That member claimed you made her feel inhuman, and were purposely ignoring her at the end of your register, like an animal. It was as if you personally did not like her and refused to even pretend that she existed. She said she never felt so ignored or dehumanized in her life.”

Me: “She was not standing in line, sir. She was at the end of the register where we load the carts, and she didn’t say a word, so I assumed she was with the member I was currently ringing.”

Manager: “Yes, that would make sense, now, wouldn’t it? But no, she expected you to somehow know she was standing in the wrong place because she wanted food, and when you didn’t acknowledge the food she wanted but did not tell you about, that was terrible customer service and you should be fired.”

Me: “Yes, here we are supposed to read minds. Right, so, I’m fired?”

Manager: “No, I gave her the food for free, and now I am pretending to yell at you until she leaves.”

(I would like to note that since then I have been promoted, and I am now the supervisor that has to deal with these types of people. I never let members step all over my cashiers, and NEVER give them anything for free when my cashiers are simply just doing their jobs.)