The Proud And Stupid

, | | Right | December 7, 2007

(This one came from my manager. A customer called Target and asked about a jacket that was on sale.)

Customer (very snooty): “Hello, I would like to know if you have any Corbin Wells jackets in stock.”

My Manager: “Corbin Wells? I don’t think we sell that brand.”

Customer (getting angry): “Well, it’s on page 10 in your ad!”

My Manager: “Let me see.” *she turns to page 10* “Ma’am, page 10 is electronics.”

Customer (extremely angry): “You DO have the ad in front of you, don’t you?”

My manager: “Yes, I have the TARGET ad in front of me.”

Customer: “Oh, Target? That’s not the ad I’m looking at.”

My manager: “What ad are you looking at, ma’am?”

Customer (still snooty): “Kohl’s.” *click*

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On The Need For Consumer IQ Requirements

| | Right | December 7, 2007

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to return this gas cooker…”

Me: “Sure, what’s the problem with it, madam?”

Customer: “The picture on the front of the box shows meat, although when I opened the box there was no meat inside…”

Me: *In astonishment* “Okay, I’ll just go and get my manager…”

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Like, Oh My God!

| | Right | December 6, 2007

College Girl #1: “Our friend is registered here, but we can’t find her name on the computer.”

College Girl #2: “Yeah, it’s broken.”

College Girl #1: “She’s like one of our best friends and we need to get her a present.”

College Girl #2: “Yeah.”

Me: “Oh, okay, well let’s try it again.”

(We walk over to the gift registry kiosk.)

Me: “So is your friend registered for a wedding or baby shower?”

(The two girls look at each other confused.)

College Girl #2: “…Wedding?”

Me: “Okay…what’s her first name?”

College Girl #1: “Sarah…”

Me: “Is that with an ‘h’ at the end, or is it just S-A-R-A?”

(The two girls look at each other confused.)

Me: “Okay, well the computer can search using the first two letters of the first name, so we’ll just put in S-A. And what is her last name?”

College Girl #1: *says something unintelligible that sounds like “Pheuyben”*

Me: “And how do you spell it?”

(The girls look at each other confused.)

College Girl #2: “Um…”

College Girl #1: “Uh…”

Me: “Does it start with an ‘f’ or a ‘p-h’?”

College Girl #1: “P-h.”

College Girl #2: “F.”

(The girls look at each other confused.)

(Oh. My. God. If I had “best friends” like that I’d swallow some Drano.)

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Making Excuses For A Lack Of Brain Cells

, , , | | Right | November 28, 2007

Customer: “Okay, I’m all set.”

Me: *rings the draperies she wants up* “Okay, your total is $768.22.”

Customer: “What?! Aren’t they on sale?”

Me: “No, only the pleated draperies are on sale.”

Customer: “What’s the difference? Why aren’t these ones on sale too?!

(Customer’s husband comes over.)

Husband: “What’s going on?”

Customer: *to Husband* “These panels aren’t on sale!”

Husband: “Oh… well, how much does it come up to?”

Customer: “They come out to like $800 bucks.”

Husband: “Well… what do you wanna do?”

Customer: *sigh* “There are signs EVERYWHERE saying that these are on sale.”

Me: “No, there are signs everywhere saying that the PLEATED draperies are on sale.”

Customer: “But that entire room has signs! They all say they’re 20% off.”

Me: “I’m sorry to say, but all the signs in that room all say, ‘SALE: All Pleated Draperies 20% Off.’ Want me to show you?”

Customer: “No, it’s fine… Whatever.”

(I finish ringing up the transaction.)

Customer: *signing receipt* “Ugh, it’s just misleading, you know? There are literally a hundred signs in that room that say that the draperies are on sale.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but they do specify what kind of draperies are on sale.”

Lady: “Well, I don’t buy draperies every day, so I don’t pay attention to stupid details like that!”

Me: “Okay… I hope they work out for you. Have a good day.”

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July, November, It’s All The Same

, , | | Right | November 27, 2007

Customer: “Where is your jewelry?”

Me: *standing behind three counters full of jewelry* “Right here, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, the jewelry on sale!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we aren’t having a sale on jewelry this month.”

Customer: “But I was here in July and it was on sale.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and now it’s November and it’s not on sale.”

Customer: “Well can’t you give me the sale prices, anyway?”

Me: “Ummm, no.”

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