Yes, Boarded Up Windows Will Send The Right Message

| | Right | April 2, 2009

(Our store was recently renovated with big glass front windows.)

Customer: “Wow, they renovated.”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Aren’t you afraid someone might come and shoot out the windows?”

Me: “No, actually, it hadn’t really crossed my mind.”

Customer: “Well, you should be concerned!”

Me: “I’m not. I can’t say I’ve worried over that.”

Customer: “Well, this IS downtown. These things happen! You should be worried!”

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Recipe For An Interesting Evening

| | Right | April 1, 2009

Female Customer: “Hi there! Where do you keep your ping-pong balls?”

Me: “Right over here.” *walks her over to them*

Customer: “Oh great! Now, where do you sell your Vaseline?”

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Dirty Deeds For Dirt Cheap Clothes

| | Right | April 1, 2009

(A customer walks out of our fitting rooms holding a top, and she has an angry look on her face.)

Customer: “This top is dirty, can I get a discount?”

Me: “It just looks like some of your makeup has rubbed off on it; I’m sure it will come out in the wash.”

Customer: “It isn’t makeup – can you give me a discount?”

Me: “Uh, I’m pretty sure it is.”

Customer: *getting louder* “It’s not OK! I dropped it on the ground and stood on it!”

Me: “You stood on it and made it dirty, and you want a discount?”

Customer: “…I’ll just go get another size then…”

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Math Saves The Day Yet Again

| | Right | April 1, 2009

Me: “Welcome to ***, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was calling about a corner fireplace you are supposed to have on sale.”

Me: “Yes ma’am, let me get you a price on that and check our stock.”

(I leave, check the sale price ($299), and come back to the phone.)

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “Looks like the unit is $299.99 on sale.”

Customer: “WHAT? I have a piece of paper right here that says it should be $315!”

Me: “Oh, sorry. I said it’s on sale for $299.”

Customer: “What the h***, it says it right here on my piece of paper! Corner fireplace for $315!

Me: “Ma’am, $299 is less than $315.”

(There’s a very long silence.)

Customer: *click*

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An Insurance Company’s Nightmare

| | Right | March 31, 2009

(A customer came in looking for an item to prop up books and papers, making them easier to read without having to use your hands.)

Me: “You’re looking for a copy holder. We have several different types, and they’re right over here.”

Customer: *looks over selection* “These won’t work. I need one that will attach to my steering wheel in my car.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t carry anything like that. These are just meant to go on your desk next to your computer.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you don’t carry that. Why don’t you sell a book holder for a steering wheel?”

Me: “Maybe because we don’t want you to read while you’re driving?”

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