Sticking To Your Guns

| | Right | December 25, 2007

*customer hands over a tree skirt for her Christmas tree*

Customer: “Thats all! And I have a coupon…”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but it appears that the tree skirt is already on sale, so you can’t use the coupon.”

Customer: “Really? It doesn’t say anywhere that it’s on sale.”

Me: “Well, the ad that the coupon comes in also says that ‘All Christmas decorations’ are on sale for 30% off. Your coupon is for 40% off, so its not that big of a difference. It says on the coupon that you cannot use it on sale items…”

Customer: “Can’t you just give me the regular price and discount it with the coupon?”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re only losing out on…6 dollars. I really don’t want to lose my job over your 6 dollars.”

Customer: “I BELIEVE I’M BEING CHEATED! I’M NEVER SHOPPING AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT AGAIN!”

*customer comes back 2 hours later to buy the exact same tree skirt*

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Ask A Stupid Question, Part 2

, , | | Right | December 20, 2007

(I’m standing right in front of about ten racks of toys and a giant sign that says “Toy Shop.”)

Customer: “Do you carry toys?”

Me: *turns, looks up at the sign* “Nope.”

(Customer walked off to continue their search.)

 

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Today, All My Questions Shall Be Stupid

, , | | Right | December 17, 2007

Customer: “What size is this rug?”

Me: *reading label* “54” x 72″.”

Customer: “So how big is that?”

Me: “In centimetres? It’s…”

Customer: “No, in inches.”

Me: “It’s 54 inches x 72 inches.”

Customer: “OK. And what colour is it?”

Me: “Lilac.”

Customer: “Right… and would it look good in my lounge?”

Me: “I don’t know… I’ve never seen your lounge.”

Customer: “No, I guess you haven’t. Do you think I have room for it?”

Me: “…”

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A Good Time To Excuse Yourself

, , | | Right | December 15, 2007

(I and others overhear this conversation between an employee and a customer.)

Employee: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to return this.” (Heaves a large propane tank, the kind used for barbecue grills, onto the counter.)

Employee: “Why?”

Customer: “It’s leaking.”

(At this point, all within earshot — four managers, the employee, three other employees, I, and two other customers — slowly turned our heads towards the leaking tank, careful not to make any sudden movements.)

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Zero Short Term Memory

, , | | Right | December 11, 2007

Customer: “Hi, I have my car down the loading dock and I’m parked where it says to park, but there’s no button to call your store or anything down there.”

Me: “No, there’s not because the elevator is shared with three levels of stores. We don’t own it; the mall does. You have to call us when you’re there.”

Customer: “How do I call? There’s no button.”

Me: “With your cellphone…”

Customer: “Oh, pfft, I never bring a cellphone with me.”

Me: “But didn’t you just call? How did you call earlier?”

Customer: “With a cellphone!” *looking at me like I’m stupid*

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