Like Comic Book Guy, Except Much Prettier

, | | Right | March 30, 2008

(Background: I’m the only female employee at the comic/card shop, and I was hired for my comic knowledge.)

Customer, to my male co-worker: “Did Booster Gold have a series before the new series?”

(Male coworker looks to me because he’s the card guy.)

Me: “Yeah. Early nineties. We’ve got a couple of back issues in the dollar box.”

Customer, to my male coworker: “So you guys have it?”

Coworker: “If she says we have it, we have it.”

Customer, finally looking at me: “Oh, you know about comics?”

Me: “That’s why they hired me.”

Customer: “But you’re a girl!”

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Yet Still They Come

| | Right | March 28, 2008

(Due to a power outage we had to close our store. The lights were all out and there were 2 large green bristol board signs displaying “CLOSED, NO POWER, SORRY”. A woman walks up, walks through the entryway and tries the door to the store proper, which is locked. She then turns around goes to the exit door, pulls it open and walks in. I stop her.)

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, there is a power outage. We’re closed.”

Woman: “Does that mean I can come in?”

Me: “No. ‘Closed’ means you can’t come in.”

Woman: “Then how come THEY’RE allowed in?” *points to people behind cash registers all wearing store aprons*

Me: “Uh…they work here.”

Woman: *leaves angrily*

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Scamming In Plain Sight

| | Right | March 26, 2008

(A customer ‘drops’ a brick, giving it a little chip. He then proceeds to join the line.)

Cashier: “Hello, sir, how can I help?”

Customer: “There’s a chip in this brick. I’d like to get a discount please.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, only cracks or serious fractures would warrant a discount on bricks. A chip won’t damage the function or stability of the brick.”

(The customer proceeds to lift up the brick and forcefully drops it on the ground.)

Customer: “Now it’s broken! Can I get a discount now?”

Cashier: “No, but you can sure as h*** pay for that.”

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The Da Vinci Code 3: Running Out Of Conspiracies

| | Right | March 24, 2008

(The store’s power went out one day so we were using a pocket calculator to figure out totals and writing up paper receipts.)

Customer: “I’m not ready to pay yet, but can you tell me what I will owe?”

(I punch some numbers into the calculator, which returns 26.595.)

Me: “Your total will be $26.59.”

(When the customer comes back to pay, the power has just come back on and our computer system is up and running so I enter her purchase information.)

Me: “Okay, the total comes to $26.60.”

Customer: “You told me $26.59 before.”

Me: “Oh yeah, it’s because it was something like 26.595 and I just truncated the number instead of rounding it, but the computer rounds automatically.”

Customer: “I find it very interesting that it would round in favor of itself.”

Me: “Um, that’s just how rounding works. If it had been 26.594 it would have rounded down.”

Customer: “I just find it *very* interesting that the customer loses out on this.”

Me: “…”

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At Least She’s Being Honest

, | | Right | March 24, 2008

(A lady comes in with a bag of shirts.)

Lady: “I need to return these.”

Me: “Sorry we can’t take those back, they’re opened…”

Lady: “Why the hell not!?”

Me: “You can only return the shirts if they’re unopened. It’s the store policy.”

Lady: “Bulls**t, you’re trying to rip me off! You’re suppose to take these back–they don’t fit my husband!”

Me: “If you read the policy you would know you couldn’t bring them back, ma’am.”

Lady: “What store policy?!”

(I point to the store policy above and behind me on a red sign in big white letters. The lady snatches the bag of shirts and starts stomping off. My manager, who was watching the whole time, finally says something.)

Manager: “I’m sorry ma’am, next time you should read the policy–”

Lady: *cuts off my manager* “I DON’T F**KING READ!!”

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