More Than One Chimp By The Name Of George

| Bakersfield, CA, USA | Right | September 19, 2011

(I am working putting items on a display rack and a customer comes up to me.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you know George?”

(I am thinking she is asking if someone named George works here.)

Me: “George who?”

Customer: “You know, the George.”

Me: “George? George Bush, George Foreman? George…who?”

Customer: “You know the George.”

(At this point, the customer puts her hands up to her arm pits and starts acting like a monkey.)

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Do you mean Curious George?”

Customer: “Yes! Yes, The Curious George…do you have him?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry we don’t have any Curious Georges.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you!”

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Eyesight Only As Good As Hindsight

| Anamosa, IA, USA | Right | September 18, 2011

(I don’t work here. I am wearing work boots, jeans, and a muscle shirt, not anything close to the employee dress code. An elderly woman wearing glasses approaches me looking confused.)

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Can you help me find epoxy?”

(Having just been in that section, I decide to just show her where it is.)

Me: “Uh, sure. Follow me.”

(I take her back to the hardware department and explain to her the different kinds and recommend one for her.)

Customer: “Thank you so much.”

Me: “You’re welcome, Have a nice day.”

Customer: *adjusts glasses* “Oh my, you don’t work here, do you?”

Me: “No, I do not.”

Customer: “Well, thank you again sir.” *walks off*

(My buddy comes by at this time and asks what I was doing.)

Me: “Helping an old lady. I hope she’s not driving.”

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Scented For An Electrifying Experience

| Illinois, USA | Right | September 16, 2011

Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Yes, can I help you with something?

Customer: “I need to speak with your supervisor.”

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Your restrooms smell like electricity!”

Me: “I’ll…get a manager.”

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Honesty In A Modern Age

| Lakewood, CO, USA | Right | September 15, 2011

Me: “Hey, you look like you’re looking for something in particular. What brings you into [store] today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to buy a USB port. Where you guys keep them?”

Me: “So, what is it you’re trying to do? Do you just need a USB hub? Are you trying to get more USB ports on your computer?”

Customer: “No, I just need a USB port. My friend’s trying to get some pictures off her computer.”

Me: “Oh, so you need a flash drive?”

Customer: *laughing* “Yeah, I guess it’s been one of those days. I’m sure you’re going to go and tell all your co-workers about this aren’t you? That’s fine, I was an idiot.”

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Narcoleptic Nancy’s Inconvenient Nap

| New Jersey, USA | Right | September 14, 2011

(There are a dozen people in line waiting for three fitting rooms.)

Customer: “Someone’s been inside room #1 for a long time.”

(I walk over and the other customers confirm. I’m told no one has come out of that particular room for 15 minutes. The door is indeed locked. I knock and there’s no response. I knock harder and still no response.)

Me: “That’s weird. The door is locked, not stuck. It can only be locked from the inside or with a key. Did you see who went in there?”

Customer: “Yes, some lady.”

(I bang on the door this time. Again, no response. I go to get the key and open the door. Inside is a fully dressed lady sitting on the bench sleeping. Store clothes are strewn on the floor. I have to shake her to wake her up.)

Lady: *slurred* “What?”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re sleeping in our fitting room and there’s a line of people waiting. You weren’t responding when we knocked, so I had to come in to check on you.”

Lady: “Oh! My goodness, I’m so sorry! I’m really tired, and on top of that, I’m a very sound sleeper!”

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