A Mother’s Love

| | Right | May 11, 2008

(A pimply, overweight 18 year-old boy dumps a satin black flame-job man thong on the counter.)

Boy: “Uh, can I return this? My mom got it for me.”

1 Thumbs
6,770
VOTES

Sheet Happens

| | Right | May 10, 2008

(Customer calls our department.)

Me: “Bath and Bedding Department…”

Customer: “Yes, do you guys carry sheets?”

Me: “Yes we do.”

Customer: “Do you carry king sized sheets?”

Me: “Yes we do.”

Customer: “Do you have a lot of sheets?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We have a wide variety of sheets.”

Customer: “Good. I need you to put on hold for me a green set. Then again, put on hold a rose color too. Oh, and ivory and white. And some navy. I’ll be in to pick out what I want.”

Me: “But what kind of sheets? We have several brands and thread counts to choose from…”

Customer: “What is your name?”

Me: *gives her my name*

Customer: “Okay, I am going to come into your store and find you! Just be sure to get me those colors. I’ll be there in an hour!” *hangs up*

(Of course, she never showed up.)

1 Thumbs
1,086
VOTES

Aloha, Mofo

| | Right | May 9, 2008

Me: “Hello! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hablas espa√±ol?”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Customer: “Why not? Why didn’t your parents teach you?”

Me: “Because we’re Hawaiian.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not an excuse.”

Me: “Do you speak Hawaiian?”

Customer: “Of course not, I’m Colombian.”

Me: “Well, that’s no excuse.”

1 Thumbs
6,789
VOTES

Too Bad They Don’t Sell Brains Too

| | Right | May 4, 2008

(I’m shopping in the dollar store, fully clothed in my Taco Bell uniform. I even have the hat on, too.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir, do you work here?”

Me: “Does it LOOK like I work here?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh…well, do you know how much this is?”

Me: “It’s a dollar.”

Customer: “How did you know that if you didn’t work here?”

Me: “Lady, do you have ANY idea where you are right now? You are in a dollar store. Do you know what that means?”

Customer: “That’s impossible.”

Me: “…what?”

Customer: “This store doesn’t sell dollars.”

(At this point I didn’t know whether I should slap her or retreat and laugh till I puked.)

1 Thumbs
3,608
VOTES

Customer Knows Best

| | Right | May 3, 2008

(We are running this little sale that offers the customer 20% off on regular priced item.)

Customer: “So, can I use the sale coupon on sale items?”

Me: “Unfortunately, the coupon is only good on regularly priced item.”

Customer: “What about sale items?”

Me: “It can only be used on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “But the shoes were $109, and now they are $79.”

Me: “We can only use it on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “But it’s marked down!”

Me: *losing patience, but still with a smile* “I’m sorry, but again we can only use it on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “Well, then make my shoes regular priced and give me my 20%!”

Me: “Sure, I’d be happy to. You grand total comes to $87.20.”

Customer: “Finally! I swear, all you people try to do is swindle us out of buying sale items with that regular priced coupon. But I see through what you’re trying to do.”

Me: “Yes. I’ll do everything I can to give you the best deal you want.”

1 Thumbs
4,848
VOTES
Page 816/845First...814815816817818...Last
« Previous
Next »