Guilt Trip: FAIL

| | Right | September 4, 2008

Customer: “Hey, you guys sell fish food and supplies, but do you have any fish?”

Me: “No, sorry sir, we don’t sell pets.”

Customer: “Where do they sell pets?”

Me: “A pet store?”

Customer: “Is there one of those near here?”

Me: “Uhm, I really don’t know.”

Customer: “Will you take me to it?”

Me: “… no?”

Customer: “Sam Walton would take me to it!”

Me: “Sam Walton is dead.”

1 Thumbs
2,523
VOTES

Baptism On A Budget

| | Right | September 3, 2008

Customer: “I need some help with the animal watering troughs.”

Me: “Sure, they are outside. Let’s go look at them.”

(Outside…)

Customer: “Can I see if I fit in it?”

Me: “Um, ok.”

(The customer climbs in.)

Customer to companion: “Ok, now you get in too, see if we will both fit.”

(The customer’s companion climbs in.)

Customer: “Ok, this will work, but do you have any nicer looking ones, without dents? We are using it for a baptismal font.”

1 Thumbs
1,317
VOTES

More Like The Gas Beneath My Pants

| | Right | September 2, 2008

Me: “Hello, ¬†*** Music. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you had the sheet music for ‘Hero’.”

Me: “Mariah Carey?”

Customer: “No! Bette Midler!”

Me: “Oh! ‘Wind Beneath My Wings!’ Sure, ¬†we’ve got it!”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “The song is called ‘Wind Beneath My Wings.’ It’s one of the most popular vocal arrangements on the market.”

Customer: “No, it’s that one about her hero.”

Me:¬†”Yeah…” *sings* “… did you ever know that you’re my hero?¬†You’re everything I wish I could be…¬†I can fly higher than an eagle… and you are the WIND BENEATH MY WINGS.”

Customer: “Yes! That’s the one!” *sings* “‘Did you ever know that you’re my HERO!’¬†Can you hold a copy for me?”

Me, giving up: “Of course…”

(Later on…)

Coworker 1: “So, who was on the phone?”

Coworker 2: “… and why are they the wind beneath your wings?”

1 Thumbs
3,126
VOTES

The Logic Is Weak In This One

| | Right | September 2, 2008

(A man comes out of the fitting room with a pair of pants and talks to my coworker.)

Customer: “So… it says here on the hanger, that it’s size 34. The tag says 34, and this other tag says 34. But there’s no freaking way I can fit into these! So what does that mean?

Coworker: “Well, I guess that means you’re not a size 34…”

Customer: “Oh. Thanks.”

1 Thumbs
2,244
VOTES

We Stand Up For Our Own

, | | Right | September 1, 2008

(It’s Christmastime, which is always hellish at our video game store. There is a giant line running all the way to the back of the store, and I am serving a young boy and his grandfather.)

Me: “Your total comes to $68.98.”

Customer: “What? That’s too high. That game was fifty dollars.”

Me: “Oh, the game is actually $59.99.”

Customer: “I told you I didn’t want any of your extra s***. I just want this game thing he wants.”

Me: “I’m sorry you misread the price sir, but that language in unacceptable in this store, especially with so many young people nearby.”

Customer: “You know what, I didn’t come in here for your attitude. I came in here to buy my stupid grandson’s stupid game!”

Me: “Then it’s $68.98…”

Customer: “These games are so absolutely stupid. You people waste your time and your money on this s***! You people are all fat and unemployed and pathetic! You game people need to get f***ing jobs!”

Another customer in line: “She’s doing her job right now, idiot.”

Another customer in line #2: “Get lost, jerk!”

Me: “That line behind you is composed of gamers, sir.”

(At this point, the entire lineup starts yelling at the guy that he’s a jerk.)

Customer: *flees the store*

(For the next half hour every single customer, most of them probably gamers, tells me that I don’t deserve that kind of treatment, and apologizes for him. It is easily one of the best days I’ve ever had at work.)

1 Thumbs
6,723
VOTES
Page 804/858First...802803804805806...Last
« Previous
Next »