Now You’re Toying With Him

| Cornelius, OR, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It is near Christmas time. At about six pm this woman comes up with her daughter who is about five years old. As I am ringing up their items an older gentleman comes in. He’s overweight with a red nose from the cold, a thick white beard, half rimmed glasses, a really old Santa hat on his head, and a red and black plaid fleece coat on. As he walks by the little girl stares at him in awe.)

Little Girl: *whispering to her mother* “Was that Santa?”

Mother: *smiling* “Well, I don’t know. It could be!”

(The little girl then looks at me for confirmation and I shrug.)

Me: “Well, we DO have a landing strip on the roof for his sleigh. Where do you think we get all of our toys from?”

(She just looked so excited as I saw the magic fill her eyes. The mother smiled at me and as they left I heard the girl say.)

Little Girl: “Can we look for the sleigh?”

Mother: “Sure!”


Christmas Is Just A Game To Her

| Winston-Salem, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Time

(I am working in the service department for a retail company. We are closing early on Christmas Eve. It’s currently 45 minutes till we close and a phone call comes in.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m looking for this game, [Game]; do you have it?”

Me: *looking up the game* “Yes, we do, ma’am.”

Caller: “Great, what time do you close?”

Me: “We close in about 45 minutes.”

Caller: “I’ll be there in an hour.”

Me: “Ma’am, we close in 45 minutes. We won’t be open in an hour.”

Caller: “I’ll be there in an hour and you better be open or I’m breaking in.”

Me: “Ma’am, you have to be here before five pm or we will be closed.”

Caller: “I’m buying this game for my kid. You ruin my Christmas and I’ll ruin yours.”

Me: “Ma’am, we will be leaving at five pm to have Christmas with our families. Please be here before five. Thank you.” *hangs up*

(As the employees were leaving about 5:15 there was a woman banging on the doors and screaming obscenities about how she would ruin Christmas for everyone.)


Got Belly Offended

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Spouses & Partners

(A customer asks if we carry anklets, so I lead him to our selection.)

Customer: “Don’t you have any for belly dancing? Like the ones that jingle?”

Me: “Unfortunately not. Is your wife a belly dancer?”

Customer: “What, do you have to be a belly dancer to buy these or something? Of course she’s not a belly dancer. What a stupid question.”

Me: “Uh… I only asked because you had said… never mind. Let me know if you need anything else.”

(A few minutes later, he comes to the register to purchase the anklet. I ring him up, hand him his purchase, and wish him a Merry Christmas.)

Customer: “You’re a dumb mother-f*****, aren’t you?”

(I still don’t know what his problem was!)


Trying To Take You For A (Helicopter) Ride

| Cambridge, ON, Canada | Holidays, Liars & Scammers

(It’s just after Christmas in a very popular store that sells mostly infomercial products, with a few random toys and accessories. A woman is waiting in line to make an exchange and I can tell immediately it isn’t going to go well. She is tapping her feet, huffing and puffing, and I’m pretty sure she wants to blow my house down.)

Woman: *slams bag down on the counter* “I want a new helicopter; this one is a piece of shit! We took it out of the box and it only went 5 feet off the ground then fell down and never worked again. I want a new one or my money back, right NOW!”

Me: “I’d be happy to help you with that. Let me take a look here and see what the problem is.”

(I’m the resident helicopter pilot and repair woman, so I know everything about them. Immediately I notice that the chopper is mangled. Chunks missing out of the wings, the stabilizer fell off, the tail rotor is missing, one of legs is bent. This is not normal flight wear and tear.)

Me: “Oh, wow, I see this little guy is quite beat up. You said you only flew it about five feet high and it fell, then never worked again?”

Woman: “Yes, that’s exactly what I said. It’s the truth, so gimme my new one now!”

Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am. For starters, our exchange warranty covers manufacturer defects only. Second, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time with these choppers and I know for a fact that yours did not come out of the box like this, nor did 5 feet of up and down flight cause such damage. Despite their size and weight, they’re rather durable. Watch. *I pick a tester one up, hurl it at the floor and fly it back to me from across the store* Lastly, if you had of been honest with me I would’ve been more likely to consider the exchange, but you lied to my face.”

Woman: “ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR, in front of ALL these people?!”

Me: “Yes. Yes, I am. Please take your helicopter and vacate the store. I will not subject myself or my staff to this type of belligerent attitude. Here is our corporate customer service phone number, our store number is [number], and my name is [My Name]. I look forward to dismissing your complaint.”

(After a few more choice words from this woman and the look of complete disbelief that I never gave her what she wanted, she reluctantly turned to leave. On her way out she hollered some expletives in front of many other customers, including children. The next few people in line were kind enough to mention that I handled that very well and they also would not have caved in to her demands.)


Toying With The Welfare State

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Holidays

(I’m the toys’ department manager at a major retail store. When an item gets damaged we do a special mark down on it to try to sell it. We can do this two times before the price is brought to zero and we throw it out. A lady comes up to me with a toy that has been marked down and I clearly write “as is” on the tag.)

Customer: “This toy is ripped open and dirty. Can you take some money off it for me? ”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. It’s already been marked down and clearly states the product is being sold “as is.” I’m not taking any more off.”

Customer: “Well, I see there are two stickers on it! The one on the bottom says 35% off and the one on top says 25% off! Why is the lesser one on top?”

Me: “When I first marked it down it took 35% off the original price. Since it didn’t sell I did another mark down on it for 25% off the previous 35% off price. On top of that the toy was already on clearance before it was marked down. You are getting a $30 toy for $5.72 right now. If I take any more off the system will automatically delete that toy out of our inventory and I will have to throw it away.”

Customer: “Well, I live on welfare and don’t have that much money! What do you suppose I do for my son for Christmas?”

Me. “The local church has a program that gives low income family’s new clothes for Christmas and there is always Toys for Tots. You could try them if you have difficulty affording presents.”

Customer: “You just think I’m white trash, don’t you? That’s why you won’t take more money off for me! You think you’re better than me because you have a fancy job and no kids to support! You don’t know how rough Christmas time is when you have kids!”

Me: “Actually I have a four-year-old son.”


(She then threw the toy on the floor and stormed away…)

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