A Little Nuts About The Naming

| North Attleboro, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular

Me: *to an elderly customer* “Did you find everything you were looking for, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, you don’t carry the peanuts in the can anymore.”

Me: “Actually, we do still carry peanuts right over here.”

(I then walk her to the correct fixture, pick up the can of peanuts we sell, and hold it out to her. She makes a face at me, then pushes by my outstretched hand and takes something else off the fixture.)

Customer: “Not those ones! These are the peanuts I wanted.”

Me: “…Ma’am, those are cashews.”

Customer: “Yes, but I call them peanuts. You guys are always out of them!”

Me: “Well, if you’re asking for peanuts, we’re not looking for cashews when we check the stockroom…”

H2-Slow To Realize, Part 2

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(We have plumbers working on the building, and they have to turn off the water. I put an “out of order” sign on the restroom and went about my day until they finish. A while later a lady comes in.)

Lady: “I’m going to use the restroom. Where is it?”

Me: “I’m so sorry but the water is turned off so the restroom is out of order.

(She stares at me blankly and repeats her request to use the restroom.)

Me: “I’m sorry; the restroom is out of order. There is no water to the building right now while they fix a leak.”

Lady: *still looks confused* “But we just drove for two hours!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t matter where you drove from or how long it took. There is NO WATER in the building and NO RESTROOM! You have to go somewhere else!”

(She finally got the idea and left. Did she drive for two hours just to use our toilet? It’s not that special, I assure you.)

Related:

H2-Slow To Realize

I Literally Just Told You

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(My store hands out this cash coupon where if you spend a certain amount in a previous purchase you get a certain dollar amount off your purchase on a selected weekend in the future. During that weekend if you didn’t receive a cash coupon we send out a regular 15% off your purchase coupon to use. Neither can be combined.)

Customer: “Ugh, how do you know it’s not combinable!?”

Manager: “Well, I’m literate and read the back of the coupon where it says it can’t be combined with any other discount.”

Got This Money-Saving Thing Wrapped

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Money, Popular

(Our store does complimentary gift wrapping. We are required to ask if the gift is for a man or woman. A man comes up to the register and purchases a gift. He mentioned while looking around earlier that he is a little low on cash.)

Me: “Your total comes to [Price]. Do you need this gift wrapped?”

Customer: “Is it free?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Then yes.”

Me: “Is it for a man or woman?”

Customer: “Why, would it be $0.70 cheaper if it was for a woman?”

(I almost dropped his purchase I was laughing so hard. I gave him a 10% discount for making my day!)

The Customer Is Not Always Copyright, Part 2

| Lincoln, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

(I am working at the customer service desk at a well-known box store. A customer comes in to return some movies. He looks a little shady and his voice/actions are entirely monotone, but he seems normal enough.)

Customer: “I would like to return these.” *he dumps a few movies on my counter; they are all unwrapped*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Since these are already open I can’t return them for you. If there is something wrong with them, I can exchange them for copies of the same discs.”

Customer: “No. I want to return these. You need to accept them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but copyright law prohibits me from—”

Customer: “You know, I could just sue you.”

(I think he’s joking, so I laugh.)

Customer: “I have won lawsuits against [Fast Food chain] and [Giant box store] and I will sue your a**.”

(I’m still not entirely convinced he’s serious. His voice is almost cartoonishly monotone and he’s showing no signs of anger.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s nothing I can do unless you want to exchange these.”

Customer: *picks up DVDs* “I’ll be back. I’ve won a million dollars against [Fast Food chain]. You will lose.”

Me: *calling after him* “Good luck with that!”

(I never see him again.)

Related:
The Customer Is Not Always Copyright