Young And Free From Absolutely Nothing

| UK | Family & Kids

(I am 16 and have just left home due to difficult circumstances. I have a weekend job in an independent health food store. A customer walks in; there are two of us behind the till and she begins talking to the other member of staff.)

Customer: “I’ve had a terrible morning. I woke up to find the high winds had destroyed one of my fence panels, and then my husband couldn’t bring me to town so I had to wait for the bus in the rain…”

(She carries on the mundane story about everything wrong in her life. Then suddenly she looks at me and says:)

Customer: “You’re lucky you’re so young and don’t have any problems!”


Working In A High Pressure Environment

| UK | Crazy Requests

(A customer comes in to the health food store on Saturday.)

Customer: “I have high blood pressure and need something to make it go down. I have a test on Monday to get my HGV license back.”

Me: “I don’t think we have anything that will work that quickly, but exercise would also help.”

(We point out some remedies that might be useful.)

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “£8.99.”

Customer: “Okay I wasn’t looking to spend that much. I’ll do some exercise!”

(Miracle cure wanted or what?!)


You’re Speaking To Miss. Ogyny

, | Dallas, TX, USA | Bigotry

(I worked as a supervisor in the repair department of a large electronics retail store. I was also the only girl in my department. A customer called in one day…)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to speak to a supervisor.”

Me: “I’m the supervisor on duty right now. How can I help you?”

Customer: “A supervisor is supposed to be a man…”


A Bad Customer Virus

| UK | Awesome Customers

(I recently bought a new laptop from a large chain-store, which failed due to a broken hard drive. I take it back into the store and make my way up to the customer service desk. The girl behind the counter looks really nervous, and I guess that she’s pretty new to the job.)

Me: “Hi! I’m wondering if one of your tech guys might be able to take a look at this laptop I got from you last month. I think the hard drive decided it didn’t want to be a hard drive any more.”

Cashier: “Oh, um, gosh, I’m so sorry about that, but… er….” *she almost looks like she’s wincing when she says this* “We don’t have the facilities here to open up the laptop and take a look. It would have to be sent to our head office for them to look at it. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience this causes.”

Me: “That’s fine. I kind of guessed you guys might only have tech support at the larger stores and even they need to send stuff back to get it thoroughly looked at, so it’s not a problem.”

Cashier: “Really? Oh, wow! Ok, great, but, uh, the other thing I need to say is…” *she winces a little again* “…it may take a few weeks for them to check it out, fix it, and send it back, and if the hard drive is gone it means you might have lost data that we can’t restore. I’m sorry!”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ve got some parts from an old laptop I can mash together to get something running in the meantime. I only need it for the Internet and a few Word documents, anyway!”

Cashier: *suddenly looking relieved* “Oh, okay, great! I’ll start filling out the form.”

Me: “Okay… I give in. I need to ask. How many people get angry at you when you let them know about the timescales?”

Cashier: “Um, pretty much all of them. I’ve only been here a week and so far I’ve been called pretty much every type of slur you can think of, I’ve had someone throw their empty coffee cup at me, and one guy tried to take a swing at me the other day because he didn’t accept the fact his computer was full of viruses that weren’t anything to do with us. He was adamant I’d installed the viruses on purpose!”

Me: “You’re kidding?! I’ve had some morons in my time in retail, but I didn’t know they’d gotten THAT bad!”

(We finish the form and I head next door to a doughnut store, get a doughnut, and go back into the computer store to hand it over to the cashier.)

Me: “This is to say sorry for the a**-wipes you have to put up with to get to the few remaining customers who have manners!”


Ball Games

| WI, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

(I work at a hardware store that sells seasonal outdoor games like badminton sets and the like. I ask a couple who are shopping if they need any help.)

Female Customer: “Oh, yes, actually—”

Male Customer: *interrupting his wife* “Yes, we were wondering if you carry testicle toss.”

(She immediately goes red from embarrassment and looks to me apologetically.)

Me: *laughing with the husband* “Yes, we do. That will be in our toys section this way.”

Male Customer: “What do you call it? Because we call it testicle toss!”

Me: “I see this. Most people just call it Ladder Toss.”

(She apologized again to me about her husband’s way of describing the game and they left.)

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