Engaged In A Search

, | Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre, Love/Romance, Popular

(I am shopping with my fiancé, and step out of the store to take a phone call. When I re-enter the store, I can’t find my fiancé.)

Employee: “Miss, can I help you find something?”

Me: “No, I don’t thinks so. I’ve lost my fiancé.”

Employee: “We don’t sell those, but good luck!”

That Explains My New Ferrari

| USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Popular

(One month, we’re asking customers if they would like to make a donation for poor families in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, no one is having much luck. Finally, one man I ask agrees to donate five dollars.)

Me: “Oh, thank you! You’re the first person today to say yes!”

Customer: “Not much luck, huh?” *he leans forward, smiles, and lowers his voice* “You wanna know a trick?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “So we can donate one, three, or five dollars, right? Instead of asking ‘Would you like to donate?’ ask if they want to donate one dollar. Then as the month goes by, gradually raise the number to three, then five. You’ll get lots of people to donate one dollar, and if they come back later they’ll remember you, trust you, and agree to donate more.”

Me: “I’m not sure if it’ll work, but thanks!”

(A week goes by…sure enough, his idea is working! He comes back again later and I tell him about my sudden success after trying his trick.)

Me: “Where’d you learn that, anyway?”

Customer: *smiles wide* “I’m a car salesman.”

This Item Is High In Metal

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a music/movie store. We often get calls to see if we have something in stock before the customer comes to pick it up, especially if it is an uncommon title.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Can you tell me if you have something?”

Me: “Sure! What is the title of it?”

Customer: “Creamed corn.”

Me: “Are you referring to the band Korn?”

Customer: “No, the food. Why would I want a band?”

Me: “Because this is a music store.”

Customer: “Look, just tell me if you’re out!”

Me: “But we’re always out…”

Customer: “You’re a lousy grocery store!” *hangs up*

Literally Left Holding The Baby

| Denton, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(I am ringing up a man who is babysitting his four-month-old nephew.)

Man: “Can I leave my stuff here for a minute while I run to the bathroom?”

Me: “Of course!” *jokingly* “I’ll hold the baby!”

(HE GAVE ME THE BABY!)

Just Type In ‘Born Yesterday’

, | Lansing, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(Whenever we access a customer’s account, they need to give us their pin number.)

Me: “All right, now, what’s your eight-digit pin number?”

Customer: “I don’t know… Oh! It’s my birthday!”

Me: *looking at them expectantly*

Customer: *looking at me expectantly*

Me: “aaannndddd what would that be?”