That’s Not In The Rule Books

| Munich, Germany | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I work for a large company producing strategic board and tabletop games. We often get new releases or rules updates and expansions to existing games. Whenever we get new rule books, we reserve one for customers as a view copy. Therefore, we can’t sell it directly, but we can place an order for our customer, so he can pick up his copy in our store a week later or get it delivered home. This happens shortly after the release of a new expansion on a Saturday.)

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take it.”

Me: “All right, let me just place an order for you and your copy will arrive next week. Will you pick it up or should we deliver it to your home address?”

Customer: “No, I’m just taking that one.” *points to our view copy*

Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t sell you this one, since the company demands that every store always has a view copy for customers to browse in. Still, if I place your order today, your copy will arrive around Wednesday.”

Customer: *after a moment of silence* “Guess I’ll just order myself from home, then.”

Me: “You’re free to do that, but as a suggestion: placing the order via our store helps us as store employees, since corporate only sees it as our sale if you place it directly here.”

Customer: “Well, maybe I don’t want to help you people preventing me from buying the book I want!”

Me: “So, you’ll gladly give your money to the corporate that prohibits us from selling you the book, but deny to help the folks who try to give you a solution?”

Customer: *after another moment of silence* “That’s pretty stupid, isn’t it?” *pauses* “Anyway, I’ll do it. I’m angry and someone has to suffer for it.”

Won’t Be Party To Your Crazy Requests

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(A customer comes in a few minutes after we open at 10 am. He spends half an hour looking around and photographing items. Then he approaches the counter where I’m processing new inventory.)

Customer: “What time do you close?”

Me: “6:30 pm.”

Customer: “No, today. What time do you close today?”

Me: “6:30 pm.”

Customer: “But it’s Saturday.”

Me: “Right.”

Customer: “I have a party until 7. Will you be open after 7?”

Me: “I’m afraid not; we close at 6:30.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just ridiculous.”

Me: “Could I help you find something right now, while you’re here?”

Customer: “I want to buy some things but I don’t want to take them to the party.”

Me: “Well, you could purchase them now and pick them up another day at your convenience!”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that.”

Me: “We have two other locations; maybe you’ll be closer to [Location #1] or [Location #2]?”

Customer: “No, I never go there.”

Me: “You can always stop back in another day and purchase your items.”

Customer: “No, I want them today.”

Me: “Well… I’m afraid I’m out of suggestions.”

Customer: “So, you don’t want my business?”

Me: “I would love to help you, if you want to purchase your items while the store is open.”

Customer: “So you’re not going to help me?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you want me to do?”

Customer: “How about I get your phone number and you come let me in when I’m done with my party?”

Me: “…no.”

Customer: “Well, I guess you don’t want my business.”

Me: “I guess not.”

(He left.)

Merchandise From The Mouth Of Babes

| Fremont, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I am working on the sales floor when I notice a large pile of merchandise that has been dumped on a shelf. A couple of women are walking down the aisle with a child in the cart. I have a sneaky suspicion that they are the ones who had done it, so I say loudly into my radio:)

Me: “I just found a bunch of merchandise someone threw on a shelf. It’s going to take me quite some time to put it all away.”

(The little girl in the cart, around four years old, speaks up.)

Girl: “You did that, Mommy. You shouldn’t have.”

(Made my day!)

“Way” Too Literally

| ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I was filling bins of chocolate one evening, when I notice a woman with a stroller lingering off to the side. Since our store is a bit small, sometimes maneuvering around can be a bit tricky.)

Me: *smiling at the woman* “Please let me know if I’m in your way.”

(I resume filling the bin. About thirty seconds later, something BANGED into my ankle. Startled, I look down and see that the woman is trying to push her stroller literally through me.)

Woman: *blankly* “You’re in my way.”

Free From ‘That’ Joke

| France | At The Checkout

(I go to the register with a bunch of items, amongst them a magazine. The magazine does not seem to scan properly. After several attempts, I finally talk to the cashier.)

Me: “You know what, I don’t really need that magazine. I can just put it back if it doesn’t scan.”

(The cashier looks at me, startled.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry; what did you just say?”

Me: “I said it’s okay if it doesn’t work. I don’t need it.”

(She just looks at me intently for a few seconds, unsure of what to say. Finally she talks.)

Cashier: “Thank you.”

Me: “Uh? For what?”

Cashier: “For not saying ‘Oh, then just give it to me for free!’ Everyone always says that.”

Me: “Yeah, that must get old real fast…”

(We look at each other for a moment and burst out laughing. Her husband who also works in the store comes and laughs with us.)

Cashier: “I’ve been doing that job for 25 years. It has never been funny. Thanks for not making that cringing joke!”

(And the magazine finally got scanned in the end! I’m sorry for retailers who hears that “joke” every day…)

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