Not Bestowed With The Gift Of Knowledge

| Stratford, England, UK | Spouses & Partners

(A couple are walking through our gift shop, looking over the stock and discussing what they could get a friend as a present.)

Lady: *to her husband* “See, we could just get him that! That’s ideal!” *picks up item* “What is it?”

Daylight Saving Her From Herself

| Scotland, UK | Time

(I’m shopping late at a 24-hour store when an announcement goes out that they will stop selling alcohol at 10 pm due to Scottish law. Another shopper comes up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, did they say it was nearly 10?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Then where has my hour gone? It says 9 on my watch.”

Me: “Maybe the battery is going?”

Customer: “No, it’s automatic and I never take it off.”

Me: “Umm, the clocks went forward last month?”

Customer: “Oh, they still do that?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “That’s probably it then.” *continues with her shopping*

(I can’t believe she spent an entire month being one hour behind everyone else and did not realise.)

Massaging The Truth

| Fairfax, VA, USA | Bizarre

(I’m in the back of our store when I overhear this conversation.)

Customer: *sits down and sighs* “Oh, I’m tired.”

Manager: “Long day?”

Customer: “Well, sort of. I had a massage and a facial, and then I went shopping.”

Undressing Is Stressing

| UT, USA | Bizarre

(I let a woman into fitting room; the customer has several pairs of jeans and some t-shirts. She comes back out a few minutes later:)

Customer: “Well, that wasn’t worth my time! I didn’t realize I’d have to get undressed to try these on!”

The Customer And Your Wife Is Not Always Right

| Dallas, TX, USA | Bad Behavior

(Our company has a very similar name to another company and we get their customers call in all the time asking for products that my company does not sell below is what happened when someone calls.)

Me: “[Company]. This is [My Name].”

Caller: “Hi, I need to buy [Product we don’t sell but Other Company does].”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m afraid you’ve called the wrong company. You need [Other Company]; we don’t carry those products.”

Caller: “But my wife gave me this number.”

Me: “Well, then, your wife gave you the wrong number. You are going to have to find the number for [Other Company].”

(After that the caller hangs up and I go back to what I was doing. Not even ten minutes later my phone rings again with the same person calling.)

Me: “[Company]. This is [My Name].”

Caller: “Hi, I need to buy [Product we don’t sell but Other Company does].”

Me: “Sir, you called the wrong number again. I’ve told you that you need [Other Company]. We are a different company from them. We don’t sell the product you are looking for.”

Caller: “ARE YOU TELLING ME MY WIFE WAS WRONG? SHE’S ALWAYS RIGHT!”

Me: “Yes, I am telling you that your wife is wrong. Have a nice day and I hope you find the correct number for [Other Company].”

Caller: *screaming in the background*

Me: *hangs up*

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