Save That Idea For ‘Sharknado 3’…

| Erie, PA, USA | Friendly | March 13, 2014

(I overhear two mid-40s women talking.)

Stranger: “Are there wild cows? Like, can you go into the forests and hunt them like sharks?”

Falling With Stylus

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Working | March 13, 2014

(I have a 10″ tablet. I enter a popular tech store to buy a stylus and a new screen protector as the one on the tablet is peeling off. I go over to the stylus area first and an employee approaches me. She shows me the different types of styluses.)

Me: “I’d like one that’s quite fine so I can handwrite and sketch with this app.”

(I bring up the app. The employee proudly brandishes the most expensive stylus at me.)

Employee: “This one is the only one that will do what you want. Have a try with the prototype.”

(I take the opened stylus and try to use it on the app. It’s not very responsive and only picks up every other stroke.)

Employee: *patronizing* “You’re not doing it right.”

(She snatches the stylus out of my hand and tries it herself with the same result. She then notices the peeling off screen protector.)

Employee: “Well of course it doesn’t work; you’ve left the screen protector on.”

(She then notices another customer.)

Employee: “I need to go help that guy. Have a test of that and I’ll be back.”

(She leaves me with the prototype. I’m a bit disappointed that the supposedly best stylus isn’t working but I figure since I’m also here to buy a new screen protector there is no harm taking it off to try the stylus without it. It turns out, it’s not any better, but I wasn’t particularly hopeful. The employee comes back.)

Employee: “So, will you be buying a stylus today?”

Me: “I don’t think I will, thanks. But I am in need of a screen protector.” *jokingly holding up the one I removed* “Would you mind showing me one for my tablet?”

(The employee gives me a funny look.)

Employee: “I don’t think so.”

(I look around the store and see that they’re behind the counter.)

Me: “They’re right there. One for a [my model tablet], please.”

Employee: “I don’t think so, ma’am.”

Me: *frowning in confusion* “Do you need the manager to open the screen protectors?”

Employee: “I’ll get the manager if you like, ma’am, but he’s only going to tell you the same thing.”

Me: “Oookaay.”

(The employee goes away and comes back a few minutes later with a manager. He doesn’t look happy.)

Manager: “Ma’am, my employee didn’t tell you to take the screen protector off. We will not be able to give you a free screen protector just because you stupidly decided to remove it.”

Me: *blinks in shock* “I don’t want a free one.”

Manager: “It goes against our policy, ma’am.”

Me: “To SELL me a screen protector?”

Manager: “What?”

Me: “I took the screen protector off to test the stylus—”

Manager: “And we’re not responsible for that.”

Me: “I know. I’m not blaming you. I just took off the screen protector and now I want to PURCHASE a new one. With money.”

Manager: “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

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Small Fry Looking For The Big Wig

| Nashville, TN, USA | Right | March 12, 2014

(A customer wants a blender.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. We are sold out of those blenders.”

Customer: “Well the sign on the shelf says [special price], so I should get this blender for [special price]!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t do that. It’s not the same blender as the ones that were on sale, and we are sold out of the blenders that were on sale.”

Customer: “This is just outrageous! Who can I talk to so that I can file a complaint? What’s your store number? I’m going to report you!”

Manager: *very professional, but now with sharper tone* “Here is the number for our customer service hotline. They’ll be happy to take your call. Our store number is [number].”

Customer: “No, I want to talk to your CEO!”

Manager: “Sir, this is the number that you can call to file complaints.”

Customer: “All right.” *takes number* “Yes, I want to speak with your CEO.”

(The customer walks away, talking on the phone.)

Me: *after a few minutes* “Yeah, my laptop crashed the other day, so I called Bill Gates. That guy knows customer service.”

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Knock Your Socks Off

| IL, USA | Right | March 11, 2014

(I’m the cashier. The store has a rewards loyalty card. The transaction has been normal up to this point.)

Me: “Do you have a [Store] rewards card?”

Customer #1: “No, I do not! I was fired from this store because I wore the wrong colored socks! So I refuse to get a rewards card.”

(The customer suddenly throws her credit card at me. I’m speechless so I just finish the transaction in stunned silence.)

Me: “Have a good day.”

(Customer #1 huffs out of the store. The customer behind her comes up to the register with a dumbfounded look on his face.)

Customer #2: “I have a feeling wearing the wrong socks wasn’t the reason she was fired.”

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It’s Made With Watership Down

| NH, USA | Right | March 10, 2014

(We have for sale a really soft brand of throw blankets. They’re called ‘Bunny Soft’ to reflect just how soft they are. A customer comes up to my register with one.)

Customer: “These aren’t made from real bunnies are they?”

Me: “No, they aren’t. It’s all polyester. I don’t even think real bunnies are this soft.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want it if it’s made from real bunnies. That’s just not right.”

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