Varying Degrees Of Understanding

| IL, USA | Working | September 11, 2013

(The company I work for is a group of small shops located in host department stores. Managers are paid about $2 more than minimum wage. A regional manager has been transferred to my region and I am giving him a tour of the stores by car. While driving he asks me to critique the store managers in the region.)

Me: “…Then there is the Elston store. The manager there has been with us for five years and she is great. Too bad that she will be leaving in June.”

Manager: “If she is that good, why would we let her go?”

Me: “She graduates from a four-year college degree in June.”

Manager: “So? We like college graduates to work for us.”

Me: “It is not us; she will be quitting.”

Manager: “But why would she quit now after working for us for five years?”

Me: “Because she is graduating from college.”

Manager: “I am still not getting it.”

Me: *exasperated* “She did not work for us during the day so that she could spend four years going to college at night, and take out student loans to pay for college thereby going deep into debt, just so that she could stick with a job with no advancement path that pays barely more than minimum wage.”

Manager: “I am still not getting it.”

Me: “Okay, let me ask you this. You told me your daughter is also graduating this year. So when the Elston shop opens up she will be able to take over as manager, right?”

Manager: “Are you serious? We sent my daughter to college to have a bright future, not to work in a dead-end job.”

Me: “Exactly, do you get it now?”

Manager: “No!”

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In Line With The Wine

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Working | September 10, 2013

(My best friend and I are customers at a very large store. It’s 12:55 am, and liquor sales end at 1 am. The cashier is ringing up our items, and stops at the bottle of wine. This isn’t the first time we’ve had troubles with this particular cashier.)

Cashier: “I can’t sell this to you. We can’t sell alcohol after 1 am.”

Me: “But… it’s not 1 am yet. We have a few minutes.”

Cashier: “Nope, register says 1 am. Can’t sell it to you.”

Best Friend: “Uh, no, your register shows 12:56. So can you please ring us up and stop wasting time?”

Cashier: “Look lady; it’s past 1 am. I CAN’T sell it to you!”

Customer Behind Us: “Just ring up the god-d*** wine, and stop wasting everyone else’s time. None of these clocks show 1 am yet. Stop being a difficult b**** and just give these girls their wine!”

(The cashier huffs and glares at the other customer, and waits until 11:59 on the dot to ring up the wine. She made everyone stand there for another few minutes! We didn’t get the manager, but we’ve never seen her there again!)

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Jiggly Logic

| UK | Working | September 9, 2013

(My coworker and I are having a small discussion on Pokémon, specifically the original 151. I have also just proven that I still remember how Jigglypuff’s song goes.)

Coworker: “What would you do if you woke up and found you had a Jigglypuff for a head?”

Me: “I’d make money.”

Coworker: “How?”

Me: “There’d be a way.”

Coworker: “Okay, what if the government made it illegal to make money from having a Pokémon for a head?”

Me: “That’s impossible.”

Coworker: “So the possibility of having a Pokémon for a head is okay, but the government making it illegal to make money from it is what’s impossible?”

Me: “We have to draw the line somewhere.”

Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble

| NC, USA | Learning | September 5, 2013

(I’m English. I’ve lived in the US for several years, but I still have a very strong English accent. A pair of customers I’ve never met approach me out of nowhere.)

Customer #1: “It’s so good to see you here! Your coworker tells me you’re a fellow Kentucky alum!”

Customer #2: “Gosh, how have you been? When did you graduate? What brings you to North Carolina?”

Me: “Er… No… What… Huh?”

(This is baffling, because I go to a North Carolina college. I’ve never even been to Kentucky, and my coworker has no reason to think otherwise. Then I look down and see that both customers are wearing University of Kentucky t-shirts with a prominent ‘UK’ logo.)

Me: *laughing* “Oh, I see what happened. No, I’m from the other ‘UK.'”

(Both customers look blank.)

Customer #1: “What other UK?”

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Let’s Play The Generation Blame

, | UK | Right | September 5, 2013

(I am in the fitting rooms. An older customer is waiting for his grand-daughter to try on some clothes.)

Customer: “Been working long?”

Me: “No, I only do eight hours a week because of college.”

Customer: “Huh. Eight hours! I used to go to college six hours a day, and then work for 48 hours! Kids these days are lazy.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “And you know what wage I was on! £1! That’s right. You kids have your ‘minimum wage’ and your ‘rights.’ I got £1 for 48 hours and some weeks, I wouldn’t even get paid if I didn’t do my job well!”

Me: “Oh…”

Customer: “So, going anywhere nice this summer?”

Me: “I’m going to Spain in July.”

Customer: “You know some people go on holiday and just go from the hotel to the beach and back again. That’s not a holiday! You should be out exploring! Is that what you do?”

Me: “Not usually. Usually I go looking at castles and other historical places. But this time I’m going with friends, sort of a last holiday before we all separate for University. So we’ll mostly be on the beach.”

Customer: “LAZY! THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE! ALL YOU DO IS STAND HERE IN THE FITTING ROOM, GABBING OFF, AND THEN YOU GO ON TONS OF HOLIDAYS A YEAR AND LIE ON BEACHES! SOME OF US WORK FOR A LIVING! IF YOU GOT UP OFF YOUíRE A*** AND GOT A JOB, YOU’D SEE YOU CAN’T JUST SIT AROUND ALL DAY!”

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