My first experience working retail was also my last; the customers were bad but the staff were worse. There were some good people there, but they were in the minority. Most staff didn’t care about anything and wouldn’t cross the street to help you.

I was put with [Coworker] to learn the ropes. After an hour, I was sick of him. He wouldn’t train me or even talk to me; if I asked a question he would shrug or tell me to figure it out.

We were restocking shelves. [Coworker] wouldn’t let me help because I was doing it “wrong” but wouldn’t say how to do it “right”. I think I was doing it too quickly for him and he wanted to take as long as possible.

A man acting oddly walked past us both. A moment later, he knocked the stuff from [Coworker]’s hands, grabbed the charity collection from the till, and ran for it.

Not long later:

Manager: “Did anyone get a good look at him? [Coworker], he was near you.”

[Coworker] shrugged.

Manager: “What does that mean? Did you get a look or not?”

Coworker: “I don’t know, maybe. Does it matter?”

Me: “He stole from charity. Yeah, it matters.”

Coworker: “Doesn’t affect me, though, does it?!”

Me: “I got a look at the guy. I’m happy to give the details if I can swap partners.”

Manager: “I think that’s probably fair. Come to my office.”

I gave a description, and I think they caught the guy, getting most of the money back. I lasted six more months until I moved for university.

What’s worse is I found out the charity collection was for a dementia charity, something that both of [Coworker]’s grandparents struggled with.

We have a table of men’s shirts in different colors at the front of the store.

Customer: “What color is this?“

Coworker: “Red.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Every week, the managers get together to discuss the store — upcoming sales, new products, issues we’ve noticed, etc. [Manager] is about ten years older than me and always goofing off. Most people just dismiss it as having a good time or some sort of hyperactivity. One day, just before the meeting, [Manager] comes up to me.

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], I need you to do something.”

Me: *Suspicious* “Yes?”

Manager: “When [Store Manager] asks if there’s anything else at the end of the meeting, make an armpit fart.”

Me: “No. That’s so stupid.”

Manager: “No, it’s hilarious!”

Me: “No, it’s stupid. I’m not doing it.”

Manager: “Oh, come on! I’ll give you $20.”

Me: “I said no.”

Manager: “Don’t be a baby, [My Name]. It’s just a joke!”

Me: “Then you do it.”

I turn and walk into the meeting.

All through the meeting, [Manager] is staring at me, silently trying to convince me to pull his childish prank. 

Store Manager: “All righty, folks, if there’s nothing else?”

Manager: “Wait! [My Name] has something.”

Store Manager: “[My Name]?”

Me: “I don’t, actually.”

Manager: “Yes, you do!”

Me: *Firmly* “No.”

Store Manager: “[My Name], are you sure?”

Me: “I’m sure.”

As the other managers are leaving, [Manager] comes up and pinches my arm. 

Me: “Ow!”

Manager: “P***y.”

Me: “Go away, [Manager].”

Manager: “I knew you wouldn’t do it.”

Me: “I told you I wouldn’t.”

Store Manager: *From behind us* “Do what, [My Name]?”

[Manager] is startled.

Me: *Smiling* “Oh, [Manager] told me—”

Manager: “No!”

Me: “—he would give me $20 to—”

Manager: “He’s lying!”

Me: “—make an armpit fart at the end of the meeting.”

Manager: “That’s not true!”

Store Manager: “Well, [Manager], if he’s lying, why did you pinch him and call him a p***y?”

Manager: “I— I was—”

Store Manager: “How about we discuss this in my office?”

[Manager] was written up. Most of our interactions now are him just glaring at me, but he has calmed down significantly.

I work for an online shop. The customers make an account, make their order, and get info via email. If they have questions or an issue, they can contact us online or via phone.

My coworker is helping an older customer with an order. They are having issues since it didn’t go through.

Coworker: “Where are you right now?”

They mean to ask where in the ordering process the customer is.

Customer: “Well, I’m at home. Do you think that might be the reason for my issue?”

Yes, my coworker was at fault here for not being clearer, but it was a bit funny that the customer thought their physical location was the reason that they had an issue with their online order. It had nothing to do with the customer’s Internet connection, but they were able to get the order through after a while.

I am locking the door at work when a woman comes rushing up.

Customer: “Oh, please let me in. I know exactly what I want: a box of those glasses.”

She points at them. Like an idiot, I let her in and go to get the glasses.

Customer: “Oh, hang on. I’m not sure if we want these or the ones next to them. Mummy will be here in a minute. Can I wait for her?”

Just then, Mummy appears, strolling along like she has all the time in the world.

Mummy dithers about the glasses, all the time telling us how grateful they are that we let them in.

Mummy: “We’re going to a wedding, and this is their present!”

Finally, they decide, and they want every glass in the box checked, and then they want to check them themselves. These are a cheap set of glasses, nothing to write home about. We check the glasses, get it all rung up, and finally, we’re done. All this has taken over twenty minutes, while all the rest of the staff have been going home, saying goodnight, and making it very obvious that these women are keeping us, and that the manager still has to count and close the till.

I put the box of glasses in a bag and say goodnight.

Mummy: “Could you gift-wrap them for me?”’

Me: “Not at this time of night, no!”

Exit embarrassed daughter and Mummy, who will “never shop here again!”