18 And Blunder, Part 2

| Bangor, ME, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Top

(I work in a store that carries all kinds of DVDs, from G-rated all the way up to X and everything in-between. A boy, no older than 12, brings a soft-core pornography DVD up to my register.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell this to you.”

Boy: “Why not?!”

Me: “It’s inappropriate for someone of your age.”

Boy: “My mom said I could have it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t sell it to you.”

(The boy storms out of the store.)

Co-worker: “Can you believe that?  Like his mom really said he could have that!”

Me: “I know. Either he’s lying, or his mom only said he could have it because she doesn’t know what it’s about.”

(Shortly thereafter the boy returns to the store with his mom. His mom stomps around the store, gets the DVD, and slams it down in front of me.)

Mom: “I can’t believe I had to get out of the car for this!  You should have just sold it to him! He told you that I said he could have it!”

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I can’t sell that video to anyone under the age of 18.”

Mom: “Why not? Discrimination?”

Me: “Not at all. It just contains things that most people feel is inappropriate for a child to see.”

(The mom picks up the DVD and examines it for the first time. She looks at the front and then starts reading the back. The more she reads, the wider her eyes get. All of a sudden she drops the DVD and starts spanking her son’s butt. She drags him out of the store by his arm.)

Boy: “But mom, you said I could have it!”

Mom: “I didn’t know what it was about! I’m so embarrassed! I can’t believe I almost bought you porn!”

Related:
18 And Blunder

Ignorant About Immigrants

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words

(All of the signs in our store are both in English and Spanish.)

Me: “Welcome to [store name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I wanna know why the h*** you people cater to them Mexicans!”

Me: “I’m sorry your feel that way, sir. But it is company policy that we post in multiple languages; we even have a phone line that can translate for our customers. We consider it good customer service.” 

Customer: “That is bull! We are in America and people should speak American!”

Me: *getting ornery* “Well, sir, even I don’t speak American. I speak English.”

Customer: “You are one of those Brits! Probably came here to take a good American job just like the rest of them!”

Me: “No sir, I’m not British. I was born and raised right here in Missouri.” 

Customer: “Then why don’t you speak American?”

(At this point my coworker, having overheard everything, steps in.)

Coworker: “Because ‘American’ isn’t a language.”

Customer: “Yes it is! You d*** foreign people are taking over! I’m never shopping here again!” *leaves*

What’s Another Word For Wrong Major

| UK | Family & Kids, Language & Words

(A girl and her mother are shopping for cookware for her to take to college.)

Girl: “Do you have any…” *snaps her hand open and closed like a puppet*

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Girl: “You know…” *does puppet hands again* “…for cooking.” *to her mom* “Mum, I need some…” *hand motion*

Girl’s Mother: “Tongs?”

Girl: “Yes!”

(I show them where to find them while the mother teases the girl. I try to change the subject as the girl is obviously embarrassed.)

Me: “So, you need this stuff for college?”

Girl: “Yeah.”

Me: “What are you studying?”

(The girl turns bright red and both her and her mother start laughing.)

Girl’s Mother: “She’s going to be studying English!”