Keeping You Busier Than Her Shirt

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Time


(For context, I work in a relatively small store. It would take you max 10 seconds to walk from one end to the other.)

Customer: “Do you have this in larger?” *she’s holding an XSP shirt*

Me: “We don’t have a large petite, but we might have large regular size. Would you like me to find it for you?”

Customer: “Mhm.” *she puts the shirt she’s holding on the nearest rack to her. This rack only has pants on it and isn’t in the petite section…*

(I find her the other shirt and bring it to her. She spends about 30 seconds looking at it before putting it on another random rack, this time one with only scarves hanging on it. I’m standing right next to her and would have happily taken it back. She meanders around the store for a bit before asking me to help her find a shirt that will go with two very different patterned scarves. One is bright yellow with purple flowers and the other is blue and white stripes and floral patterns. I show her a shirt; she disagrees with my opinion. She asks about a beige, pink, and yellow busy patterned shirt. I politely say that a solid color would be a better choice. I show her a solid color shirt instead, and she asks about the first shirt I showed her, acting like she’s never seen it before. This goes on for about three more repetitions of that process, all the while asking my opinion and immediately dismissing it. She eventually picks some random shirt, pays, and leaves.)

Me: *to new coworker* “And that’s what we like to call a ‘high maintenance’ customer.”

A Bookstore’s Last Day Is Booked

, | Mason, OH, USA | Books & Reading

(I overhear this while ringing two ladies out.)

Friend #1: “We should go to [Store]. They’re having a going out of business sale.”

Friend #2: “[Store]? What do they sell?”

Friend #1: “Books.”

Friend #2: *makes a face*

Friend #1: *quickly* “We don’t HAVE to go.”

Friend #2: “Okay, good.”

(And we wonder why they went out of business…)

They Must Work Until They Break

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Time

(I am a member service supervisor at this particular membership-based (meaning only people with memberships are allowed to shop here) retail store. It is a Sunday and there is a huge volume of members going through check-out lanes. It is time for one of my cashiers to go on his break, so I come over to his register, shut down his sign, and stand at the end to block the lane due to the high volume of members, so he can go on break. Then a member pushes his cart right in his lane and right in front of me.)

Me: “Sir, this lane is closed. Please use a different check-out lane.”

(He either pretends he doesn’t not hear me or he really doesn’t hear me; I do not know which is the case.)

Me: “Sir? Excuse me, sir, but this lane is closed.”

(He finally looks at me.)

Customer #1: “Why is it closed? All the other lanes are long and I don’t have time to wait.”

Customer #2: *on the very next lane* “Why is the sun shining outside?”

Me: *trying not to laugh at [Customer #2]’s comment* “Sir, this lane is closed because the cashier has to go on his break. We also have self-checkout lanes if you don’t want to wait in line.”

Customer #1: “I don’t care if he has to go on break. I paid to shop here and I do not want to use self-checkout. Your job is being paid by me so you better open the register back up and check me out before I have your supervisor fire you.”

Me: “Sir, I am the supervisor and the cashier really does have to go on break.”

(The cashier has finished with his last member and is walking toward the break room. I move away from the checkout lane.)

Me: “Sir, the lane is now wide open just for you.”

(I walked away and went to thank the Customer #2 for his comment early on. When I went back to the podium, I noticed Customer #1 was using the self-checkout to check himself out.)

Your Local Inconvenience Store

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Bad Behavior

(We are doing some minor renovations and repainting, so we’ve closed the store for the day. There are several signs in the windows/door, the lights are off, and everything is covered with dust tarps. I unlock the door for a few minutes so one of the crews can unload their stuff, and a lady barges her way in.)

Me: “Oh, ma’am, I’m sorry but—”

Lady: “Are you CLOSED!?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, just for today, but—”

Lady: “Well, your sign says you opened at 11.”

Me: “Normally, yes, but today we’re having some work done.”

Lady: “Well, that’s very inconvenient.”

Me: “I apologize; we should be back up and running tomorrow.”

Lady: “I can’t believe you’re CLOSED. Why are you closed?”

Me: *gesturing to the mountains of tarped merchandise and the men on ladders, the furniture shoved together on one side of the store, etc* “We’re… we’re under construction.”

Lady: “Well, it’s VERY inconvenient.”

Me:“What were you looking for? Maybe I can dig something out for you or find it at our other locations?”

Lady: “Oh, no, I was just browsing. But this is VERY inconvenient.”

(Then she finally left. The workers kept joking about how “inconvenient” silly things were for the rest of the day. There were many people who still tried the door (often violently) and peered in to the windows all day long.)

The Scent Of Bad Math

| IL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(A few years back, I worked as part-time seasonal help at a popular store that sells scented bath products. I’m walking with a customer to help her find a particular product, when another woman storms up, very flustered.)

Customer: “EXCUSE ME!”

Me: “Just one moment, ma’am. I’m helping someone else and—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No, I need assistance RIGHT NOW.”

(The first customer and I were pretty close to the product she was looking for. She looks at me apologetically, and tells me that she sees what she wants. She thanks me and walks away.)

Me: “Okay, well, what can I help you with?

Customer: “You people are CROOKS!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “These hand soaps cost $15 for 5. That’s insane!”

Me: “Well, our hand soap may cost a little bit more than what you would pay at supermarket, but—”

Customer: *interrupts again* “NO, THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM. These cost more to buy ‘on sale’—” *she uses air quotes* “—than they do to buy individually!”

Me: “Actually, you’re basically paying for four bottles and getting one for free when you buy five…”

Customer: “DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND MATH?! These cost $3.75 a piece!”

(In case anyone reading doesn’t want to do the math, at $3.75 per bottle, five bottles would cost $18.75 at full price.)

Me: “Ma’am, what’s 15 divided by 5?”

Customer: “Well, it’s three, of course. You’d have to be an idiot not to know that!”

Me: “So, 15 divided by 5 equals 3. This means that if you buy five bottles for $15, each bottle costs $3 even, which is less than the sticker price of $3.75.”

(To be fair, I tried not to, but I did kind of talk to her like she was a child during this explanation.)

Customer: “STOP TRYING TO TREAT ME LIKE AN IDIOT! I know that $3.75 is more than $3.00. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THE PROBLEM?! If I buy five, it will obviously cost more than $15!”

(I stare at her blankly for a brief moment, quite stunned.)

Me: “I’m… I’m not really sure how to make this more clear, ma’am. You’d be paying $18.75 at full price for the soap. But with our current sale, you’ll only pay $15 for the same quantity. I really don’t know how else to explain it.”

Customer: “Wait… The sale price is $15?”

Me: “Um… Yes?”

Customer: *as she starts to walk away* “Okay, great!”

(I just stood there with my jaw dropped for a few seconds.. I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t move. This woman apparently thought that the price on the signs hanging around was the normal price, and the sticker on the bottles showed the sale price.)

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