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Silence Of The Hipsters

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem, Popular

(I work in a music and DVD store that prides itself on being able to provide hard to find items. Each of us working in the story try to have as broad a knowledge as possible of different movies, TV, and music, and so we often surprise customers when they request something they think we’ll never heard of. Occasionally, though, a customer will go out of their way to try to prove us wrong.)

Customer: “I was wondering if you had a TV series called Hannibal.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, that’s a pretty good seller at the moment. The third season’s just been released.”

Customer: “Have you watched it?”

Me: “Oh, my god, yes! I love it! Bryan Fuller can do no wrong, as far as I’m concerned.”

Customer: *scoffing* “You know it’s based on a movie, right? You probably haven’t seen it. It’d be before your time. It’s called The Silence of the Lambs.”

Me: “Oh, no, I’ve seen Silence of the Lambs.”

Customer: “You must be older than you look.”

Me: “I just really like movies.”

Customer: “You know, there was a song written about Hannibal Lecter. It was a few years ago, but you probably haven’t heard it since it wasn’t played on most radio stations.”

Me: “You mean Lotion by the Greenskeepers? It made the Hottest 100 that year; I think it was 2005 or 2006. It’s an awesome song; it really gets the Buffalo Bill vibe down.”

Customer: *suddenly aggravated* “You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “This place is a sham, helping big corporations to funnel mass produced crap media into the homes of unknowing idiots. You think just because you can spout off some facts about a culturally significant movie that it makes you better than me? You still sell One Direction to screaming teeny boppers.”

Me: “At least the teeny boppers are polite.”

Customer: “WELL, DVDS ARE OUTDATED TECHNOLOGY!” *storms off*

Coworker: “What was that?”

Me: “I think I just out-hipstered a hipster, by knowing random facts about a popular TV show, which is based on a popular book series.”

Coworker: “People are so weird.”

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One Lucky Customer

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular, Rude & Risque

(It’s kind of late in my shift. I call the next customer, an elderly man. He puts his merchandise on the counter. He immediately starts staring at my chest.)

Male Customer: “Wow, am I lucky. Wow.”

(I don’t know how to react without being rude so I just ring him up as quickly as possible. The entire time he’s staring at me and repeating:)

Male Customer: “Wow, am I lucky. Wow. When do you get off?”

(Since I don’t want to deal with him any more I tell him his total and stick every single item into one bag neatly enough that it won’t tear or break but badly enough that the bag weighs way too much, set it behind the counter, and wait for him to pay. He pays, and I hand him the approximately 20 lb bag.)

Male Customer: “Oh, thanks…”

(He stops smiling and kind of waddles out of the store with his bag. The next customer has a 28-item return and repurchase to get the points on their card. The customer after THAT comes up to me.)

Female Customer: “That looked intense.”

Me: “Yeah. The sad thing is that was still better than the customer before them.”

Female Customer: “Oh, what happened?”

Me: “Uh, it was an old dude and he was being creepy.”

Female Customer: “Oh, ew. I’m sorry.”

(I finish ringing her two-item purchase and read her price. She pays for her merchandise and I bag it very nicely and neatly.)

Female Customer: “Well, I hope I wasn’t as much trouble. And I didn’t hit on you. Have a good night.”

(Not gonna lie; that comment helped me keep it together until we closed.)

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Taxing Faxing, Part 18

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre

(I’m manning the copy center counter when a regular customer approaches. I’ve helped her before, but she doesn’t seem to recognize me. While I’m helping her, she stands next to our shipping kiosk and reads the list of items we’re not permitted to mail.)

Customer: “I need these documents faxed, please. Wouldn’t you know it? My fax machine at the office sends documents everywhere BUT that area code! I’ve even sent it to offices one city over!”

Me: “Wow, that’s—”

Customer: *interrupts* “Isn’t it? We’ve tried calling the machine’s tech support and everything! I’ll never understand. Does this sign REALLY have to tell people they can’t ship fireworks? What kind of idiot would try to ship fireworks!?”

Me: “Yeah, some pe—”

Customer: “I know, right!? Bunch of idiots trying to get around local laws or something.”

Me: “Looks like we’re all set here, ma’am. If you’ll just come over to the cash register with me, I can ring you up for ev—”

Customer: “Where am I supposed to pay for the fax service, dear? Can I pay here with you?”

Me: “Yes, the debit machine is right over here, by th—”

Customer: *tosses her card on the counter*

Me: “Card reader’s over here, ma’am. Did you want a bag for your papers?”

Customer: *peering at my name badge* “Oh! Your name’s [My Name]?! What a unique spelling! I love it!”

Me: “Thanks, ma’am, it’s—”

Customer: “You’ve been SO helpful! I never receive excellent service like this when I come in! Have a good day!”

Me: “You’re welcome; enjoy the rest of y—”

Customer: “I’m going over there to look at briefcases!”

(She wandered cheerfully off, and boy, was I glad she hadn’t asked me to show her anything else in the store!)

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 17
Taxing Faxing, Part 16
Taxing Faxing, Part 15