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This Is Why Jurassic Park Is PG-13

| KY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Popular

(I work in a store meant for little girls and I am known for striking up conversations with the kids. I am talking to a little girl who is about five and cute as can be, when this happens)

Me: “So what do you like to do?”

Girl: “I like to draw!”

Me: “Really! What’s your favorite thing to draw?”

Girl: “Dinosaurs… COVERED IN BLOOD!”

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Chose The Wrong Place To Chill

| UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(We run a chilli farm, and have recently opened a retail store in a nearby city. Every single product in our store contains chillies, sauces, jams, marmalades, chocolate bars, even chilli fudge. On our first day open a lady comes in:)

Lady: “Do you have a sauce with blackcurrants in it?”

Me: “Unfortunately we don’t, but we do have a lot of blackcurrant bushes growing on the farm. We could make you a batch of blackcurrant chilli sauce.”

(A week later the lady visits the store again and is very excited when we tell her we now have a blackcurrant sauce, until she looks at the bottle and says:)

Lady: “Oh! It has chillies in it. I don’t like chillies.”

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Doesn’t Want To Milk It For Every Penny

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

(Our store has been testing a new pricing plan, with a huge price cut to basic items to get customers in the door. Milk has gone down to $1.08 for a gallon. Most people are ecstatic, but not everyone…)

Customer: “Excuse me, why is this milk so cheap?”

Me: “Our store is testing a new pricing plan. Corporate has recently decided to compete with [Small Grocery Store] across the street, and we ended up in a small pricing war.”

Customer: “But what’s wrong with it? That doesn’t make sense! Overseas they pay $8 for a gallon of milk!”

Me: “Well, we have more room to raise cows than many other countries.” *shrug*

Customer: “Well, I’m not buying this! I’m going to [Expensive Grocery Chain], where milk is a reasonable price!

(The kicker is that the same company delivers the same milk to our store and where the customer said she was going.)