Loyal Spoil

| MO, USA | Right | November 25, 2013

Customer: “I want to order this product. Since I’m a loyal customer, can I have free shipping?”

Me: “No, I apologize that free shipping is only on select products, and those products are advertised as such on the website.”

Customer: “But, [Competitor] has a similar product with free shipping. Can you make an exception?”

Me: “No, I apologize that I can’t.”

Customer: “Guess I’m going to [Competitor] then!”

Me: “Thank you for being a ‘loyal’ customer!”

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This Store Takes Credit

| Edgewater, CO, USA | Right | November 25, 2013

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

(The customer holds up a small light bulb.)

Customer: “Yes, can you tell me what size this is?”

Me: “Sure, just let me—”

Customer: “Oh wait, here they are on the display! Now can you tell me where the rest of them are?”

Me: “Well, they should be—”

Customer: “Oh, they’re over here! Thank you so much!”

Me: “You’re welcome, but I really don’t think I can take much credit for that!”

Customer: “Sure you can! Couldn’t have found it without you! Thank you!”

(The customer keeps shopping in that section on her own while I stock the shelves a few aisles over. Every time she finds something to put in her basket, she yells out ‘Thank you!’)

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Hasn’t Given This A Second Thought

| Newark, DE, USA | Working | November 24, 2013

(It’s my second day working for a small shop within a store. As I walk in, my supervisor looks up from some personal work she’s doing on a machine we’re supposed to be selling.)

Supervisor: “Hey [My Name], I’m getting off at five, so you and [Coworker] are going to be closing with her today.”

Me: “Okay, has she closed before? Because I’ve never closed before and I don’t really know what to do.”

Supervisor: “It’s her second day too, but I put my number by the register so you can call me if you need anything.”

Me: “Wait; let me just see if I’m understanding this: you’re putting two people together, both of them on their second day, leaving them alone in the store, and expecting them to close with no experience doing so and with no instruction?”

Supervisor: “Yep!”

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Was Not Performed In Chest

| Springfield, MO, USA | Right | November 22, 2013

(I work in the lingerie department of a large department store. A man and his wife walk in. The wife goes to look at our clearance racks, while her husband comes up to me.)

Man: “What bra size do you think I am?”

(The man attempts to puff out his chest, which amounts to little as he is flat-chested. I’m kind of taken aback, but I go with it.)

Me: “I’m not sure.”

Man: “Well, you measure people, right? Measure me!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t know if that’s—”

Man: “Come on! Measure me!”

(I grab my measuring tape and ask him to hold his arms up. He kind of dances around a bit, but I ignore him. I go to wrap the tape around his chest, which is a little awkward since I basically have to hug him.)

Me: “You’re a 42 band size—”

(Suddenly, the man leans in to kiss me. I jump way back.)

Me: “Woah! Personal bubble!”

(By now, his wife has returned. The man tries to explain.)

Man: *to his wife* “It’s her fault! She’s giving me a look!”

(The man and his wife leave soon after, but not before his wife comes and gives me a quick apology for her husband’s behavior!)

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Needs To Find A New Post

| UK | Right | November 20, 2013

Customer: “Excuse me. I’m looking for [brand] aftershave lotion, but you don’t seem to have any!”

Me: “Did you look in the [brand] section? I think they do a few different ones actually. I’ll show you now.”

(I walk him to the section and show him a few.)

Me: “So, you’ve got this one, for sensitive skin, and this one is—”

Customer: “This isn’t AFTER shave! It says right here: ‘POST Shave Balm!”

Me: “Erm, actually ‘post’ means ‘after.'”

Customer: “…What do they pay you here?”

Me: “Around [salary] per hour.”

Customer: “Well, you deserve every penny of it! You’re a smart girl!” *mutters as he walks off* “Who knew that ‘post’ meant ‘after’…”

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