All Sighs Point To No

| MD, USA | Uncategorized

(A lady calls and complains to our store.)

Me: “Good Afternoon, [name of store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to speak with a manager!”

Me: “Sure, no problem!”

Manager: “Hello, this is [name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was just in your store eating my lunch in your little cafe, and your cashier on register #11 offended me.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What did she do to offend you?”

Customer: “She yawned.”

Manager: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “She yawned, and I was so offended that I could not eat my lunch. She should not be paid to just stand there and yawn.”

Manager: “Uhm…” *dumbfounded*

Customer: “I did not want to say anything to her because she was very large.”

Manager: “Okay ma’am, I will tell her to stop yawning and to get more sleep at night.”

Customer: “Thank you so much!” *hangs up*

Cash-Back-And-Forth

| Lincolnshire, England, UK | Money

(Whenever a customer asks for cash-back, I always repeat the amount back to them just to make sure I have heard correctly.)

Customer: “Can I have £30?”

Me: “That’s £30?”

Customer: “No, £30.”

Me: “Yes, £30 cash-back?”

Customer: “No, I want £30.”

Me: “Yes, that’s what I said, £30 cash-back.

Customer: “Look, do you do cash-back?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, can I have £30?”

Conan The Contrarian

| Huntsville, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule

Customer: “Today is my anniversary! Love is the best thing in life.”

Me: “Actually…” *in Conan voice* “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women…” *back in regular voice* “…is the best thing in life.”

Customer: “Ha! You made my day!”

(She paid for a $6 meal with a $20 bill and told me to keep the change!)