Potential Insults Are Relative

| Australia | Related | May 13, 2014

(My mother worked retail for many years and was taking an order for a customer.)

Mother: “Can I have your last name please.”

Customer: “It’s Dick.”

Mother: *looks up* “And you look like one, too.”

Customer: *splutters* “Excuse me! What did you just say?”

Mother: *dawns on her what it just sounded like* “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that you look like my cousin [Full Name].”

Customer: “I am [Full Name].”

(Neither of them had seen each other for years!)

No Holding Back

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Right | May 13, 2014

(I work at a popular lingerie store that also sells a line of young women’s clothing. It’s nearly closing time on a Sunday night when a teenage girl and her mother come in.)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Store]. What brings you ladies in tonight?”

Mother: “Yes, I called earlier today about a hoodie y’all sell. I was told you had several.”

Me: “Sure, I can help you with that. Which hoodie was it?”

(The mother produces a picture of the hoodie from our website. I recognize it as a style that we have not had for a few days, due to the style’s popularity.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We haven’t had those in for almost a week. The few we did have sold out between yesterday and today. I can order one online for you, though, and you’ll get free shipping right to your house.”

Mother: “This is unacceptable! I called at nine this morning, and the girl told me you had a bunch!”

Me: “Are you sure you called today, ma’am? We don’t open until 11, and nobody was here before 10.”

Mother: “Well, maybe it was 11. I don’t know. But you still should have saved one for me!”

Me: “Did you put one on hold? If so it’s still in our closet.”

Mother: “I don’t know.” *speaking to daughter* “Did you put one on hold?”

Daughter: “Yeah, it should be under Kelly.”

(I check the closet. The hoodie is definitely not there.)

Me: “That’s weird. It should be here.” *to mother* “And you called today, you said?”

Mother: “Well, no. It was my daughter who called.”

Me: *to daughter* “And you called today?”

Daughter: “No, I called Thursday. Maybe, Wednesday. No… I think it must have been Monday. Yeah, Monday.”

Me: “So, you called on Monday? And you put a hoodie on hold? Did they tell you that we only hold merchandise for 24 hours?”

Daughter: “Um, idk, maybe?”

(Yes, she really said ‘idk.’)

Mother: “It shouldn’t matter when she called! You should have held it for her!”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, we don’t have the space to hold product for that long, especially over a weekend. Plus, it’s not really fair to other customers. But, like I said, I can always look online and see if we can get one shipped to you.”

Mother: “No! Go into your back room and find one.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but we don’t have any more in the stock room; I’ve checked several times today for other customers. I can check again, if you’d like, but you’re going to be disappointed.”

Mother: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER! I’M GOING TO GET YOUR A** FIRED!”

Me: *losing all patience* “Sure, but I’m going to have to ask you to please watch your tone and language.”

Mother: “You little b****! How DARE you speak to me like this? First you sell my daughter’s hoodie to some tramp, I’m sure, and then you refuse to do anything about it. MANAGER! NOW!”

(I radio to the back for my manager.)

Me: “She’ll be out in just a minute. Again, I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

Mother: “I bet you are! I drove an hour to come to this store just for this hoodie because you lied to my daughter and told her you had a product you clearly don’t have! This is incorrigible.”

Me: “What’s incorrigible is your attitude right now. I’m very sorry about all this, but your daughter did call our store nearly a week ago about a product. Of course our inventory is going to change between Monday, when we get all our shipment in, and Sunday just before close. If the hoodie was that important, perhaps you should have come out sooner. I can only apologize so many times for something that is outside of my control. Additionally, we are now closed, and have been for several minutes. However, I would still be willing to call another store or order this hoodie online. Alternatively, you could leave and come back at another time, and perhaps we’ll have some in then.”

Mother: “Well, I never! All right, here’s what I want you to do. I’m going to give you my number, and you are going to call me when you get more of these hoodies in. Then, you are going to send me one to my house free of charge. Do you understand me?”

(My manager comes around the corner with a look on her face that clearly indicates she had been listening.)

Manager: “Of course, ma’am. Let me take down your name and number, and I will be sure to talk with my associate about all this.”

(The woman smugly gives my manager her info, then she and the daughter leave. I wait by the registers while my manager pulls and locks our gates.)

Me: “Am I fired?”

Manager: *crumples up paper with the customers info* “Like h*** I’m catering to that b****.”

1 Thumbs
2,480
VOTES

Three-dom Isn’t Free

| TX, USA | Right | May 12, 2014

(I’m a cashier at the local supercenter and I’m working the afternoon shift. We have impulse candy racks at the end of each register that come in both normal and king-sized packages. Under the price tags is a strip that reads “all king-sized candy bars three for $3.” A customer approaches my register.)

Customer: “The candy is three for $3 dollars, yes?”

Me: “Yes, sir. The king-sized candy bars are all three for $3.”

(The customer grabs a few of the candy bars from the candy rack and sets them down on the conveyor belt with the rest of his items. I check them all out like normal and I notice that he had purchased two candy bars for $0.68 and one king-sized candy bar for $1. The customer gives me a strange, irritated look as I hit the total button on my keyboard.)

Customer: “The candy was three for $3. You said it was three for $3.”

Me: “Yes, sir, the king-sized candy bars are all 3 for $3. You bought two candy bars that cost $0.68 and one king-sized candy bar for $1.00.”

Customer: “But your sign says three for $3! Why is it not $3 for these candy bars!?”

Me: “Because, sir, the candy bars that you purchased amount to less than $3.00.”

(The customer went silent for a moment, though his irritated expression never left his face. He paid for his merchandise without another word and left. I stood there for a few moments trying to figure out what kind of math he was using.)

1 Thumbs
1,196
VOTES

How To Rack Up Brownie Points

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | May 12, 2014

(I work at a member-card type box store. Each day a half-dozen staff spend most of their time just walking around and putting away the products customers decided they didn’t want and left randomly in corners, like bloody meat on a stack of white shirts.)

Customer: “I’m trying to decide which of these adorable dresses to buy for my granddaughter. What do you think?”

Me: *gives honest opinion*

Customer: “I agree! Do you mind if I leave my cart here for a minute while I go return this other dress to the rack where I found it?”

Me: “Uh… you mean you’re going to put something back? Would it be inappropriate of me to say that I love you?”

1 Thumbs
2,045
VOTES

Trying To Cash In On Credit

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Right | May 12, 2014

(I’m on the register and call the next customer in line up to my till.)

Me: “Hello. Did you find everything all right today?”

Customer: “I just need to return these sweatpants.”

Me: “Oh, sure. Was there anything wrong with them?”

Customer: “They’re ugly.”

Me: *proceeding with the transaction* “I’m sorry you feel that way. May I see your receipt?”

(The customer tosses the receipt at me, along with her ID. I continue processing the transaction without incident until…)

Me: “Okay, you’re going to get back $49.97 for these sweatpants. Looking at your receipt, I see you paid with your [store credit card], so I’ll just go ahead and put the balance back on your card.”

Customer: “No, I paid with cash.”

Me: *looking at the receipt again* “No, ma’am. It very clearly says here at the bottom that you paid with your [store credit card].” *shows receipt to customer* “See?”

Customer: “Yes, but then I paid cash.”

Me: *a light bulb goes off in my head* “Oh! Did you put the purchase on your [store credit card] and then pay off the purchase with cash in the store?”

Customer: “Yes. I paid cash.”

Me: “Okay. Well, unfortunately, the original purchase was made on your card, so I can only refund this to you on your card or store credit.”

Customer: “No. I paid cash, and I want cash back.”

(The circular argument goes on for several minutes, with the customer becoming more and more irate. Finally, I call a manager over to explain.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what my associate is telling you is correct. You made this purchase on a credit card, and so we can only refund it to you on that card. Our computers won’t let us do it any other way.”

Customer: “FINE!” *throws credit card at me* “I hope you’re both happy to have stolen money from me!”

1 Thumbs
1,082
VOTES
Page 396/831First...394395396397398...Last
« Previous
Next »