A Good Manager Likes Their Staff Cloning Around

| MA, USA | Working | December 22, 2013

(I work at the service desk at our store. Sometimes they have me swap out with a coworker to take care of merchandise on the floor. Today is one of those days. When my coworker arrives to switch with me, we get hit with a big line of customers. Both of us are there for nearly half an hour together. Just as the line dies down, my manager calls from outside the store to check in on things.)

Manager: “What are you still doing at the desk? You’re supposed to be over in Misses! And [Coworker] is still there too? I can’t have both of you there!”

Me: “Sorry. We had a big rush. We’re just cleaning up. Once everything’s in order we can swap.”

Manager: “Good. I need [Coworker] out on the floor to start taking care of the shoe department.”

Me: “Um, wait. If [Coworker] is going to be in shoes, who’s at the service desk?”

Manager: “You, of course!”

(This isn’t the first time my manager has implied that I can clone myself!)

The Screwdriver Is Complimentary

| CA, USA | Right | December 20, 2013

(I work at a hobby store that sells everything from arts and crafts for kids to models and remote control vehicles. A customer and her small son come in and shop around for a bit. They eventually bring up a vacuum for catching bugs.)

Me: “Alright. That will be [price]. This requires three AA batteries. Did you need those?”

Customer: “Yeah. We better get some.”

Me: “Okay. Your new total comes to [price].”

(They pay and leave. Not five minutes later they come back in.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, but do you have a screwdriver to open this with?”

(The customer meant one she could buy but we have one behind the counter for this type of situation. I go ahead and just open the battery cover for her on the bug catcher.)

Me: “There we are! You’re good to go.”

(I hand it back to the little boy. They begin to leave when the customer turns around and addresses her son.)

Customer: “Tell the nice lady ‘thank you.'”

Son: *with a look of concentration on his face* “You… are… sooo… beautiful.”

Me: “Why, thank you!”

(The mom is slightly embarrassed but thanks me again. They leave. I turn to my coworker, who watched the whole thing and is smiling)

Me: “I don’t know where he learned those manners from, but he’s gonna do well in life.”

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Coughing Up The Truth

| St. Paul, MN, USA | Working | December 19, 2013

(A representative at the mall is taking customer surveys.)

Representative: “Hi there! Do you mind if I ask you some questions about cough suppressants?”

Me: “Not at all.”

(We go through the relatively quick survey.)

Representative: “Thank you for your responses. Would you like a sample of our product?”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Representative: “It won’t cost you anything.”

Me: “I don’t have a cough right now.”

Representative: “That’s okay!”

Me: “I am not in the habit of taking medication for something I don’t have.”

Representative: “It’s really like a piece of candy!”

Me: “Then why are you promoting it as a cough suppressant?”

Representative: “Uh…”

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No Paws For Thought, Part 3

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Right | December 19, 2013

(I’m a customer at a big-box superstore. I have an invisible disability. I have just gotten a small service dog to help me with it. We don’t have a ‘service dog’ vest for him yet. He’s currently sitting quietly in the child seat of a grocery cart, well out of reach of any of the store’s products. I’m waiting to check out. A customer right in front of me in line turns to me.)

Customer: “They let you have a dog in here? That’s not allowed.”

Me: “They don’t seem to mind as long as I keep him up and away from food. Plus, he’s a service dog.”

Customer: “You can’t have dogs where’s there’s food. I know; I have a dog. I’d like to bring him with me but I can’t. You can only have service dogs inside.”

Me: “He is a service dog.”

Customer: *to cashier* “Can you believe that some people bring their dogs everywhere? You can only have service dogs inside.”

Me: *louder* “He IS a service dog.”

Customer: *still talking to cashier “People need to learn you can’t just bring your dog anywhere you want. Only service dogs are allowed.”

(I give up and talk to the cashier.)

Me: “He IS a service dog. I have the papers for him and everything.”

(The customer ignores me. She finishes checking out and walks off, still muttering.)

Customer: “Only service dogs are allowed inside.”

Cashier: “What the heck was her problem? Some people need to spend some time living in real society like we do and figure out how things work.”

Older Couple Behind Us In Line: “D*** right!”

(We proceed to finish checking out. We spend five minutes laughing with the older couple behind us and telling jokes about entitled people. Thanks for making our day, grouchy customer!)

No Paws For Thought, Part 2
No Paws For Thought

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Don’t Trust ’em If They Bring No Custom

| OH, USA | Right | December 18, 2013

(I work in a big box electronics store that is liquidating. It is the last day, and my shift has ended. As I am on my way to the break-room after clocking out, the following exchange occurs near our former camera department.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir. Do you work here?”

(I still have my company polo on.)

Me: “Not any more!”

Customer: “This is why you’re going out of business!”

Me: “Actually, I never saw you in here once in the three years I worked here. YOU are the reason we’re going out of business, you vulture!”

(I understand he called the store and threatened come to the parking lot to shoot me. Thankfully, by then, I had already gone home!)

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