This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6

| Orlando, FL, USA | Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “Wait, that’s only supposed to be twenty dollars cheaper.”

Me: “Yes sir, that’s after the mail-in rebate. You have to send in the paperwork and proof of purchase.”

Customer: “Well why don’t you give me the discount now and send in the rebate yourself?”

Me: “No, that’s not how this works. You are responsible for sending in the rebate yourself.”

Customer: “You mean you’re making me responsible for my own money?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

Seeing The Sun In A Whole New Light

| Narvik, Norway | Geography, Math & Science, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(I work in a store, where a lot of tourists come through. A German motorcyclist couple are on their way up to the North Cape.)

Customer: “Oh, your country is so beautiful! We’re going all the way up to the North Cape on our motorcycle.”

Me: “Wow, how fun! Hope you get lucky with the weather then.”

Customer: “Thank you dear. Yes, we have always wanted to see the midnight sun. We have saved up for this trip for years.”

Me: “Well, then I really hope the weather gods are on your side. Would be a shame if it were all cloudy and grey when you get there.”

Customer: “Oh, they say the midnight sun is so bright, it’ll shine through just about anything when it comes up! Can’t wait!”

Me: “When it comes up? The sun is up all the time now.”

Customer: “What? We’re here to see the midnight sun! You know, the one that shines at midnight?!”

Me: “Ma’am, the midnight sun is the sun. The only sun. Only difference is that it’s so high here up north that it never sets. It just circles around a little. Therefore we can see it at night.”

Customer: “What!” *she turns to her husband and rants in German* “Did you hear that? We’ve been ripped off! It’s the same sun as we have at home! And to think we came to this s*** expensive country, drove all the way, and it’s the same Sun!?”

When Two Wrongs Make It Right

| Washington, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

(The night previous we had a customer shoplift about $300 worth of merchandise while I was on shift. Thankfully, while she did get away with quite a bit, she escaped with only one boot of a pair as I had removed the second boot, with ink tag intact, pending acceptance of her check.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [store name] what can we help you find today?”

Caller: “Hi! I was at your store last night and the lady that helped me shorted us a shoe!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. What style was it?”

Caller: “A [brand]. It was the right shoe. She was going to take the tag off and never did! I live far away so do you think you could transfer it to the [different location] store?”

Me: “I don’t believe that would be feasible as we don’t have a way to get it to that store, but we might be able to mail it to you! Can I get your name, phone number, and address?”

Caller: “Sure. It is [name, number & address].”

(I get off the phone looking like the Cheshire cat. The thief had just given her full name, phone number, and address.)

Sounds Like They’ve Had Too Many Bottles Already

| Memphis, TN, USA | Religion, Uncategorized

(I’m working at a popular arts and crafts store as a cashier.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [store], this is [name], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, do you have a chemical, or some sort of solution, for turning clear water into wine?”

Me: “Uh… like… dyeing it to look like wine?”

Customer: *completely serious* “No. Turning it INTO wine.”

Me: “Ma’am, I think you’ll have better luck calling the church for that.”

Some Customers Are Completely See-Through

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(When a customer at the store uses a credit card, we always need ID and either the last four digits and/or the security code on the back.)

Me: “Alright, sir, I’ll just need to see your ID and credit card for a second.”

Customer: *hands me ID* “2-9-4-7!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I have to see the credit card for security reasons.”

Customer: *shouting slowly* “2-9-4-7!”

Me: “Yes, sir, I heard you. But I need to be able to see the card.”

Customer: “No. No way. I never let anyone see my card. You people are just trying to take my numbers and use my card for yourselves! No way!”

Me: “I promise you, sir, I will not be able to memorize your 16-digit number and know your security number by looking at the front of the card for less than two seconds.”

Customer: “I know a girl who can do it!”

Me: “Well, I do not have that kind of memory, but what if you put your finger over the numbers and just show me the name on the card and the last four digits? I absolutely must see the card, sir, or you will have to pay with a different method.”

Customer: “Well…I guess that would be okay. You don’t have X-ray vision, do you?”

Me: *laughs* “No, no I don’t.”

Customer: “Don’t laugh! I know someone who does!”

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