Getting Inside The Meat Of The Matter

| WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work the night shift at a popular big box store and have answered a phone call at around 3 am.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What is your return policy on food if I don’t have a receipt?”

Me: “Without a receipt, you can exchange food items for other food items, sir.”

Customer: “Well, I bought meat and it leaked blood all over my fridge!”

Me: “I’m really sorry about that. If you bring in the meat, we can exchange it and make sure the new package is wrapped up so it won’t leak.”

Customer: “Well, how about I take it to the hospital and have it x-rayed to see if you tampered with it, hmm!?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I’m going to take this meat to the ER, right now, and have them x-ray it because you tampered with it!”

Me: “Well, sir, if you want to take meat to the hospital at 3 am and have it x-rayed, you’re certainly welcome to do so.”

Customer: “That’s right! I am!” *slams phone down*

Coworker: “Did you just say someone was x-raying some meat?”

Me: “I’m going on break.”

Konnichi-woah

| Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Food & Drink, Top, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a tourist souvenir shop. On this day, we receive much-needed maple products, including maple candy, syrup and the like. I am busy labelling the new stock as my coworker receives the stock.)

Me: “Well, I know there will be Japanese tourists in today.”

Coworker: “…Huh?”

Me: “Last time we got our maple shipment in, we sold half of it before it was all completely in the system. They just seem to know when we have it. The Japanese tourists just have a sense for it. We’ll be busy tonight.”

Coworker: “Oh, really?”

Me: “Yep, just you wait…”

(An hour later, two Japanese tourists come into the store and take a look around as we are busy working. When they are finished, both come up to the counter with baskets of maple syrup bottles. Once I’m finished helping both of them, I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “Well what have you got to say to that?”

Coworker: *not believing me* “No comment.”

(About twenty minutes later, I hear the door open, but it doesn’t shut immediately. Curious, I look up in the direction of the door.)

Me: “Oh, look, they brought friends!”

Coworker: *looks up and at the front* “Holy crap!”

(A group of about nine Japanese tourists walk in, all immediately heading for our ‘maple’ section of the store. Due to the small size of the store, it is a lot of people to have in at once. We help them as best we can. Despite there being a huge language barrier, I recognize some words and we are able to help each one of them as they patiently wait their turn in line. Once they are all finished and things are once again quiet, I turn once again to my coworker.)

Me: “So, you believe me now?”

Always Jump At The Chance For Fun

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Top

(A customer in her forties comes through my line, and we exchange pleasantries as I ring her out. It’s a perfectly normal interaction.)

Me: “Do you have your [store] rewards card?”

Customer: “No, I don’t believe I have one.”

Me: “Well, would you like to sign up?”

(The customer agrees and I walk her through the process. Everything goes smoothly and at the end, I scan her new card and hand it to her.)

Me: “There you go!”

Customer: “Yay!”

(Suddenly, the customer starts jumping up and down in joy, waving her hands and looking for all the world like an ecstatic six year old. This goes on for a while and, not knowing what else to do, I wind up jumping with her. Just as suddenly as she started, she calms down and stops jumping.)

Woman: “There, wasn’t that exciting? Now you’ll be cheery for the whole rest of the day!”

(I certainly was!)