TGIM

| CT, USA | Working | December 6, 2013

(I’m the owner of a yarn shop. We’re open Tuesday through Sunday, and closed on Mondays.)

Employee: “Hey, Boss. I have a question. I’d really like to work on Mondays.”

Me: “Sorry, but we’re closed Mondays. So, that won’t work.”

Employee: “Well, since I’m willing to work Mondays, I think I should get paid for Mondays.”

Me: “I’m sorry? We’re not open so no-one works and so no-one gets paid, right?”

Employee: *irritated* “No, I want to work. If you won’t let me that’s your problem. I think I should get paid for any day I’m available to work.”

Me: “Seriously, no. Now can we go back to actually working, since it’s Tuesday and you’re getting paid?”

Employee: “But I don’t understand why you won’t pay me for Mondays?”

(She never did let it go. Eventually we fired her.)

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High Five Low Point

| MD, USA | Right | December 5, 2013

(A customer has come in to pick up some parts they ordered. They provided part numbers and quantities. He is looking through the items. The manufacturer sells some of their small parts in package quantities only, and we always let customers know when they have to buy a whole package.)

Customer: “These five are individually packaged?”

Me: “Yes. You ordered five.”

Customer: “No. It’s supposed to be a pack of five.”

Me: “So you needed twenty-five?”

Customer: “I only need one, but they’re supposed to be $2 for a pack of five.”

Me: “Well, since we can buy them individually, we sell them individually. They’re $2 each.”

Customer: “But I don’t want five. I only need one. I only want to buy one if they’re individually packaged.”

Me: “That’s fine.”

(I take the others back and finish up the transaction. The customer intently looks over the receipt after I give it to him.)

Customer: *in a mildly upset voice* “You charged me shipping and handling.”

Me: “Yes. You ordered things we don’t keep in stock and we were charged to have them shipped in for you.”

Customer: “Look, I don’t want to be that a**-hole customer and stand here and argue like a jack-a**. I just want to have a conversation.”

Me: “Ok.”

(I wait for him to keep talking.)

Customer: “I just want to have a conversation.”

Me: “Ok.”

(Again, I wait for him to keep talking.)

Customer: “Instead of getting all upset.”

Me: “Ok.”

(I still wait for him to keep talking.)

Customer: “You charged me shipping and handling for something I didn’t even want. The one part was supposed to be $2 for a whole pack.”

Me: “Well, you called me with the part numbers you wanted. Right?”

Customer: “Yeah…”

Me: “And you also told me the amount of each you wanted. Right?”

Customer: “Yeah…”

Me: “The pricing and availability on what you wanted was looked up before they were ordered. You were told the pricing, on each, and package quantities. I told you what the prices would be plus tax and shipping. We don’t know the exact shipping amount until the items arrive. I gave you the option of paying more for shipping to get them here faster, which you declined, because you said you weren’t in a hurry.”

Customer: “I wasn’t told there would be shipping. The guy I talked to didn’t say anything about it. Nobody said anything about additional shipping and handling.”

Me: “You talked to me. When I gave you the prices I told you they would be plus tax AND shipping. You told me to go ahead with the order using the slower, cheaper, shipping option. I was also able to combine your order with an order of parts we normally stock, so you were only charged for part of the total shipping.”

Customer: “Uh, oh, well… um. Thanks for having a conversation with me.”

(The customer takes a couple of steps away, then suddenly switches to a perturbed huff.)

Customer: “I’m going to keep the extra shipping charges in mind the next time I need to find someplace to order parts.”

Me: “You do that, and I’ll be keeping in mind your reluctance to pay for what you ordered and the shipping you approved.”

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Tastefully Talking Turkey

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Right | December 4, 2013

(I am in line waiting to be checked out for some items. The customer ahead of me has paid for his merchandise. As he takes his change he strikes up a conversation between himself and the young female clerk.)

Customer: “I was wondering, are you going to be open on Thanksgiving? I know some stores are starting to do that.”

Clerk: *sighs* “Yes, sir. We’re open until 8 pm.”

Customer: “Well, that’s certainly some bull-s*** right there!”

Clerk: *laughing* “I’m not allowed to comment, sir.”

Customer: “Well, I am. Please tell your boss you got some resoundingly negative feedback from a customer over that. And, while you’re at it, tell him the same customer gave you a resoundingly POSITIVE feedback on your service. You’re a very nice young lady. I hope you prosper in life.”

(The customer then walks out, leaving the clerk and I to look at each other in mutual confusion.)

Clerk: “Well, that apparently just happened.”

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No Escape From Stupid Moments, Part 2

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Right | December 4, 2013

(I work in a three-level retail store, on the bottom floor. Access to the connected mall is only on the second and third floors. It’s a pretty big place, and sometimes customers get confused as to where to go or how to leave. One day a customer comes running up to my cash, pushing next to a customer I’m ringing in.)

Customer: “Come on. I want to leave!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “I want to go! I want to leave!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you need help with something?”

Customer: “I want to go. I’m in a hurry! I want to get out!”

(The customer is near screaming now, and she looks ready to snap.)

Me: “You want to leave the store?”

Customer: “Yes! How do I get out? I want to leave right now. I’m in a hurry!”

(I point at the two sets of large glass doors no more than twenty feet away, with the sun shining through them.)

Me: “Uh. The exit’s just right there, ma’am.”

Customer: “Where?!”

Me: “Right down there, ma’am. At the end of the aisle.”

(The customer runs down the aisle, looking as if someone is about to grab her and chain her to a fixture, and bursts out of the doors.)

Me: “…I guess when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.”

Related:
No Escape From Stupid Moments

Flip Flop Flop

| NM, USA | Right | December 4, 2013

(I work in a department store selling shoes. I’m all alone in my department one night. A rather bedraggled looking customer comes in, grabs a display sandal, and slams them on my counter.)

Customer: “I want to buy these.”

Me: “Okay. What size do you need?”

Customer: “Whatever. Just pick one.”

(I look down at his feet to estimate his size, and notice he is barefoot. I go back into the stock room and grab a pair of the sandals he wants. When I get back out to the counter, security is standing there waiting.)

Me: “Okay, sir. I grabbed you a nine. Do you want to try them on?”

Customer: “No. Just ring them up.”

Me: “Okay. That’ll be $107.80.”

(The customer rummages through his wallet for several minutes, and finally hands me $4.)

Me: “Thank you, sir. Now we just need $103.80.”

Customer: “I handed it to you, sweetie.”

Me: “You only handed me $4. That’s not enough for these shoes.”

Customer: “Oh, gosh, sweetie. I’m sorry. Here.”

(The customer hands me another stack of dollar bills, which I count. He’s still about $70 short.)

Me: “Okay. That’ll be another $70.”

Customer: “I already gave it to you!”

(I count out the total bills he handed me, and show him my screen showing the total. I grab a calculator and work out the difference for him.)

Customer: “I’M TELLING YOU, I ALREADY PAID YOU!”

Security: “You didn’t pay her enough, sir.”

Customer: “Screw this place!”

(The customer takes his money back and storms out the door.)

Me: *to security* “Well, that was interesting.”

Security: “I told him he couldn’t be in here without shoes, so he said he’d go buy some. Glad to see that worked out for him.”

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