Now That Is A Wonder Bra

, | Brighton, UK | Uncategorized

(The ‘invisible bras’ we advertise talk about the see-through straps.)

Customer: “I thought this was an invisible bra, but I can see it!”

(She is pointing angrily at the black bra under her thin white top.)

Me: *playing along* “No, miss. The invisible bras were the ones next to those ones. I don’t know how you didn’t see them.”

Attack Of The O’Hooligans

, | Foley, AL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, are you the manager?

Me: “Yes. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to complain about your employee in the jewelry department. She’s a hooligan!”

Me: “Well, what did she do?”

Customer: “Her hair is green!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s just for St. Patrick’s Day.”

Customer: “I don’t care! It’s unprofessional and rebellious! It probably means she’s in a gang!”

Me: “Very well. I’ll talk with her.”

(The associate and I have a good laugh over it. She comes in the next day with her ordinary brown hair. The customer happens to come in, too.)

Customer: “Oh, your hair is brown! I’m glad I was able to help you get reformed from your rebellious ways!”

One Baby Or Less Aisle

| Round Rock, TX, USA | Uncategorized

(I am checking out a mother with an infant son.)

Mother: “I have a question. Will you guys take cute as payment?”

(My manager is standing behind me.)

Manager: “We’ll take him.”

Wait In Line, Parish The Thought

| Tampa, FL, USA | Top

(A customer comes up to the front of a long checkout line.)

Me: “Ma’am, you have to go to the back of the line or go to another line to purchase. There is already a line here.”

Customer: “I have to checkout now! I have to go to church in 5 minutes!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you have to wait. You could also come back and get your toy after your service.”

Customer: “I have to checkout now! I bet you’re just some heathen who wants me to miss church!”

(A customer who is also a priest comes up to the front.)

Priest: “Ma’am, going to church will not make you a better Christian. Shouting something as hateful as ‘heathen’ to this sweet lady certainly won’t help either.”

Customer: “She won’t check me out so I can go to church! She obviously is not Christian.”

Priest: “Ma’am, just please go to the back of the line, or leave. Nobody wants to hear your hateful comments to such a sweet woman. She might not be Christian, but she sure gives a lot more respect to people than you do.”

Customer: *huffs* “Fine! But when God sends his fire upon both of you, you’ll be sorry!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

| WA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Why didn’t my order go through?”

Me: “It looks like your card declined due to insufficient funds.”

Customer: “Well, yeah. But I fail to see how that’s my problem.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 11
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 10
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 9
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

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