Give Customers A Piece Of Your Mind

| Dartmouth, NS, Canada | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

(An irate customer is frustrated with my store’s return policy, and asks me to call my manager.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but she isn’t answering her cell phone or house number, but she’ll be in tomorrow if you want to try again then.”

Customer: “No! You get her on the phone now!”

Me: “I just called both of the numbers she provided, and she didn’t answer. That sort of leaves me with telepathy.”

Customer: “Well, could you try that?”

Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance, Part 2

| NH, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Uncategorized

(I am working in the clothing section of a department store when I overhear this conversation. Note: I work with a very nice woman who moved to America from India about ten years ago.)

Mother: “Did you find everything you needed, hon?”

Child: “Yep! A really nice Indian lady helped me.”

Mother: “No, no! We don’t say Indian. We say ‘Native American.'”

Child: “No, mom, not that kind of Indian. One from India!”

Mother: “Don’t be silly, hon. We took their country from them, not gave them one.”

Related:
Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance

Children Of The Corn Aisle

| Athens, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

(A women comes in with six children. They are all whining, complaining, and touching everything they can find.)
 
Me: “Are they all yours?”
 
Customer: “Girl, you crazy!?” *she looks at the kids* “Two, Three and Five, raise your hands!”
 
(Three of the children raise their hands.)
 
Customer: “They’re my babies. The rest of these, I don’t know. They just follow me around!”

Don’t Make A Rash Purchase

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

Customer: “I need a matte eye-shadow because I’m allergic to shiny.”
 
Me: “Do you know what ingredient you’re allergic to in shiny eyeshadow?”
 
Customer: “Shiny! You know, shiny! I’m very sensitive!”
 
Me: “Well, our matte eye-shadows are here.”
 
(I pull aside the testers for the few matte products we have.)
 
Customer: “Can I try this one?”
 
Me: “Sure!”
 
(I go to get a disposable brush. When I turn around, the customer has her eyes closed and is holding the tester millimeters from her eye. She opens her eyes to see me staring at her holding out a brush.)
 
Customer: “I’m not allergic. I can tell using muscle testing. I’m very sensitive! This is a good one! What other colors do you have?”
 
(She spent the next 20 minutes holding various products ‘testing them’ and announcing everything she was allergic to.)

The Customer Is Always Righteous

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Religion, Uncategorized

(A regular customer comes into our store. She’s known to be very difficult to please.)

Customer: “Good evening.”

Me: *cheerily, while ringing her items up* “Good evening, ma’am! That’s $5.31, please.”

(She puts a credit card down in front of me, which I ring through the register.)

Me: “If you could please sign right there…”

(I point, and she does. I bag her items and hand her the bag, her credit card, and her receipt. She takes them slowly and I think I’ve done a good job, but apparently not.)

Customer: “You dishonor me! You dishonor me and you will burn for it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: “God honors me! You don’t, and you will burn! I don’t know, I’m not God. But that’s what he’s saying. You dishonor me and you will burn!” *walks away*

Me: *totally speechless*

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