Bigot Bait

| Burleson, TX, USA | Top

(I am helping a customer when a red-faced older man walks up and slaps the counter.)

Customer: “Why does [store] have illegals working here?! This is America!”

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. If you can just calm down–”

Customer: “Don’t you tell me to calm down! I fought for this country! I didn’t fight so that a bunch Mexicans could take over our country. You need to have someone here who speaks English in [department]!”

Me: “Sir, your language and comments are offensive to me, and I would like you to not speak to me again. I will be happy to get a manager for you, though.”

Customer: “F***ing Mexican lover!”

Customer, to his companion: “Let’s get out of here! Now!”

(I walk over to the department he was referencing. However, the only person there is a customer who just happens to be wearing something similar to our uniform. She smiles at me and says, in perfect English, “I really pissed him off, didn’t I?”)

1 Thumbs
3,116
VOTES

Stealer’s Remorse

| Cambridge, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Top

(We sell, among other things, cards for a popular trading card game. A customer walks in, walks directly to the counter, and pulls a few cards out of his pocket.)

Customer: “I’d like to purchase these, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, purchase? Don’t you mean sell?”

Customer: “Yeah, I didn’t have the money at the time. However, I didn’t want anybody else to get them, so I just left with them. I’d like to pay for them now, thanks.”

Life In Plastic, It’s Fantastic

| Texas, USA | Bizarre

Customer: “I need help, anyone!”

Me: *rushing over* “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “That TV is showing bad things!”

(The TV in question is playing movie trailers on loop.)

Me: “Which trailer did you find offensive?”

Customer: “The one with the girl that is saying the girl is perfect! Nobody’s perfect!”

(At that moment, a trailer for a new Barbie movie comes on.)

Customer: *screaming* “That’s the bad movie!”

Supermarket, The Musical

| Gainesville, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Musical Mayhem

(It has been a quiet morning but the store has been filling up and it is very loud. My ears haven’t quite adjusted yet.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

(I begin scanning and bagging her items.)

Customer: *mumbling*

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

(The customer mumbles, and then begins singing something unintelligible. We play music in the store, so I thought she was singing along.)

Customer: *gradually increasing in volume* “No bag…no bag…NO bag…NO BAG!”

Me: “I’m sorry, are you singing, ‘No bag’?”

Customer: “Well, I told you a couple of times, but you went ahead and started bagging, so I decided to sing it!”

Of Inky Inputs And Inopportune Idioms

| Perth, Australia | Criminal & Illegal

(I am a employee at a electronics store. We are having a fairly normal day. As I am attending to a woman, two men barge through the shop and demand that everyone drop to the ground.)

Customer: *starts looking through her purse*

Me: “Ma’am, I think we should do what they say and not call the police.”

Customer: “No, I’m not looking for that…ah! Here it is!”

(The customer holds up a pen. Meanwhile, I’m lying on the floor with a confused look on my face.)

Customer: *whispers* “The pen is mightier then the sword.”

Page 377/581First...375376377378379...Last