Obama Drama

| Durham, NC, USA | Right | September 5, 2014

(I work in a high-end stationery boutique, whose clientele is generally upper middle class and upper class white women in their 40s to 60s – the sort of people whose spending habits didn’t really change when the economy nose dived. This customer appeared to be no different, and the address on the check she paid with confirmed as much.)

Customer: “Where’s your clearance section?”

Me: “We actually don’t have clearance sales, outside of our semi-annual sales after Christmas and Father’s Day.”

Customer: “So everything in here is full-priced?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: *sighs loudly* “Fine, I’ll pay full-price. But I really need to be saving every penny, with that black man as president.”

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Being A Good Person Is Doctor’s Orders

| Australia | Right | September 5, 2014

(One of our national TV broadcasters has a chain of stores that sell DVDs and other merchandise for the shows on their channel. I am waiting in the store in line behind an older customer.)

Customer: “… but I don’t understand why your shop is full of this Doctor Who rubbish! It’s a waste of space! You should be selling products for good, wholesome educational shows, not this science-fiction crap! It doesn’t teach kids anything! I bet that stuff doesn’t even sell!”

Manager: “With all due respect, ma’am, Doctor Who is one of our network’s highest-rating and most popular dramas, and while it is primarily aimed at an older audience it meets the Australian Board of Classification’s definition of a family show. Furthermore, you don’t have to watch it or purchase the merchandise if you don’t agree with it.”

Customer: “It’s not the most popular show! Nobody even watches it! I bet the girl behind me has never even heard of it!”

(She turns to look at me and realises I’m wearing a TARDIS T-shirt holding several pieces of ‘Doctor Who’ merchandise. Behind me in line is a mother with her five- and eight-year-old sons, buying a ‘Doctor Who’ backpack for the older one. The customer realises her argument isn’t going to work and decides to start attacking the mother.)

Customer: “You shouldn’t let him watch that science-fiction crap! It doesn’t teach them anything!”

(Normally I would keep my mouth shut in this situation and let the manager handle it, but I was getting so fed up that I decided to speak up.)

Me: “Excuse me, but Doctor Who is an extremely deep and educational show with a large cult following, that teaches lessons that go far beyond the schoolyard.” *I begin to recite a speech given by a character on the show* “The Doctor taught me that you don’t just give up. You don’t just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what’s right when everyone else just runs away.”

(Taken aback, the customer shut her mouth, quickly pays for her things, and leaves.)

Five-Year-Old Behind Me: “Mummy, I change my mind! I want to be like her when I grow up!”

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That Ticket Was Just The Ticket

| CO, USA | Working | September 4, 2014

(I work in a store which requires specific things in order to get our products, namely, a background check.)

Me: “Sorry, they don’t normally take this long. Seems like CBI is taking their time.”

Coworker: *jokingly* “Yeah, they must be on break.”

Customer: “It’s okay.”

(I wait another ten minutes, and finally get a denied notice.)

Me: “Well, unfortunately you got denied for some reason. They don’t tell us why, but we can do the appeal for you.”

(I go through the process with him and help him filling it out.)

Me: “Well, at least it wasn’t something serious.” *jokingly* “We’d know by now!”

Coworker: “Yeah, at least two cops didn’t just magic themselves here.”

Customer: “I wonder if it’s that traffic ticket?”

Me: “It might be if they didn’t file the paperwork correctly. We’ll hold it here until it gets straightened up.”

(Customer walks out, just as two police cars come screaming up and stop him. His son comes in a few moments later)

Son: “Turns out he had an open warrant on that ticket.”

Coworker: “I feel like such an a**hole…”

Match Point To You

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | September 4, 2014

(We have a price matching policy that gives 15% off the regular price from other stores, but there are conditions. It has to be off full price, personal shopping only, no online stores, and we have to be able to confirm it with the other store first. A customer thrusts a printed sheet for the price of a sewing machine from another store. She also hands me a printout from our site, stating our discount policy.  This is the first time I’ve dealt with this sort of sale so I take the time to read both printouts.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but this for an online purchase. Our policy does not include online.”

Customer: “They have a shop front.”

Me: “If that is right then I will need to ring them for confirmation.”

(There’s no answer when I ring due to it being a Sunday and the store being closed. I am still reading the printouts when I notice that the price shown is discounted.)

Me: “Sorry, there’s no answer, and I’ve just noticed that this price is discounted. We don’t match discount prices.”

Customer: “It’s not discounted. It’s the normal price.”

Me: “No, sorry. It shows both discount and full price. That full price is actually more than we sell the item for.”

Customer: “No. It’s their normal price and you have to match it.”

Me: “No, we do not match discount prices or online sales.”

Customer: “Now you are just making things up. What other excuses are you going to come up with?”

Me: “I would like to point out that I am reading this directly off the discount policy that you printed off and gave to me.”

Customer: *snatches both sheets off me* “Well, we’ll just go to the other store then!” *storms out*

Not Well Versed In Pillow Talk

| Sudbury, ON, Canada | Working | September 4, 2014

(I’m looking at pillows when I notice that one of the display units don’t match any of the others.)

Me: “Excuse me. I’m looking for this pillow, but none of these pillows seem to match. Am I missing it, or is it sold out?”

Employee: “Let me see… Ah, it’s probably this one!”

(I can see from the box that it’s not.)

Me: “Actually, that doesn’t look right. I’m looking for the one with this bubble wrap gel. That one is more of a foam sheet.”

Employee: “Hmm. Only way to tell for sure is to take it out of the box!”

(Despite the picture on the side clearly showing the layers of the pillow, the employee begins to open the box and unzip the pillow case. The inside pillow is still cased inside a thin white fabric. )

Employee: “See!”

Me: “I don’t think so. The layer is blue, but it’s a different material than this bubbly one.”

Employee: “Nah. Its just looks that way. Here I’ll take it out of the case… Should just zip open… No zip, huh… Okay, then.”

(The employee then begins to tear the fabric open and claw at the foam.)

Employee: “Huh. Guess you’re right. Ask up front if they know.”

(The employee then threw the opened box, pillow case, and ripped pillow on top of the boxes and walked away.)

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