The High Point Of My Night

, | Canada | Right | September 9, 2014

(I work as a cashier and am finally at the end of a long, frustrating split-shift. About 10 minutes to closing a group of guys in their early 20s come in and head straight for the confection aisle. They seem to be having a hard time deciding, and become panicked when my supervisor makes the closing announcement. They shove their candy, chips, and pop into the arms of one guy, and push him toward the cash. They leave the store, leaving their friend to pay. He places the items very slowly on the counter, blinking with confusion a number of times, swaying a little on his feet. I ring his items through.)

Me: “That’s $14.59. How will you be paying?”

Customer: “Uh… debit?”

(He slowly pulls out his wallet and fumbles for his card. He finally places it in the debit machine, and then stares at it, unmoving. The machine times-out, so I reset it. He manages, with some difficulty to make it through the rest of the transaction. When I place his bag in front of him, he looks confused.)

Customer: “Is this mine?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “These are the things I bought?”

Me: “Uh… yes. Are you all right?”

Customer: “Huh? Oh, yeah, don’t mind me, I’m just really fried.”

(He pulls a 2 dollar coin out of his pocket and puts it on the counter.)

Customer: “Don’t tell; my parents know the owner.”

(He left, marveling at the automatic doors as he did. He has been back to the store a number of times, in the same state, and makes my day whenever he shows up.)

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Very Closed Minded

| Bastrop, TX, USA | Right | September 9, 2014

(The store that this takes place in is open 24/7 and is only closed for Christmas Day. One night, around 9:30, a customer calls the store and I answer it.)

Me: ”[Location] [Store] customer service. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was calling to ask when you close tonight.”

Me: “Customer service or the store?”

Customer: “The store.”

Me: “The store stays open 24 hours, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, no, no. When does the store close?”

Me: “It doesn’t. It stays open 24/7.”

Customer: *sounding annoyed* “NO! I’m not asking when it is open I want to know when it CLOSES!”

Me: “Ma’am, the next time we’ll close, excluding things beyond our control, will be 8 pm on Christmas Eve.”

(After hearing that, the customer starts to yell into the phone.)

Customer: “I DON’T GIVE A F*** WHEN IT CLOSES CHRISTMAS EVE! I WANT TO KNOW WHEN IT CLOSES TONIGHT!”

Me: *wincing and pulling the headset from my ear as a pair of customers approach the counter* “Ma’am, please don’t yell. I am attempting to tell you that the store does not close.”

Customer: “NO, YOU ARE JUST F****** TELLING WHEN IT F******* CLOSES ON GODD*** CHRISTMAS EVE, WHEN IT’S JUST APPROACHING EASTER!”

Me: “Listen, ma’am, the store DOES NOT CLOSE UNTIL THEN!”

Customer: “BULL-F******-S***! YOU’RE NOT TELLING ME YOU CLOSE BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TO WASTE MY FUCKING GAS GETTING OVER THERE ONLY TO HAVE YOU SHOO ME AWAY!”

Me: “Listen, if you cannot understand that WE DO NOT, I REPEAT, NOT CLOSE, then I don’t know what to tell you.” *click*

(I turn to the two customers who’ve been waiting at the counter.)

Me: “Sorry about that. How can I help you?”

In-Store Customer: *chuckling* “So, when do you close?”

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Working In An Animal House

| Ireland | Working | September 8, 2014

(For security reasons, in my job you cannot walk behind the counter without someone opening a door. As a joke, I sometimes scrabble at the door and meow until someone lets me in. My supervisor gets a kick out of this, so I always have to meow to be let in.)

Me: “Meow.”

Coworker: “Why are you meowing?”

Me: “Oh, [Supervisor] makes me meow before she lets me in.”

Coworker: “Oh. Woof.”

Me: “Meow.”

Coworker: “Woof.”

Me: “Meow.”

Coworker: “WOOF.”

Me: *giving in* “Woof.”

Coworker: “You sicken me!”

So Closed But So Far

| UT, USA | Right | September 5, 2014

(It’s a Sunday, when we close early at 5 pm. A couple walks in at 4:56, but since we can’t lock the doors until exactly 5 pm, there isn’t much we can do. I’ve been hovering near them for a few minutes, and it’s now 5:15.)

Wife: “Excuse me, where is the toddler section?”

Me: “Right here. However, we are getting ready to close, so let me know if I can help you find anything.”

Wife: *absently* “Right, thanks.”

(Another ten minutes later, and the couple is still shopping.)

Husband: “Do you guys have any shorts for my daughter?”

Me: *at this point pretty annoyed* “They are in this aisle here.”

(The husband and wife wander over near another coworker of mine, and I see an opportunity.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], what time is it?”

Coworker: “About 5:30.”

Me: *within earshot* “Guess we aren’t getting out of here anytime soon.”

Wife: “Oh, are you guys closing soon?”

Coworker: “We closed at 5:00.”

Husband: “Ha ha! Guess we better get going, huh?”

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Denial Is Demanding

| NSW, Australia | Working | September 5, 2014

(We’re on holiday. I walk into the only shop open within walking distance, opposite where we’re staying, to buy a lighter.)

Employee: “No, we don’t have any. Ugh, people keep coming in all day asking for them and I keep having to explain we don’t have any demand for them!”

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