Honesty Is Not Always The Best Policy

| Batesville, AR, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Top

Me: “Okay, your total is $123.42.”

Customer: “Did you remember to add my discount?”

Me: “What discount?”

Customer: “My five finger discount.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “My five finger discount. My son comes in here all the time and says he gets a five finger discount.”

Will Never Get Past The Conceptual Stage

| Melbourne, Australia | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Uncategorized

(A customer comes to my register with prenatal vitamins and a book on conception.)

Customer: "The tablets scanned at $32.50. They’re supposed to be $20!"

Me: "Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll just get someone to check the price. Won’t be a moment."

*checks*

Me: "No, I’m sorry. $32.50 is the correct price."

Customer: "$32.50 is way too expensive! I don’t want to conceive that much!"

The Customer Has The Right To Be Wrong

| United Kingdom | At The Checkout, Top

(I have finished my shift and am doing my shopping at the self scan checkout, still in uniform.)

Customer: “Excuse me can you help me? The machine’s playing up.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’ve actually finished. I can’t log on to the system after my shift, but I can call my colleague.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! If you’ve finished why are you still here at this checkout?”

Me: “I’m shopping sir, like you are.”

Customer: “Why the h*** would you need to shop here?!”

Me: “I still need to eat, sir.”

Customer: “This is insane, what makes you think you have the right to eat?!”

Related:
Anatomically Correct Vs Politically Incorrect

The Ministry Of Silly Walks

| Pittsburg, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Top

Customer: “Excuse me, do you know where the underwear are stocked?”

(I am a fellow customer. I have no name badge, no uniform, and I have my purse hanging from my shoulder.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought you did. You walk like an employee.”

Me: “I walk…like an employee?”

Customer: “Yes, you should walk differently so people don’t confuse you.”

Me: “Like this?”

(I walk briskly for a few steps.)

Customer: “No, no, that’s why I stopped you.”

Me: “How about this?”

(I walk a little slower, stopping to look at merchandise and to examine them.)

Customer: “No, you look like you’re shelving.”

Me: “What about like this?”

(I shuffle along slowly, staring vacantly at my shoes.)

Customer: “No, you look like my son when he works. Oh dear, I guess you just can’t walk like a regular customer. You should take classes.”

(She walks way and I look five feet to my left, where an actual employee is staring, open mouthed at the scene.)

Employee: “I wonder who would teach those classes?”

Anatomically Correct Vs Politically Incorrect

| Washington, USA | Bizarre, Uncategorized

(I’m in the restroom while on duty in uniform. I walk in the door.)

Customer: *startled* "Oh!"

Me: "Sorry, excuse me."

Customer: "You people use the bathroom too?"

Me: "Yes, we only have the one, so everyone uses the same one.”

Customer: "I guess I never thought of you as real people.”

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