One Good Deed Deserve A Blogger

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “Hi, I was just in to get my vacuum tuned up a couple months prior. However, my roller brush stopped working.”

(I confirm it’s been less than three months, and upon inspection of the vacuum realize it’s likely a production error. Business is slow, so I fix her vacuum on the spot, all the while joking with her and her daughter. Here’s what happens after I finish.)

Customer: “What do I owe you?”

Me: “Nothing. It was a bad part, so it’s on me.”

Customer: “But I have to pay something! I thought you were going to stick it in back and call me next week!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s cool. It was a bad part issue, so I’m happy to make it right. Tell you what: tell your friends I was nice to you and we’ll call it even. I can just see it now: ‘Yeah, the guy at the Roseville store was super nice to me! He’s a total muppet, but he’s really good at his job!.'”

Customer: “I’ll do you better than that. I have a blog that I write and people pay $200 to advertise on it.” *she takes my business card* “Is this you?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

Customer: “Okay, go to this blog (Google cached, Ed.) in a couple days. I’m going to write all about how [my name] the muppet took care of me and how everyone in town needs to come see you.”

Me: “That’d be great. You ladies have a great rest of your weekend.”

(A couple days later, I check the blog (Google cached, Ed.). There’s a lengthy write up explaining how I personally am one of the main reasons our brand is better than our next major competitor. Our store location is mentioned as is my name. She even included a picture of one of the muppets and darned if he doesn’t look like me! The best part? Home office got wind of it and the CEO emailed my District Manager asking that she please tell me how proud he is of me.)

Shatter-Resistant, Not Idiot-Resistant

| ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

Customer #1: “Hey, these bowls say shatter-resistant… that means that don’t break, right?”

Me: “Well, it doesn’t mean they don’t break. ‘Shatter-resistant’ just means they’re much harder to break.”

Customer #1: “Huh… that’s really neat.”

(Customer #1 and #2 seem fascinated by shatter-resistant bowls, and thus begin to experiment. They begin to tap the bowls, nicking the bowls with their finger. One even starts to lightly bang it on the shelf. Then Customer #1 nods to Customer #2, and then SUMO SLAMS the bowl at full force into the ground, shattering the bowl to pieces.)

Customer #1: “Wha… why did the bowl break?”

Me: “As I said, the bowls were shatter-resistant not shatter-proof.”

Customer #2: “But they broke!” *to Customer #1* “That’s false advertisement.”

Customer #1: “Yeah! That’s false advertisement! I want my money back.”

Me: “Um, you didn’t buy anything, though.”

Customer #1: “So! That’s false advertisement! I demand my money back or to talk to your manager.”

(I decide at this point that I doubt these customers will even listen to me, so I call down my manager.)

Manager: “Hello there. How may I help you today?”

Customer #1: “These bowls say they are shatter-resistant, but they still broke when I dropped it on the ground! That means it’s false advertisement.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but shatter resistant means it’s harder to break. It does not mean it’s shatter proof.”

Customer #1: “Well, I want my money back for this worthless product.”

Manager: “Well, we can do that if you have your receipt.”

Customer #1: “Oh, I didn’t buy any of them yet.”

Customer #2: “But it’s false advertisement. She deserves her money back.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I cannot refund you your money if you didn’t buy anything.”

Customer #1: “But it’s false advertisement! I want my money back.”

Manager: “Again, I can’t refund you your money if you didn’t buy anything…”

(These two customers went back and forth with my manager for at least a half hour. My manager had security escort them out because they began to break more bowls to prove their point!)

Closing Down But Lifting Up

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

(The company I work for is going out of business, and it is my final day working. I’ve been chatting with a customer about how hard finding a new job is as I ring her up.)

Customer: “Well, thank you. We’re off to Starbucks now.”

Me: “Oh, I love Starbucks.”

Customer: “Really? Would you like me to bring you something?”

Me: “I… what?”

Customer: “Yeah, what would you like? I have a gift card so it’s not a problem.”

Me: “The closest one is fifteen minutes away.”

Customer: “I know. What would you like?”

Me: “Um… a caramel mocha?”

Customer: “Grande or venti?”

Me: “A… grande is good. Thank you.”

Customer: “It’s not a problem. Caramel mocha. I’ll be back with it soon.”

(True to her word, she was back later with the coffee. I’ve not had any luck in the job search yet, but her bringing me a free coffee on my last day really made me smile.)