No Kidding About The Kid

| MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(A customer is loudly talking on her phone while ignoring her young son. He’s already thrown his jacket to the floor and has run around the store several times, bumping into other customers. Suddenly the boy grabs a cake server off the shelf and begins waving it around in the air making light-saber noises.)

Me: “Honey, be careful with that. I wouldn’t want to see you get hurt.”

Customer #1: “[Son]!”

(The little boy drops the cake server then begins stomping around the store once again.)

Customer #1: *to the phone* “So yeah, these ones have butterflies on them.”

(The little boy seizes this opportunity to run behind the counter and begin messing with the engraving machines. I immediately pick him up and place him next to his mother.)

Me: “Here, honey. Stay with your mom.”

Customer #1: “DON’T TOUCH MY BABY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”

Me: “Ma’am, he could have seriously hurt himself. We work with dangerous equipment.”

Customer #1: “I can’t believe you would touch my son! How dare you!”

(At this point, I’m biting my tongue to keep from telling her off when another customer interjects.)

Customer #2: “Lady, if you would get off the d*** phone and watch your brat this nice woman wouldn’t have to save his life!”

Customer #1: “I’ll never shop here again!” *to me* “There has to be a law against molesting children like that! I’ll make sure you lose your job for this!” *storms out*

Clear This Customer From Memory

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I am a cashier at a grocery store. When a customer is making a purchase over $25 with a credit card, it is required that they sign for the transaction.)

Me: “Okay, now the PIN pad is just requesting your signature to finish the transaction.”

Customer: *after signing* “Should I hit enter or clear?”

Seasonings Greetings

| Canada | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

(It’s Christmas time, and I am tasked with handing out free bags of popcorn to shoppers.)

Manager: “Hey, I just got a complaint from a customer that this batch was too salty. Maybe cut it back a bit, then customers who want more salt can add it themselves.”

Me: “Sure, not a problem!”

(A couple batches later of adding barely any salt, an angry customer approaches me.)

Customer: “What the f*** is this?!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “What, is there a shortage on salt or are you just being cheap?!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, but some customers don’t like much salt on their popcorn, and it’s easier to add more than it is to remove it after the fact. If you’d like more salt you’re welcome to add more.”

Customer: “This is f***ing bulls***! I shouldn’t have to add my own f***ing salt to my popcorn! I pay good money here!”

(Thankfully, my manager overhears this and walks up.)

Manager: *to the customer* “What money? You came to me earlier and complained the free popcorn you got was too salty. I asked my associate to cut back while you loitered around the store for half an hour, picked up another free bag only to complain again!”

Customer: *turns red and leaves*