Not So Sweet Sixteen

| Melbourne, Australia | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi! I’m looking to buy an MP3 player for my daughter.”

Me: “Sure, what capacity were you looking at?”

Customer: “Hold on.”

(She takes out a sheet of paper with size specifications and a rather juvenile depiction of the device and hands it to me.)

Me: *laughs* “Aww, that’s cute! How old is your daughter?”

Customer: “Sixteen.”

Me: “Oh.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry! She’s a little kooky.”

Give Customers A Piece Of Your Mind

| Dartmouth, NS, Canada | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

(An irate customer is frustrated with my store’s return policy, and asks me to call my manager.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but she isn’t answering her cell phone or house number, but she’ll be in tomorrow if you want to try again then.”

Customer: “No! You get her on the phone now!”

Me: “I just called both of the numbers she provided, and she didn’t answer. That sort of leaves me with telepathy.”

Customer: “Well, could you try that?”

Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance, Part 2

| NH, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Uncategorized

(I am working in the clothing section of a department store when I overhear this conversation. Note: I work with a very nice woman who moved to America from India about ten years ago.)

Mother: “Did you find everything you needed, hon?”

Child: “Yep! A really nice Indian lady helped me.”

Mother: “No, no! We don’t say Indian. We say ‘Native American.'”

Child: “No, mom, not that kind of Indian. One from India!”

Mother: “Don’t be silly, hon. We took their country from them, not gave them one.”

Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance

Children Of The Corn Aisle

| Athens, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

(A women comes in with six children. They are all whining, complaining, and touching everything they can find.)
Me: “Are they all yours?”
Customer: “Girl, you crazy!?” *she looks at the kids* “Two, Three and Five, raise your hands!”
(Three of the children raise their hands.)
Customer: “They’re my babies. The rest of these, I don’t know. They just follow me around!”

Don’t Make A Rash Purchase

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

Customer: “I need a matte eye-shadow because I’m allergic to shiny.”
Me: “Do you know what ingredient you’re allergic to in shiny eyeshadow?”
Customer: “Shiny! You know, shiny! I’m very sensitive!”
Me: “Well, our matte eye-shadows are here.”
(I pull aside the testers for the few matte products we have.)
Customer: “Can I try this one?”
Me: “Sure!”
(I go to get a disposable brush. When I turn around, the customer has her eyes closed and is holding the tester millimeters from her eye. She opens her eyes to see me staring at her holding out a brush.)
Customer: “I’m not allergic. I can tell using muscle testing. I’m very sensitive! This is a good one! What other colors do you have?”
(She spent the next 20 minutes holding various products ‘testing them’ and announcing everything she was allergic to.)

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